Lovers with Open Minds, Friends with Benefits

Posts tagged ‘Drew’

Chapter 297 – Another Birthday

Chapter 295 – Viking Burial

Chapter 291 – Requiems

** Author’s note: This is a longer one, dear readers, but we felt it important to keep the whole thing together. **

“Is it possible? To do vell?”

“Yes, sir, it’s not tough to do with the right equipment.” Cody tamped down on his curiosity. Elric had handed him this marvelous photo of himself as a younger man wrapped in the arms of two gorgeous people who obviously adored him. He asked for a reprint since it was torn but his tone implied he was in no mood for questions.

Cody closed the portfolio and placed it on the table. “Tomorrow afternoon. I’ll bring it by.” He dared to reach out to stroke the white hand lying on the back of the chair. “Are you OK, sir?”

“Soon, my dear,” the Prince answered softly. “Soon I think I shall be.”

Elric arrived home to the quiet of his house and the storm inside him. Something wild brewed in his heart which he didn’t understand and wasn’t entirely sure he trusted. Before he could banish the disorienting turmoil, though, Keit appeared to greet him.

He seized the boy by the upper arms and backed him up to the wall where he captured his lips in a frenzied, searing kiss.

Keit was so shocked he didn’t respond at first. He had no idea what had come over his usually steady, composed Dom. He did not waste much time wondering though, before he let himself melt into the tight hold Elric had on him, his eyes sliding closed and his lips and tongue caressing back against his heated assault. Whatever it was, Keit was putty in Elric’s hands, caught up and willing to flow with his passionate demands.

“Downstairs.” Elric broke off to growl in Keit’s ear. “Strip and present.” He eased his hold and kissed Keit’s forehead gently, the message clear: I need you.

Keit slipped from his embrace with half-closed, smoldering eyes. “Yes, sir,” he breathed out. He managed to keep to an even pace until he was out of sight, then took the stairs two at a time, pulling his clothes off as he went. By the time he stood naked and ready for Elric, he was already standing at attention in more ways than one.

A few slow breaths later, Elric followed. Girded in the armor of his icy calm again, he found the steady center necessary to proceed. To approach Keit with anything less was madness. Passion, yes, that could be shared but uncontrolled ferocity would bring disaster. The boy would push and plead and believe himself in heaven while he drove his Dom to acts of brutality.

He descended the steps and walked slowly around Keit, his fingertips trailing along his skin as he circled. “Mein herz, my beautiful boy,” he murmured. “I give you the choice, as ve used to, vhen you came for sessions.” He leaned in close to Keit’s ear. “Vertical or horizontal?”

Keit shivered as the tip of Elric’s finger traced slowly down his spine. Unfortunately his brain had a short circuit to his mouth at that moment. His breath caught in his throat as a fingertip touched the little dimple at the very top of his ass. Denial definitely was a potent aphrodisiac, he couldn’t even form coherent speech he was so keyed up. “I-I’ll stay standing, sir,” he finally got out in a hoarse whisper.

“I said nothing about stending.” Elric nipped at the top of Keit’s ear. “But vertical it shall be.”

He stripped off his shirt and hung it on one of the hooks, then strolled up and down his equipment wall with slow, deliberate steps. The ritual steadied him, pulled him into the rhythm of the session. He made his selections just as deliberately and placed them on the table while Keit fought his shivers of anticipation.

When he approached again, he held only two items, both intimately familiar. No need for commands. Keit held out his hands for him to buckle on the padded suspension cuffs and spread his feet farther to ease the fastening of the leather cock and ball harness.

Everything proceeded as it would have during one of their client sessions with a few notable exceptions. Elric did not pull on his gloves as he would have then, his bare fingers caressing and petting where he would have refrained before. His lips touched down here and there as well, teasing and leaving trails of heat and when Keit was in harness, he took him into a tender embrace.

Keit trembled with anticipation. He had held things together during Orion’s discovery of who he was and the subsequent traumas and anxieties they had all faced. Even such upsetting, potentially life altering events rarely ruffled him beyond immediate emergencies. He was steady, he was a rock, he didn’t let the stress show…until he was allowed to. The build up behind his emotional walls had been almost at critical mass, and even the simple act of preparation had him shaky with need and giddy with relief. He moaned softly as Elric brushed his lips with his own and his body swayed into his.

“Steady, herzchen,” the Prince murmured gently before he bent to slide an arm under Keit’s knees and sweep him up in his arms. With a soft smile, he repeated the words he had spoken so often, “You are safe vith me. I shall not let you fall.”

He carried Keit over to the suspension rig and held him tight with one arm while he pulled the chains into reach. When the chains had Keit’s weight, he finally let go. Most subs would have needed a warm-up, a slow build to the more serious implements. Keit needed more and his desperation signaled a need to dispense with the preliminaries. Elric reached first for the bamboo switch and laid the first stripe across Keit’s left hip.

Upstairs, Orion wandered in from his workshop. He had finished the second frame as the Prince had requested, this one more suited to something one would find in a child’s room with little horses, sheep and rabbits carved all around. The open basement door stopped him, though, and the sounds…

He thought maybe he should start dinner instead. The frame could wait. Not that he was a gifted, instinctive cook like Sasha or Keit but Sasha had said anyone with a little patience who was able to read could learn to cook. Patience, at least with everyone but himself, he had in abundance now, something he had never had in his previous life. The doctors said it was due to ‘changes in the brain’. They hesitated to say brain damage but he knew they meant it.

Elric switched to a heavy cat. The variety in the pain was almost as important to Keit as the pain itself.

Keit lost track of how many times the flogger fell across his skin. His shoulders were in agony, the skin across his back and buttocks licked in flames. He could have so easily slipped into the calming ecstatic trance that came with this level of pain. He fought it though. He wanted to stay right here, experience every swish and stroke of the cane and the whip.

For the most part he was quiet, only a soft moan occasionally parting his lips. When the flogger wrapped around his thigh from behind and the very tips of two of the braids landed neatly on his balls though he couldn’t help the quick indrawn yelp. His head lolled back and the movement sent ice and fire through his shoulders. He cried out when the flogger landed again and sent more shards though him. He was in such agony and his gently curved cock stood like a flagpole from his body.

He cried out again with the next stroke, like a dam that once broken could not be stopped.

The Prince switched again, to his whip, the final implement he would only use to top off the sensations. He let it flick and kiss across Keit’s skin, starbursts of sharp pain, but he would never truly lay into him with it.

He sensed when Keit had reached the limit of safety and sanity, even though the boy would have begged for more, and he lowered the chains until Keit’s feet touched the floor. The chains still kept him standing as he lowered them a bit more and nudged Keit’s feet more than shoulder-width apart with his boot.

Mein herz,” he whispered as he eased lubed fingers inside Keit’s back door. His harnessed cock twitched and the boy moaned “You vill beg me for release. Plead for it prettily enough and I may grant it.”

Although his feet now touched the floor Keit doubted his ability to stand if the chain had not held him up. His legs trembled and he let out a heated moan as Elric’s fingers breached him. He murmured sweet encouraging things, letting his Dom know how much he enjoyed every touch and stroke, but he did not beg. Not yet.

He waited until Elric was pressed up behind him, his fly opened, the smooth head of his cock pressing into him. He begged for more, and he got it. His lithe body was slicked in sweat, he regained the use of his legs enough to push back and roll his hips, little whimpers and cries of ecstasy wrung from his lips as he built higher and higher.

“Uhh…oh, please sir… please, I’m so close now…please let me come,” he finally panted out.

Elric reached around to unsnap the harness in three swift tugs. The desperate groan he received when the blood rushed back in fully sent shivers of delight through him. He drove in for a few more strokes, letting Keit’s soft pleas wash over him like a cleansing rain.

He wrapped his arms around Keit and rested his head on his shoulder, his own climax imminent. “Now, herzchen,” he whispered. “Now. Give me vhat is mine.”

Keit’s body arched and shuddered on the last word Elric spoke. Molten streaks seemed to flow in his veins he came so hard and the release was so intense black spots danced behind his eyes.

The hard clench and release of Keit’s orgasm hurled Elric over the edge as well. He fastened his teeth onto Keit’s shoulder and clung tight, his soft moans muffled by skin as he rode out the heavy pulses of ecstasy.

He waited until he could draw a full, steady breath again before he eased out, took Keit’s weight more firmly against him, and released the cuffs. Keit slumped, deadweight, and he wondered if the boy had fainted. Ah, well, not the first time.

With a tenderness most people were never allowed to see, he carried Keit to the bed in the little room off the main one and slid in beside him, curling his body around him protectively.

Keit’s breathing slowly returned to normal, yet he did not stir, blissfully content to remain in Elric’s arms. The ache of soreness was starting to set in. Not the same as the sharp bite of pain that stirred his lust, but he would savor it nonetheless for the memory it would bring of this session. He was so happy, feeling absolutely loved and protected.

Herzchen…” Elric paused and lifted his head to sniff. “Ah. Pork chops, I think. Somevone is making us dinner. Do you think you can sit at table, my love, or vould you like to take dinner in bed tonight?”

Keit smiled lazily but said, “If Orion’s gone to the trouble to make dinner for us the least I can do is sit at the table, sir.”

They relaxed a little while longer and then Keit rose to go take a quick shower and dress before heading to the kitchen to see if Orion needed any help with dinner preparations.

Orion’s answer was to take him into a gentle embrace and kiss the top of his head. “It’s almost ready, little one. Is he coming?”

Keit nodded against his chest.

“Was it wonderful?” Orion whispered.

Keit gave a weak little chuckle. “Oh yes, more than wonderful.” He sighed happily and snuggled into Orion’s arms.

Five minutes later, their Dom appeared, showered, perfectly coiffed and pressed, and completely composed, the storm quelled. He settled in one of the kitchen chairs and rested his chin in his hand, watching his boys plate dinner.

“This Saturday,” he said softly. “I need them all here.”

Keit helped Orion carry the plates over and sat gingerly. “All, sir?” he asked, guessing that Elric meant their friends and already mentally creating the guest list and preparations that needed to be completed for such a large gathering on short notice.

Ja, alle,” Elric confirmed. “I shall make the calls myself. I esk only that ve hef enough food and drink on hend. A semi-formal occasion, I think, for vhich I expect you to make yourselves presentable. I shall do the rest.” He glanced over at Orion. “It is ready for me, liebchen?”

“Yes, mein herr.” Orion pointed over to the shelf by the door. “I brought it in to show you.”

Elric rose slowly to examine the picture frame, his fingers running over the little carved animals. “It is lovely. Marvelous. You hef such talent…thenk you.”

Throughout the city and farther up the coast, schedules were shuffled and reshuffled to accommodate the Prince’s request. Some of the invitees owed him, debts that could never be repaid, but all of them felt some strong connection to him and could not resist the call out of love or curiosity.

Leather and lycra left at home, a small horde of well-dressed, beautiful people descended on the house, Vincent a vision in velvet and silk, his boys in their best suits, Katya in a lovely green dress, cut scandalously low in the back, Der in his antique dress uniform jacket and so on. Even Anthony had opted for a suit and tie, things he normally wrinkled his nose at.

They milled about, waiting and speculating, no one quite sure what the occasion meant. Der leaned against the wall outside the dining room, a hand on Brandon’s shoulder. Bran looked so delicious in his double-breasted suit. Too delicious for words. Der pulled him close for a deep, languid kiss, his cock stirring at the barely leashed heat between them, his hand stealing down to…

“There’s my sweet pea!” An all too familiar voice called out beside him. “You could have come to say hello. But I see you’re busy. I suppose this is Brandon.”

“Um… hi, Mom,” Der got out in a sheepish murmur.

Brandon smiled bemusedly at the lovely lady scolding Der. He felt a bit like scolding Der himself for not telling him that his mother might be there. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Schiller, and yes, I’m Brandon,” he introduced himself.

Elisabet shook his hand while she looked him up and down. “Very nice. Much more handsome than some of your choices and much more polite.”

Der hid his face in his hands with a groan and looked like he wanted to sink into the floor.

She stood nearly nose to nose with Brandon, taller than any other woman in the room. “And what are your intentions regarding my son, young man?”

Brandon’s lips twitched. He adored her already. “Is it too cliché to say that I intend to keep him so happy he won’t think about going to find someone else?”

“That…” She smiled at him, her gray eyes twinkling. “Is the wisest answer I have ever gotten to that question.” With a pat to Brandon’s chest, she turned back to Der. “You hang onto this one, sweet pea. Someone with sense.” Then she was off again to greet Vincent and fuss over Drew and Jonathan.

Der raised his eyes to the ceiling. “Someone shoot me now. I’m sorry, Bran. I’d no idea she’d be here, too.”

Brandon smiled, slipped his arms around his waist and tugged him closer. “It’s alright, I’ll let it slide this time…sweet pea.”

“Please don’t call me that,” Der said in a pained voice. “I really don’t want to start thinking of you as my mother.”

Brandon laughed. “No, we wouldn’t want that,” he agreed and kissed him.

Upstairs, Elric knotted his tie for the fourth time. Lillana sat in the chair by the window, patient, silent for the moment, waiting, it seemed to him.

“I don’t seem able to do this today,” he said to her reflection as he undid the knot yet again. “My hends…wie sagt mann? I am entirely thumbs.”

Lilly stood and moved to his side, moving his hands gently out of the way when he turned to her. She deftly tied a crisp Half Windsor knot and smoothed the collar of his shirt. “You tied it perfectly the first time,” she said in her softly musical voice.

He let out a slow breath. “I go to strip the veil from things long hidden. To rip down the shutters and let the light in.” He caught her hand and pressed it to his heart. “And I delay…and think of changing my mind.”

She lifted her eyes to his and held them for a moment, then leaned up on tiptoe and kissed the tip of his nose. “I know, my dear Prince. I know. You shall be ready, when you are ready.”

He chuckled softly at her indulgence and the corner of her lips lifted in a little smile. “Now… should I go announce that you’re very sorry and have changed your mind?”

His forehead wrinkled and it was her turn to chuckle softly. “No? Then, perhaps you should make an appearance?”

“So. Yes.” He settled his jacket, smoothed back an imaginary stray hair, and tucked her dainty hand into the crook of his elbow. “If you valk on my arm, beautiful fairy princess. To give me courage.”

“I would be delighted, sir,” she said, and let him lead her out and down the stairs into the hall below.

Lilly had known, by the low murmur of voices, that there must be many people gathered, but she wasn’t quite prepared for the actual number that greeted them. The Prince’s ‘small gathering’ was a rather large crowd and she was actually glad for the firm arm she held onto now.

They did make quite a stunning entrance, even for such a sober affair. Him with his snow white locks pulled back into a neat single plait and her raven dark tresses floating about her like an inky curtain. Her habit of keeping her eyes lowered when first entering a room made the attention of their arrival fall upon Elric, until she looked up at him as well.

“Oh, dear gods,” Der whispered as he rose from his chair. “He’s reached up and plucked a star from the heavens.”

Several of the young men had followed suit out of instinctive respect for this vision.

“My dear friends,” Elric began in a voice pitched perfectly for the gathering. “This is Lillanna Willows, our counselor and friend who has been assisting in the household’s… recovery.”

Lilly hadn’t expected him to do that either, but she supposed she should have. She only knew Keit and Orion here; it would be easier to introduce her to everyone this way. Elric would have no way of knowing she was painfully shy in crowds and even more so with public speaking. Of course, the fact that her peaches and cream skin suddenly bloomed with pink roses and a whispered “Hello” barely made it past her parted lips only made her more endearing to many in the room at that moment.

Brandon poked Der gently in the ribs. “Wipe the drool off your chin, hon,” he whispered.

In an automatic gesture, Der lifted his hand to do just that and then shot Brandon an amused look. “Sorry.”

Richard leaned close to Katya’s ear. “Where, oh where, do you suppose he found that little gem?”

Kat smiled and patted his cheek. Where, indeed? She was certain the beauty on Elric’s arm had the attention of even the most determinedly ‘male only’ worshipers in the room. She glanced over at Jonathan and hid a small smile. Yes, that expression was just a shade too deliberately cool, even with his eyes transfixed. Not that he was likely to be interested, but certainly he could appreciate the aesthetic beauty. She chuckled as Vincent reached over without looking and closed Drew’s mouth.

Elric leaned in to whisper in Lilly’s ear, “I shall make proper introductions later, vhen all eyes are not cemented to you.” In a gallant gesture, he handed her into the empty chair next to Keit before he strode to the front of the room.

Once there, he swept the cloth off the little table to reveal the picture frames Orion had made. The ornate, inlaid one held the repaired photo of Elric with his Kurt and Annalise. The photo with the children occupied the newer frame with the little animal carvings. Between them sat a bowl full of rose petals and a black pillar candle, which Elric now lit.

Es war einmal ein mann,” he began, his voice steady and calm. “This is how all German fairytales begin. ‘There once was a man.’ But the stories from the Bleck Forest are often gruesome and the endings are not alvays heppy.”

He straightened and stood with one hand resting on the table as if he needed the contact. “In my previous life, I vas Joachim Wilhelm Sebastian Hohenzollern, the last Baron of Edelwald. The last because there are no more kings in Bavaria to name a successor and vhen I left, there vas no male relative remaining to take the title.”

He went on to describe his privileged childhood on the rambling estate, a strictly scheduled childhood filled with tutors and lessons, one which would have been unbearably lonely had it not been for Kurt. It was Kurt who comforted him when his father had been cruel and Kurt who had been there when his parents died, his lifelong friend whose love had blossomed into something more in their teenage years. He described their search for a Baroness, their first enchanted meeting with Annalise, the beautiful bride she had made, how happy the three of them had been.

He told them of his joy at the birth of his son, Johannes, and then the doubling of that joy when his daughter, Kara had been born. He had been a nervous father, afraid he would make mistakes, but his spouses were there to reassure him and calm him, both of them loving, instinctive parents.

“And then the day came vhen it all vas ripped avay,” he said softly, one finger running over the children’s picture frame. His words faltered and slipped now as he came to the day when he had lost them all, the fear, the horror, the numbing grief all crashing back in on him again. When he had finished, he leaned on the table with both hands, eyes shut tight, as if any movement might cause him to shatter.

Lilly noticed that all the people gathered held expressions of sympathy, some looking as if they wanted to go and comfort Elric, especially Keit and Orion, but none moved to do so. Perhaps they simply did not want to intrude on the careful walls he put around himself, or perhaps they were cautious since he was more than likely to lash out rather than accept any ‘coddling’. Well, emotional walls had never been a barrier to her, and she was not afraid of backlash if it helped him. She moved to his side and placed a delicate hand over his.

The curled lip, the beginnings of a snarl, came automatically, but someone began to sob softly. Elric heaved a ragged breath. He turned his hand to take Lilly’s fingers in a gentle grip as he faced his audience again.

“I hef kept them hidden all this time. Denied who they vere and all they meant to me. This vas not right.” He waved his free hand at the pictures, his voice cracking as he went on, “I give them beck. To the vorld, to the light. For all to see, for all to share in the joy there vas. For my new family, the vones who took a foreign stranger to their hearts, I share this, so you vill know. So you might help me remember.”

Keit finally broke, and moved forward. He wrapped his arms around Elric in a fierce hug that let him know he was not only moved by what he said and proud of him for it, but that he was there for him as well. A moment later Orion’s large arms enfolded them both.

It was a near thing. The Prince nearly wept in front of all those gathered. He wrapped an arm around Keit, leaned back against Orion and battled his errant emotions long enough to say, “Please, stay, everyone. Enjoy the night. Enjoy each other. I shall rejoin you soon.”

When he moved to leave the room, head held high, the three people who had dared to touch him went, too, Lilly’s hand tucked back in the crook of his arm, Keit’s hand gripped firmly in his, Orion’s on his shoulder. In the den at the back of the house, he broke and cried in their arms but no one else was there to see.

Drew sank down into Vince’s lap. He needed a bit of holding after that. He felt so bad for Elric; even if it was so long ago, the pain was obviously still raw.

For a moment, Vincent had his hands full. Drew rarely cried in public but he trembled against Vincent’s chest and Jonathan sobbed beside him. He wasn’t the only one, of course. Sasha had climbed into Jerrett’s lap, face hidden against his neck while Anthony knelt at their feet with his head on Jerrett’s thigh. Brandon did his best to comfort Der, though the tears crept down his own cheeks, and Victor rocked Cody in his arms.

“Here now, poor boy.” Elisabet moved her chair beside Jonathan to take him in her arms. Poor motherless boys. She half expected to be pushed away but Jonathan collapsed against her, heaving with wrenching sobs. “Sh, sh…such pretty eyes shouldn’t shed so many tears. Hush, dear.”

Amazingly, Jonathan quieted for her and let her dry his tears.

“Now,” she said more crisply. “Der Prinz has put this evening together for his friends to celebrate the ones he loved, not to have them flood his house and ruin his carpets. Come help me, dear. People need drinks, they need to get up, to talk to each other.”

There was perhaps no better way to pull Jonathan out of hysteria. He got up, kissed Vincent and Drew and followed Elisabet around the room playing host.

Drew pulled in a deep breath to steady himself. “I like Der’s mom,” he said softly in Vince’s ear.

Nearby, Brandon silently concurred although he hadn’t heard Drew’s whispered sentiment. He got Der to dry his eyes and he stood sniffling with Bran’s arm around him.

Katya and Richard joined Elisabet and Jonathan to help get everyone settled.

In the den things were settling as well. Lilly soothed and comforted all three of the men gathered. She stood next to where Elric sat and kissed the top of his head, smoothing her hand over the white silk of his hair. “You did very well, my Prince.”

There was no sarcasm, no irony in his voice when he answered softly, “So, ja, I am glad you approve.” He leaned his head against the back of the sofa. “I feel so…drained. But so light. As if I am not connected properly. Perheps I am coming down vith something…”

Lilly sat down next to him, a smile lighting her face. “That would be what it feels like when you are healing, sir.”

“Is it?” The corner of his mouth twitched as he took her hand. “It feels rather more like being turned inside out.” With his free hand, he reached down to where Orion knelt at his feet to stroke through his hair. “Are you all right, liebchen? Perheps I should hef prepared you better.”

“I’m all right.” The big man nuzzled Elric’s Armani-clad thigh. “I was worried for you, my Prince. It…it’s hard to see you hurt.” They sat in silence for a few moments and then Orion lifted his head to look up at Lilly. “I think I know what I need to do now, though.”

“I thought you might,” she said, leaving it up to him whether he wanted to share what he wanted to do or not.

Mein herr, I’d like to…think things through first.” Orion came up on his knees to kiss his Dom’s cheek. “Before I say anything.”

“As you vish, my love,” Elric reassured him softly. “Vhatever you need, you shell hef.”

Orion thanked him and was pulled in for a soft, searching kiss, which might have caught fire if footsteps hadn’t sounded in the hall.

“Sir? I don’t want to intrude, I mean, I know I am, but I wanted to make sure you’re OK. Not that you need me, not with all the help you have, and it’s not–” Anthony broke off with a foolish, crooked smile when Lilly looked at him. “Um, hello…”

Elric tamped down on a chuckle. “I’m recovering, thenk you, my dear. You look so hendsome tonight. Even a tie. This is an occasion.”

Anthony ducked his head on a grin. “Jerrett likes it. I think he likes having a leash built into the outfit as much as he likes the look but, well, you know…” He trailed off again, blushing furiously.

Lilly watched the exchange quietly. Privately she was a little surprised. Had she met Anthony on his own she wouldn’t have thought he was a submissive, but then, he wasn’t ultra dominant either. Not with the way he blushed when he looked at her.

After a moment they all rose and left the den to rejoin the rest of the gathering. As they walked down the hall, Lilly braced herself. She avoided crowds usually. Not out of any kind of phobia, but because all the emotions one found in large groups played havoc with her own balance.

A steady, rhythmic thump came from ahead of them and Elric stopped as they rounded the corner to avoid running into Vincent.

“Ah, there you are,” Vincent said softly with a little shake of his head. “Sweet spirits, the things you never told me. You may as well prepare yourself. They will swarm you when you walk back in.”

“I am prepared, brüderlein, never fear.” Elric patted his shoulder and turned to Lilly. “My apologies, my dear. The young gallant to your left is Anthony Dupree, affectionately known to his friends as ‘Mad Anthony’ and this handsome vision is Vincent Lastrada, of whom you have heard me speak so often.”

Lilly inclined her head politely to Vincent in greeting. Anthony took her hand and brushed his lips across the back of her fingers in a courtly gesture.

Vincent’s expression remained unreadable as he studied her. Finally he murmured, “You are hataa’lii. A healer. Which Way do you follow?”

Unblinking blue eyes regarded him steadily, studying him just as he had studied her. A small smile touched her lips. “My training was not the most traditional, but would be considered the red path. My father was Lakota, I learned from him when I was very young.” This small bit of information she knew would actually tell Vincent a lot. The path of the red meant she was an herbalist and spiritualist. The Lakota were one of the eastern nations, so she was probably not from this area originally

Vincent’s smile transformed his face. “Welcome to California, elder sister. I haven’t spoken to one of the People, of any nation, in so long.”

“Thank you.” Lilly said graciously. She glanced at Elric and he inclined his head slightly as if to say she was free to go off if she wished. She walked beside Vincent as he returned to his comfortable high backed chair, talking amiably as they went. Vince had not missed the subtle byplay between them.

He had to wonder how it was that she reached the Prince, made him see that he needed to release this long held grief. He hesitated to ask, it seemed vaguely improper, but his curiosity was stirred and he finally did ask.

“I didn’t reach him. Orion did.” She said simply.

“Oh?” Vincent’s brow creased and then smoothed as realization hit. “Ah. I see. It’s always been one of his favorite teaching points. Never ask those who belong to you to do what you would not.”

He gazed across the room to where Sasha flung himself into Elric’s arms, more open about offering his condolences than some. “How are they doing, the three of them? That first day…oh, sweet gods…I thought my heart would break.”

“They are…healing.” She answered, her head tilted slightly in contemplation as she watched Elric, Orion, and Keit together. She turned her gaze to Vince, cerulean blue eyes seeming to peer right into him, past every shield and barrier he so carefully kept between himself and the world. “And how are you, and your loves doing? Are you better now?”

An automatic evasion was on Vincent’s lips when he stopped himself with a little sigh. “We are…healing,” he echoed softly. One hand rubbed his chest absently, recent memories constricting his lungs. “So many disasters heaped one atop the next. It feels as if we can finally catch our breath again.”

“Mmhm…” Lilly said, and averted her gaze, knowing she had disquieted him. “If you like, I have something that might help you breathe easier… literally, that is. Something that won’t make you jittery and tense and keep you up at night like the inhalers can.”

The long fingered hand stopped its restless motion and he let out a soft laugh. “That obvious, is it? Yes, gods, yes, if you have something that will ease these tight bands around my chest, I’d be eternally grateful.”

She nodded, the silk of her hair falling forward a bit. She lifted a hand to push it back.

“Do you plan on keeping the Prince’s lovely guest to yourself all evening, Vincent?” A deep rich voice with hints of amusement asked. Having been abandoned for the moment by both Anthony and Sasha, Jerrett had wandered over to meet the lovely girl that had more than half the room wondering how long a wait would be polite before making their move.

“It had occurred to me, yes, but I suppose that would be selfish,” Vincent answered softly. “Lilly, this is Jerrett Hawthorn.”

Lilly looked up, and up, at the man standing over them. He was not ‘looming’, or at least she didn’t think he was trying to, but she supposed the impression was from the way he sort of stood so straight and regal and looked down on nearly everyone. “Pleased to meet you, Mr. Hawthorn,” she said softly.

“The pleasure is mine, and please call me Jerrett.” he said, smiling his most winning smile. Despite the innate arrogance, he was still breathtakingly handsome and charming when he chose to be.

“Hey, handsome, you feeling all right?” A deep voice of a different timbre issued from Vincent’s opposite side. Der crouched by the chair to take Vincent’s hand in his. “I saw you rubbing.”

“I’m quite well, dearheart,” Vincent smiled and kissed his fingers. “And this, Lilly, is the dashing Derelict Schiller.”

Der looked up to meet those incredible eyes. “Hi,” he said eloquently.

A little smile lifted her lips, “Hello.” She replied, and couldn’t help thinking that for all Jerrett Hawthorn’s carefully exuded charm, Der, as she’d already heard his friends calling him, was twice as endearing.

Drew came up behind Jonathan as he handed out a last glass of champagne he’d been circulating with. He slid his arms around him and kissed the nape of his neck, smiling as he turned around to put his own arms around him. “Are you alright?” he asked softly.

Jonathan nodded, “Much better. How ‘bout you, sweetie?”

Drew gave a little shrug, but he nodded reassuringly. “You know, I was thinking… do you remember that episode of South Park, when all the boys started acting like grunting animals beating up on each other because one of the girls in their class had sprouted boobs?” He tilted his head slightly to where Vince, Jerrett, and Der were clustered around Lilly and David and Xavier were making their way over. “I keep having flashes of that every time I glance over there.” He snickered.

Jonathan laughed, causing several people to glance over. He didn’t care. “You’re not gonna get involved in the testosterone rush to piss on her beautiful leg?”

Drew looked almost startled by the question. “Are you kidding me? No way!” He said just a little too vehemently.

A little sound caught in Jonathan’s throat, then another, and he nearly choked on trying to swallow the guffaw that wanted out. He took Drew’s face between his hands and kissed him tenderly. “Christ, I love you. You’ve got to be the sweetest thing on earth.”

Drew unexpectedly felt a flush of heat at the tender kiss and Jonathan’s words. He melted inside and pressed closer, completely forgetting the roomful of people around them. Jonathan just had that effect on him. He kissed him back, just as tender and sweet, but the kiss lingered a bit longer.

A light feminine laugh drifted over to them and Drew glanced at the growing circle again. Lilly had laughed at something Xavier had said, which was not all that unusual. If the dark scowl on Jerrett’s face was any indication it was something at his expense. Drew shook his head, amused. “Do you want to take bets on which one she picks?” he whispered in Jonathan’s ear.

“We should get two choices, since it’s such a broad field,” Jonathan said with a too-serious look of concentration. “Now, if she has any taste at all, she’ll pick Vincent. But he’ll gracefully and regretfully decline, so I have to count him out of the running. Hmm…there’s beauty over there and brains and drop dead, charming dominance, grace and wit and…I bet she picks the goofball.”

Drew was just as carefully going over the selection although silently. Xavier had made her laugh, that tinkling bells sound that was so sweet he nearly heard a collective sigh from the group of admirers. And Xav looked exceedingly hot this evening… ok, stop checking him out. Was Jon right maybe? Der was just as good at coaxing a laugh, but he was more mature than Xav. She was so quiet she might appreciate that. Or was he just being biased because it was Der and Drew couldn’t see anyone resisting Der?

His eyes went to Jerrett and then back to Lilly. She had politely cut her laugh short and she was looking at him, those bright, bright blue eyes still sparkling. The dangerous, arrogant prick? “She’s gonna pick the most dominant, if any of them. I say Jerrett.” Drew said in a hushed voice to Jonathan.

“She’s a fool if she does,” Jonathan growled and then shrugged. “But there’s no accounting for taste, I guess.” They watched a moment longer, Drew’s head nestled on Jonathan’s shoulder, until Jonathan chuckled. “Oh, now, there’s a wrench in the works for you.”

In a black kilt, leggings and dress boots, Chrysalis slid through the larger bodies to claim the chair next to Lilly since all the admirers were standing. Chrys took her hand, obviously making introductions, and lifted Lilly’s fingers to kiss them.

“Shame on you both. Putting bets on a girl like that.” A voice scolded from behind Jonathan and Drew, making them jump a little, although his voice had been as low as their own. “And you’re both wrong.” Keit said, the scolding tone giving way to amusement. “Now, Drew if you would be so kind, go wrap yourself around Der and get him back to Brandon. He’s looking a little bewildered over there. And Jonathan, please go and distract Xavier before Jerrett decides he’d rather have him and we have an all out brawl. I’ll go get Jerrett.”

“Um, ok. But why?” Drew asked.

“Because, honey. She’s going to want to talk to Chrysalis and the others are just going to frustrate her.”

Jonathan’s forehead crinkled in an endearing way. “So the boys are making all that fuss over her and she’s gay? Um, or maybe not…since I still don’t know about Chrys.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Dammit, I’m confused.”

“No, as far as I can tell she prefers men, at least I’ve never seen her with a woman, but then I’ve never asked.” Keit gave a little wave of his hand. “I just think she’ll be interested in Chrys, that’s all. Now scoot.” Keit headed off to gather Jerrett up, which was a bit of a task, but as soon as he discreetly got his attention over to Sasha and Anthony, who were looking awfully cuddly together, it was easier to move him off in that direction.

Drew moved toward Der and got him talking about music, although he definitely seemed distracted during the conversation.

Another silvery sound caressed over the gathering and Drew nudged Der gently, nodding to how Lilly laughed at something Chrys whispered in her ear.

“Oh…um…” he cleared his throat and swept Lilly a courtly bow. “Such a joy meeting you, Ms. Lilly. But I do need to steal Vincent away to hash through some graphics questions.”

Vincent arched a brow. “Now?”

“Yes, now. You know how my sieve brain works. If I don’t talk to you when I’m thinking of it, I’ll forget.”

Then Vincent caught the hint as well and rose to follow Der to a quiet corner across the room while Jonathan wrapped his arms around Xavier and distracted him quite thoroughly.

Lilly noted the tactical scattering of the circle that had formed and silently thanked Keit. She smiled at Chrysalis. “Keit must think highly of you, you’re the only one he didn’t chase away.”

Chrys chuckled. “The Prince is the undisputed master of his house but Keit is what keeps the household running.”

Lilly’s eyes found Keit for a moment and then came back to Chrysalis. “He’s happier now.” Her lovely heart shaped face tilted slight, regarding Chrys intently for a moment. “You have…unusual energy.” She said softly. “You are sensitive to… things, no?”

Chrys looked at their joined hands, then back up with a little smile and a wink, whispering, “I see dead people.”

Lilly smiled softly as if something had just clicked into place. “Ah, you are a Spiritwalker.” She searched her eyes for a moment, trying to determine something else. “One foot in this world, one in another. Neither one or the other…” She blinked and took a breath, looking down as if embarrassed that she might have intruded where she was not welcome. “Do the spirits trouble you?” she asked quietly, hoping she hadn’t offended him.

A long pause followed where Chrys regarded her carefully, that brittle, fragile look Syren knew so well creeping in. The smile returned on a little sigh. “Not…usually. I know they’re there. Most of the time they go about their business and I go about mine. It’s only when there’s a terrible concentration of negative energy. Those frighten me sometimes, when there’s hate and rage and violent intentions. They tell me I’ve had…seizures…”

Across the room, Syren wrapped an arm around Keit. “You’re such a little manipulator, you know that?”

Keit gave her an apologetic look and nodded towards Lilly. “Does this bother you?”

“Watching Chrys courting? Gods, no. It’s not something I get to see often. Lilly’s the first person Chrys has approached in, oh, I can’t even tell you how long.”

Lilly’s brows pulled together in a tiny frown. “You can keep them out, if you want. Do you know how?”

“I do.” Chrys nodded. “But sometimes people come to me. They need help. I…try not to say yes anymore but they can be so desperate, so frightened. It’s hard to turn them away.”

Lilly’s small smile turned rueful. “I know just what you mean.”

Warmth lit up Chrys’ gray-green eyes. “Somehow I knew you would.”


Xavier followed Jonathan off a ways from the mingling group of people gathered. A glance told him Dave had wandered over to talk to Vic and Cody. When he looked back Jonathan was leaning close and Xavier gave him a soft smile. “You didn’t stay long enough for me to say good morning the other night.”

“You,” Jonathan tapped the end of his nose. “Sleep way too late for me. And besides, I had to go get myself in trouble at home.”

“I do not sleep too late, you just get up way too early.” Xavier said. “I’m almost afraid to ask… what did you get in trouble for?”

Jonathan tried to look serious and contrite. It almost worked. “I surprised the lord of the manor in bed with another lover. I was…caught off guard and he was very annoyed with me. So he gave me to his new lover and forgave me because I’m so beautiful.”

One arm looped lightly around Jonathan’s waist Xav gave him a knowing look. “Mm, so you pitched a hissy fit and Vince figured the best way to shut your mouth was to put a dick in it. Such a smart guy, that Vince.”

Jonathan poked him in the ribs. “So crude.” He tsked.

Xavier grinned and leaned closer to his ear. “You like it, don’t try and pretend.”

“Doesn’t mean you’re not crude. And it wasn’t in my mouth, anyway, so there.” His green eyes danced with amusement, wondering why Xav didn’t ask the obvious question about who it had been.

The answer to that of course was that Xav had already guessed who it must be. Vince wasn’t likely just to pick up a total stranger, and the only one close to them right now that wasn’t already sharing their bed was Der’s new dreamboat.

“Well, I owe you breakfast sometime anyway,” Xav said. “I didn’t want you to have to sleep on the couch.” Which was his way of also saying he was sorry things hadn’t exactly gone as planned with Dave coming home early.

“I know that, babe,” Jonathan said softly. “Don’t worry about it.” He gave Xav a little kiss before he moved off to talk to Elric.


Drew stepped out into the hall and looked down toward the end where he saw Xavier step into the bathroom. He walked down the hall and leaned up against the opposite wall, arms crossed and hands cupping his elbows while he waited for Xavier to emerge. A few moments later when the door opened and Xav looked up and smiled at him he almost lost his nerve. He took a deep breath. “Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?”

Xavier took in Drew’s stance, noted the slightly nervous tone and determined expression and thought, uh-oh. His smile didn’t fade but his eyes took on a slightly more guarded cast. “Sure, sweetheart. What’s on your mind?”

Drew tilted his head, indicating they should move somewhere more private and Xavier followed him down the hall a ways further. They stepped through an open door into the now empty den.

“Please don’t tell me you’re secretly in love with me and want to run away. That might complicate things,” Xavier joked.

Drew didn’t even crack a smile, and Xavier had to wonder how bad this was going to be.

“Xav…I don’t want to stir up any shit, but can you… couldn’t you just leave Jonathan alone?” There, he said it.

Xavier blinked at him, for once no immediate response coming to mind. Then the surprise settled into confusion. “Um…ok. Drew, what’s this about?”

“Nothing. I just…just don’t want you taking him home again, ok?”

Xavier’s expression softened a bit. It probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do, because he could tell Drew was a little upset, but he couldn’t resist teasing him a little. “Well honey, if you’re jealous I could ask Vince if you can come with us, too.”

Drew rolled his eyes. “I’m not jealous.”

Xav grinned. “Sounds like it to me.”

“I’m not.” Drew said, exasperated. “Look, just don’t, ok? Leave him alone. Don’t you have enough to choose from?”

Xavier arched a brow at him. While he was perfectly willing to grant his request if it was bothering him, now he felt like being contrary. “Drew, what’s the problem? You didn’t mind before.”

Drew stared at him for a moment, wishing now that he hadn’t gotten into this. He sighed. “He came home after being with you and was so upset he started snapping at everyone and was just an emotional mess. I don’t want him upset like that, and I don’t want you to use him like that.”

Xavier went very still, his expression frozen and for a moment they just stared at each other. Drew finally looked away, feeling uneasy. “Xav…”

“Fine.” Xavier cut him off tersely. “I’ll stay away from him. Happy?”

“Xav, I didn’t mean…”

“I said fine.” Xav snapped. “Get lost, Drew.”

Drew looked at him again, thought about saying something more and thought better of it looking at his shuttered eyes and hard expression. “Okay…thanks,” he murmured and turned quickly to leave. He hurried back down the hall.

“Yeah, sure. No fuckin problem,” Xavier muttered to the empty room. Instead of going back out to rejoin the others, he crossed the room to the window and looked out over the back garden. He crossed his arms and leaned against the window enclosure. He hadn’t used Jonathan. Not anymore than Jonathan had used him. They both wanted each other and went off to go fuck like mad and then return to their normally scheduled lives. What was the big deal?

Sitting in the corner with Der and Brandon, Vincent hadn’t missed all the comings and goings. When Drew reappeared, looking fetching in his suit but as if someone had just slipped ice down his back, Vincent waved him over.

“My kestrel.” He waited until Drew’s hand settled in his. “Someone has upset you.”

Not for the first time, not even the hundredth, Drew cursed his inability to keep whatever he was feeling off his face. No matter how hard he tried, if he was angry, or upset, or horny it was like a beacon turned on to broadcast exactly what he was feeling. He leaned close to Vince’s ear, knowing already that saying ‘nothing’ was wrong would not be accepted as an answer. “Can we talk about it later? It’s not a big deal.”

“All right, my love. As you wish.” Vincent pulled Drew into his lap and wrapped his arms around him.

Victor had already had enough of socializing. True, he was fond of almost everyone there but after Elric’s memoriam, he felt raw and emotionally drained. Not really the right state for him to be in to engage people in light conversation. He left Cody chatting with Quinn and wandered down the hall for a few minutes of quiet…

…and came upon a too familiar scene. Xav with his arms wrapped tight around himself, staring out the window.

“Xav? Sweets? What’s wrong?”

“Huh? Oh, hi Vic.” Xavier said, looking up, obviously coming back from somewhere distant. “What’s up?”

“What’s the matter?”

Xav lifted one slender shoulder in a shrug. “Nothing. Just thinking.”


“Mm, yes, I see that much.” Vic stepped over to stand beside him and share the view of the garden.


This time both shoulders went up, the shrug a little more defensive and his arms still wrapped around him tightly. “Really, Vic. It’s nothing. I don’t want to… I don’t want any kinda problems stirred up, especially not here and not today. Anything like that happens and you know everyone will think it’s all my fault, right?”


“Well, it generally is,” Vic answered deadpan. He turned to Xavier and opened his arms when his teasing fell flat. “Come here, sweets. God. Telling me what’s wrong isn’t ‘stirring up’ anything. There’s no one else here. Just you and me.”


Xav hesitated only a moment, and then leaned closer, letting Vic’s strong arms close around him. It felt so good he relaxed a little more against him, turning his face to lay his cheek against his chest and suddenly he felt his throat close up like he was about to cry or something. It was ridiculous. There was nothing to cry about.


“Drew asked me to stay away from Jonathan, that’s all.” He murmured, feeling like he was six years old tattling on the class bully, which was even more ridiculous because it was Drew, who couldn’t bully his way out of a paper bag if he had to. “He thinks I used him. Dave did, too. And since Drew said he was upset when he went home, Jonathan thinks so, too.”


“There now, that wasn’t so hard,” Vic murmured into the top of his head as he held that lean body tight. “Though I do think you’re jumping to conclusions. Evidently so did Drew. Jonathan gets upset about a lot of things. Most of them having to do with things he doesn’t want to remember. It may or may not have had anything to do with you.”


He stroked Xavier’s hair. “And this whole ‘using people’ nonsense you keep getting so hung up on…everyone uses other people. To greater or lesser degrees. I think what upsets you is that you’re not always quite sure why.”


Xavier frowned slightly but he didn’t pull away. Even if Jonathan hadn’t gotten upset because of him, and even if Drew was making assumptions, that didn’t explain why Dave had questioned his motives for bringing Jonathan home. He remembered Dave quite venomously accusing him of using that guy they’d ended up picking up on the ski trip. He’d pretty much accused him of the same thing again, albeit more gently this time.


He lifted his head and looked up at Vic. “Well then why are they all acting like I did something wrong? I didn’t do anything wrong, I followed all the rules, and I still get treated like a fuck up.”


Victor took his face between his hands, his dark eyes sad and tired. “Has Jonathan said you upset him?”


Xavier shook his head.


“And has David implied, said, or acted in any way that makes you think he is anything but concerned for you?”


“That’s just it, Vic. He’s concerned.” Xav blinked and the teardrops clinging to his lashes finally fell. He took a ragged breath. “He goes out and finds someone else and it’s a mistake, he just let his libido get in the way. I bring home someone he knows, someone he’s ok with, and it’s gotta be because there something wrong with me. Like I wanna get back at him, or I wanna drown everything out with sex.”


“Xav…” Vic pulled him close again and let him cry. The problem was that with Xavier, both of those things were probably true on some level. But that was an issue for his therapist, not for a well-meaning friend. “You might recall that he tried to kill himself over his ‘mistake’, my sweet. It’s not as if he just shrugged it off. And if he worries over your motives, it’s partly because his own can get pretty tangled.”




Drew put his head on Vince’s shoulder. He was silent for a while, watching the room. As the minutes started to slip by and Xavier didn’t reappear he thought about getting up and going to find him. He kept thinking about how he looked, eyes slightly hooded, a blank stare. He’d thought Xav had been pissed, but…maybe he’d been hurt. The more he thought about it the more he fidgeted and chewed on his bottom lip and fidgeted some more. Finally, he couldn’t stand it anymore and heaved a sigh. “I think I hurt Xavier’s feelings,” he blurted out to Vince.


“Ah.” Vincent’s hand stroked his back in soothing circles. “And why would you do such a thing, my love?”


“I-I didn’t mean to.” Drew said, his cheeks heating now with shame. “I just…I asked him to leave Jonathan alone.” He said so softly even Vince had to strain to hear.


“Drew, my darling, my own…” Vincent kissed his cheek with a little sigh. “If such a thing were necessary, who do you think would be the most appropriate person to say it?”


“I know…I know. But, I wanted him to leave him alone. Jonathan doesn’t think he did anything wrong, and you don’t think he did anything wrong, but I know something wasn’t right, I know Jonathan came home upset and he felt like Xav used him or something. I just didn’t want him to see him upset again.”


Vincent wondered if another Dom would have been angry at such a breach of authority. Probably. Most likely. He simply felt…what? A little sad, a bit tired, perhaps. He smoothed a curl out of Drew’s eyes. “I love you,” he murmured. “I love that you want to slay dragons for Jonathan. To protect him and keep his heart safe. But perhaps if Jonathan was hurt by what Xavier did, it should be Jonathan who says so.”


Drew slid his arms around Vince’s neck and buried his face at the side of his throat. “I’m sorry, Vince.”


“My love, I’m not angry with you. And you’ve done nothing to hurt me.”


Drew pulled back to look at him. “Should I go… should I say something to him?”


Vincent kissed him softly. “I suppose that depends on what you say.”


“I’m sorry? I didn’t mean it? Please don’t be a bitch and snap my head off?” Drew cleared his throat. “Well, not that last part.”


“Not a bad start.” Vincent gave him a little smile and a nudge. “Though, the last I looked, I’m not Xavier.”


“Thank god,” Drew said under his breath. “Or we’d be in big trouble.” He kissed Vince and rose, taking a deep breath as if girding himself, and headed back out and down the hall where he’d last seen Xav.


The door to the den was still open and Drew stepped in, at first only seeing Vic’s broad back and just as he thought he’d ask him if he’d seen Xav, he turned slightly and saw that he had him in his arms. He also saw that Xav had his hand up over his face and his shoulders were hunched and… oh, god, Drew felt about as low as he could get. Damn.


His face crumpled and drained of color as he moved closer. Both Vic and Xav heard him and turned at the same time. “Xav… I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it.”


Xavier swiped an arm over his eyes and glared back at him. “I told you it was fine, Drew. Just go away.”


“No, it’s not fine. I didn’t have any right to speak for Jonathan. I’m really sorry.”


“Oh, so the first time you weren’t really sorry?” Xavier said, just to be spiteful.


Drew took it in stride, though. “I meant it both times. Please Xav, it was a stupid, shitty thing to say. I was a total jerk to even bring it up. I know you wouldn’t hurt Jonathan on purpose.”


There was a tense few moments and then Xavier sighed. “Yeah. You’re a stupid jerk. Aren’t we all.” He lifted his arm and made a beckoning gesture until Drew came over and he put his arm around his shoulders, bringing him into the circle of Vic’s arms as well.


Victor heaved a shaky sigh as he wrapped them both close. This better be the end of the drama tonight. I can’t take any more. “Stupid jerks or not, our hearts are in the right place.” He kissed the top of Xavier’s head and then Drew’s. “You’re good boys. There are reasons why people love you that have nothing to do with the physical.”


He gave them a few minutes since they both clung to him fiercely. “Now, then. I know several people who might get worried and come looking for the two of you. And here I am with you snuggled in my arms. From a territorial standpoint, how do you think that would look?”


“Dave would want to know if anything was going on, then watch, or join.” Xavier said without batting an eye.


Drew nodded. “Yep. Jonathan too.”


“Hm, four beautiful boys, all for me,” Vic said with a wistful sigh. “Nice thought, maybe another night.” He gave them each a little smack on the butt and sent them on their way.


Drew and Xavier walked back in together, but separated almost immediately. Xav, because he wanted to go see Dave, and Drew because he saw Vince and Jonathan talking and walked over to them.


Neither one asked if everything was settled since the entrance together said it all. Jonathan wrapped his arms around Drew and pulled him close, though he murmured to Vincent, “Look, Vince, my own knight in shining. Can we keep him?”


Dave turned from where he was talking with Ethan. “Hey, sweets! What’s–” He broke off and took Xavier’s face between his hands. “Love? You’ve been…” His eyes hardened as he asked, “Who made you cry?”


“Nearly everyone here’s been crying. It was a sad thing.” Xavier evaded.


Dave’s eyes told him a storm was brewing and he wasn’t buying it. Xavier sighed. “Not the time or the place, hon. And I’m alright, so please, later. OK?”


“I don’t much fucking care about time and place,” Dave growled, so low no one else could hear. “Someone’s hurt you and he’s gonna pay for it.”


“Christ, Dave,” Xav muttered under his breath. He looked around at the room full of people. “C’mon then.” He took Dave’s hand and led him out. He headed toward the conservatory where at least it would be private and quiet. They walked and he told him about what Drew had said, and that he’d already apologized.


Drew…well, that put a damper on Dave’s fire. He listened, wide-eyed, and slid swiftly from ferocity to pensiveness. He stopped at a bench and sank down, staring at his hands.


“Well, I guess I can’t really slug the little guy. I mean, not again.” He looked up at Xavier who still stood, arms wrapped around himself. “Especially since…it wasn’t just Drew who made you cry, was it?”


Xav sank down next to him and pulled his heels up onto the edge of the bench, wrapping his arms around his legs so he could rest his chin on his knees. “No. I guess not,” he finally said.


“And here I was all set to go after that Hawthorn creep. I was so sure it was him.” Dave rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “And it’s me instead.”


He let out a hollow bark of laughter that made Xav wince, surged up and started pacing, his hands scrubbing through his hair. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…dammit, Xav, even when I’m trying to do the right things, I hurt you.”


Xavier closed his eyes, suddenly very tired. “Yeah, and you’ll probably do it again. And I’ll probably do something to hurt you again. It’s just how things go.” He opened his eyes again. “It’s not your fault, Dave. Maybe Vic is right. Maybe I get so upset ‘cause you hit too close to the truth and I just don’t see it right away. Or don’t want to see it.” He stayed just as he was, arms wrapped tightly around his up drawn legs. For a moment or two he felt like he was going to cry again but he swallowed it down and blinked any tears back. He didn’t want to upset Dave anymore than he was.


“Xav…don’t…” Dave got out in a choked voice and flung himself back onto the bench to wrap Xavier in a fierce embrace. “Don’t shut down, swallow everything whole. I’m here… I’m here… I love you so. I worry…I’m sorry…I can’t help it. I’ve spent most of my life worrying. And sometimes the stuff you do is gonna mean something and sometimes… sometimes a banana is just, you know, a banana.”


Xavier put his head on Dave’s shoulder, his face pressed against the side of his throat. He made a strangled sound, half chuckle, half sob, at what Dave said. He took a shuddering breath. When he lifted his head, he brought a hand to Dave’s cheek, fingers caressing lightly. He touched his lips to Dave’s in a tender kiss, and another, softly seeking more.


A little moan, as much relief as desire, rose from Dave’s chest. He cupped the back of Xav’s head and tilted for a better angle, tongue caressing Xavier’s lips in a silent plea. Xav opened for him, their tongues caressing slowly. There was no desperation, no guilty, hurried spark of lust. Instead, the tender heat grew slowly, building on soft touches and sweet murmurs.


“I love you…” Xav murmured between breathless, heated kisses.


Dave pulled back, his eyes wandering over the beauty of Xavier’s face. “And I love you, sweets.” He combed through Xav’s hair. “But you were right about time and place. It does seem kinda…disrespectful to take you here, in his orchid garden, after his eulogy and everything. Maybe we should make it an early evening, though, yeah? And when we get home, you can do whatever you want with me.”


“Anything I want, huh?” Xav said, his voice taking on that husky edge that Dave knew so well. He kissed a soft line of kisses down his jaw until his lips touched the base of Dave’s ear. “How about if I strip you naked, tie you down to the bed…” He breathed in a soft whisper. “And then paddle you until you’re brick red with a plug deep inside you…would you like that?”


Dave’s head fell back on a dizzy moan as all the blood rushed from his head. “Christ… yes…oh, yes.”


Xav took his earlobe between his teeth and nipped him, hard. “Let’s go back then, have to be polite and stay for a while, no?”


“Yeah,” Dave managed on a gulped breath and straightened his tie. When he stood, he held out both hands for Xav with that heartbreaking little-boy smile. “Do I get to have the gag, too?”


Xavier slow smile was full of seduction and heat as he slipped his hands in Dave’s and stood, but he shook his head slowly from side to side. “Oh, no… I want to hear you scream.”


“”K.” Dave laughed. “But you’ll have to explain things to the cops when the neighbors call them.”


Xav chuckled. “Well, maybe just a little gag.”


“Oh, good,” Dave stage-whispered to the nearest orchid. “He does love me.”


Back in the massive dining room, Orion kissed his Dom’s cheek and left his side to wander across the room. Ethan stood talking to Cody, with Quinn tucked under his arm, Cricket lying at their feet. Orion crouched down to pet the pretty dog. He did love dogs, though he knew the Prince would never allow one to live with them. Too messy.


Cricket thumped his tail but otherwise stayed where he was, giving Orion’s hand a little nuzzle and a lick of greeting.


“Keit told me you hand-carved the frames for the pictures of the Prince’s family, Orion. They are really beautifully done,” Ethan said with the warm appreciation of someone who understood working with their hands and the genuine craftsmanship involved.


Orion raised his head, a hint of anxiety lurking in his bright blue eyes. “Thank you, sir. Could I…speak to you a moment?”


Ethan’s smile was kindness itself. “Of course. Here, or is it private?”


“I…suppose it doesn’t make much difference.” Orion shifted to one knee, his gaze returning to Cricket as he went on, unaware how much the supplicant he looked. “Your house, sir…it has beach access, doesn’t it?”


“Yes, it does.”


“I’d like to….to use it as a staging point. For…” He heaved a breath. “For Jake’s farewell.”


“Sure you can, Orion. Is there anything Quinn and I can do to help?”


Orion shook his head, struggling. Just saying Jake’s name still caused him to break down. Dear God, would it always be that way? “Not until then,” he finally forced out. “I may need help…carrying something.”


“All right.” Ethan said. “You just let us know when.”


The little gathering began to break up around ten. Dave and Xavier had left first, which was a little surprising, but Der had seen the embers smoldering in Dave’s eyes and decided it wasn’t surprising after all.


Now he stood in the front hall with his mother, just the two of them, wishing her a good night.


“Do you really like him, Mutti?” he asked softly, feeling twelve years old again.


“Oh, he’ll do, I suppose,” she said with that too-serious face. When he rolled his eyes, she laughed. “Yes, yes, I like him. He’s able to laugh at himself. And he adores you. Much better than that T–”


“Don’t, Mom, please,” Der interrupted softly. “No comparisons.”


She leaned in to kiss his cheek. “I’m sorry, sweetpea. If this is more than just a fling, I’m very pleased.”


“You think Papa would have liked him?” Der couldn’t help the question.


“I think he would have preferred you pick the nice, handsome vet.” She smiled at his exasperated sound. “He would have teased you and grumbled about this and that, but, yes, I think he would have liked Brandon very much.”


Der stood at the door and waved as she drove off, a warm glow around his heart.




Chapter 288 – Thor (2)

They decided it would be better for Vincent to come to Katya’s rather than take Thor to see him.

“Vince, I know you’re only trying to keep me safe, but Orion’s my friend, too. I want to see him,” Drew said.

“My kestrel, I would prefer you stay here. He’s relived a trauma which destroyed him once, and he’s already lashed out at one person. We don’t know what more discovery will do, if he will slip back into being Orion, or if he will snap entirely.”

“He won’t,” Drew said obstinately. “I want to be there for him.”

Vincent sighed. “I know you do, but I do not know if that would be best for either of you. Drew, you remind him of Jake. Your presence might trigger something in him–”

“Or it might not,” Drew interrupted. He came closer, put his hands on Vince’s shoulders and squeezed gently, looking into those dark, fathomless eyes. “Vince, stop treating me like a child. I’m not made out of glass. You can’t protect me from the world. He’s my friend, and he’s hurt, and I want to be there for him.”

“You’re three weeks out of surgery, my love. If you were to hit your head…” He stopped. “Or step off a curb and get hit by a bus, be struck by lightening, attacked by a rabid raccoon…” He sighed. “Are you sure I can’t simply keep you inside forever? I’ll build you a gilded cage, design you outfits made of Kevlar?”

They both chuckled and Drew cupped his face for a soft kiss, then picked up the case off the floor that contained Vince’s laptop and they went to Katya’s.

Naturally, since Drew was going, Jonathan couldn’t be left behind. His arguments had been far more vehement and dramatic than Drew’s but in the end, he got his way as well. Vincent shook his head, wondering where his permissive mood had sprung from.


The shaking refused to stop. It was like walking backwards through some strange, gray swamp. The present had become as murky as the past had once been. Thor tried to remember the names of the people around him, where he had been the week or the day before, but it kept sliding sideways out of reach.

The Dragon Prince arrived with his Butterfly and his Coyote. He knew them, was glad to see them, but the familiarity had no connections at the moment. Backwards. He needed to start from the point it had all fallen apart and perhaps he could venture forwards again.

His gaze settled on the white dragon. “How much do you know about neutrinos?”

“A bit,” came the velvet-soft reply. “I’ve read as much as I could find on them.”

Thor picked up a pad of paper and pen from the coffee table and began writing in frantic spurts. “Energy…in vast quantities…just beyond reach…as if they populated a parallel universe…”

The Dragon leaned closer, then pulled himself over to sit beside him on the sofa. Poor dragon, with clipped wings, numbers seemed to help him fly. Thor understood that. He went on, even as he reached the point in the equations where there would be no real solution, only the false one they had forced on him.

“Cerberus…they called it Cerberus…”

“Who did?”

“The government people, the military people…it was their project.” He stopped writing, that terrible point of fracture reached. “An attempt to create…negative space…to harness neutrinos…for what purpose they never said.”

“Probably not to grow food for fluffy bunnies,” Coyote muttered.

Thor looked at Coyote, trying to understand what he meant. “Most likely not. Destruction not growth.”

“Right. You boys play. I’ll be in the kitchen.” Coyote wandered out shaking his head.


Jonathan found Katya staring at the open fridge. “Wondering how you’ll feed him, Ms. Kat?”

Her snort was amused but the set of her face, the way she held herself, spring-tight, told him she was angry and tried to hide it. He guessed at the reason. It bugged him a little, too, but having sat there and watched the disconnected way Orion…Thor was processing things, he also thought he understood the why.

“You know,” he began cautiously. “I think he’ll have a really bad moment when he realizes what he’s done. Don’t think he even knows yet he hurt the Prince. Don’t think it’s gotten onto his static-y radar yet. Like he’s trying to think his way back again to join the rest of us and hasn’t made it here.”

Katya selected an apple and turned toward him, letting the door swing closed. “Jonathan, do not try to reason me out of a bad mood.” She scolded him, but without any real heat. She set the apple on the cutting board, drew the largest knife from the block, and hacked it in two. She picked up one half and offered it to him, “Apple?”

He was smart enough not to refuse her, whether he wanted it or not. She took a bite of her own half and chewed thoughtfully. Finally she said, “I know he doesn’t realize yet. Which is why I haven’t said anything about it, and won’t.” Yet, her tone implied. She looked down at the piece of fruit, and although the ire was still there on the surface, a glimmer of something profoundly sad flickered across her face for a moment, and vanished. “How horrible to live with a fear so long, and then have it happen exactly as you’d feared it would,” she said, not adding how her own heart ached for Elric and what he must be suffering.

“Yes, ma’am,” Jonathan agreed softly, and then took a little bite of his apple. “You know I adore the Prince. I’d do anything for him. Doesn’t mean I can’t see both sides. Thing is, just because it’s happened and everybody involved is hurting, doesn’t mean it’s over. That man in your living room…”

He pointed with the apple and fought against swallowing hard at the look Katya had fixed on him. “That man isn’t quite Orion anymore. True. But that’s not Thor Heimdahl on your sofa either.”

“What do you mean?” her eyes narrowed.

“I found video of Heimdahl online. Amazing what you can find on You Tube. Anyway, it was this interview for an online science journal. That man in the video acted like he owned the world. The kind of man who’s always right and knows what he wants and everybody else better get the hell out of the way. Reminded me a little of Vic, actually. The man we have here isn’t him. Or he is, but he’s also Orion and he’s also something new, I think. He’ll have to figure out who. Doesn’t mean he’s stopped loving the Prince all of the sudden, though. Everybody’s made that assumption but it’s way too early to call.”

Katya poked him in the ribs. “And you, my sweet, have made the assumption that ‘everybody’s’ assumed. I know he might have even more regrets soon. If I didn’t think that I would have thrown him out already.”

Jonathan gave her a skeptical look that said she would have done no such thing. Katya composed her features into serious lines and refused to look at him until they both chuckled.


Drew sat on the chair beside the couch and listened to Orion and Vince discuss stuff that only vaguely made any sense. He wasn’t really listening to the words being said as much as he was observing the conversation. Orion… Thor. No, Orion. he knew him as Orion, he would think of his as Orion, even if he called him by his other name. Orion gestured animatedly and spoke in a quick concise manner even when he wasn’t entirely straight on his thoughts.

It was a little disturbing. Like a Pod Person had taken him over. The Orion he knew hardly gestured at all, when he did it was very precise movements, as if he must think before every action. For such a large man he was soft spoken, and even if he didn’t always make total sense, he was thoughtful. This Orion ran down verbal avenues like a truck out of control, slammed on the brakes and took off in another direction seemingly at random. Drew had heard him speak more in the last twenty minutes than probably the entire time he’d known him.

The changes were more than just speech and mannerisms. It was something harder to define, more a feeling for a person than an actual thing he could put his finger on. There was a lack of…of deference to him. It wasn’t that he spoke forcefully, it was obvious he knew when he was right, impatient if Vincent didn’t immediately understand what he was saying. He’d glanced at Drew once, without warmth or much recognition. His personality was totally different.

A part of him was happy for Orion. This was after all a breakthrough for him, he would have a past, however painful, and an identity that had been denied to him. Another part of him was completely dismayed. This was not Orion, not the Orion he knew, and if this person stayed he would probably never see the Orion he knew again. He was sitting right in front of him, and yet he might as well have died.

At a pause in the conversation Drew finally spoke. “Is it so important that you figure out exactly what went wrong right now?” he asked quietly. “I mean, you know something did go wrong… maybe you should try and remember what happened right after that.”

Thor shot him a look so full of anguish, Drew regretted the question. “I know what happened after that. He died because of the something that went wrong. My Jake died screaming.”

Vincent put a gentle hand on his arm. “We know. We’re so sorry. For your loss. For his terrible pain. You tried to save him, though. You went into the flames to try to bring him out. What happened then?”

“I think…” Tears crept down Thor’s face again. “No…I remember…getting as far as the hall. The rescue workers came. Too late for him. They…I still…they took him from me…”

They had to wait while he broke down completely again, sobbing uncontrollably with his head on his knees.

Drew moved over to the couch, sat on Orion’s other side, and put his arms around him. Changed or not, he was still a friend, and another human being in pain. He rubbed his back in soothing circles and kissed one broad shaking shoulder. “I’m so sorry…” He murmured.

Thor wiped his eyes on his sleeve, his chest heaving, and stared at the beautiful boy beside him. Butterfly… “Drew?” he whispered. Yes, this was Drew, his dear friend, the first face he could focus on clearly that day. He wrapped his arms around Drew’s waist and buried his face in his lap, somehow able to take the comfort in his arms he hadn’t been able to accept from anyone else.

Vincent kept his anxious thoughts to himself. Orion would have died before he could have hurt Drew. He had to trust Thor was still the same man in that respect. So far he behaved and treated Drew gently and the physical contact calmed him, his desperate anguish reverting back to quiet misery.

“What then, Thor?” Vincent asked quietly. “What happened after?”

“After…there was darkness.” Thor’s deep voice drifted up, muffled by Drew’s lap. “A white room…hospital, probably. People asked things. The meaning kept slipping away. Like trying to talk to someone from the bottom of a swamp. I…left. And went somewhere else.”

“Where did you go?”

Thor’s answer came after a heavy silence. “I’m not sure. A bus? Was there a bus? And how did I get on? A city, at some point. I don’t know where. Alleys and garbage and shivering in the cold. I think…I don’t think I had shoes. Men attacked me. The world flooded with red. Someone saw…watched me fight them off. How many, I don’t know.”

Drew continued to stroke his hands soothingly over Orion’s back. His throat felt tight and he had to swallow hard. As hard as it was for Orion to remember what had happened to Jake, he couldn’t imagine that remembering the next part of his life was going to be any easier for him. Elric only had a tiny bit of it, but it was enough to know that what had been done to him, what he’d been forced to do, was beyond inhuman.

“The rage faded. They came to me when I was exhausted. Promised safety and shelter. I went in the back of a van. A long way…it seemed a long way. When we arrived they chained me to the wall…to protect me, they said.” Thor’s voice was hardly a whisper now, hollow and bereft.

“When I did what they said, they fed me. When I refused, they came with whips and clubs. They trained me to the bell. To fight for them. I…don’t remember much from the ring. The bell. The rage. Someone dragged out after the bell rang again.”

Anyone else would have said ‘you don’t have to tell us all this’. Vincent and Drew knew better. They waited through each pause, offering physical comfort but no interruptions.

He heaved a breath. “I must have won most times. Rewards came. Blankets. A cot. Companions. They brought girls until they saw I had no interest. Then they brought a boy. Very pretty. Terrified. They told him the only reason he wasn’t beaten and thrown into the street was he was there to please me. They stood and watched while he came to me, trembling. Touched me. Took me in his mouth. They left when I came. He cried. I never molested him. Never threatened him. Shared my food with him. Soon he slept in my cot instead of on the floor. It was…better. To have someone there.

“But a night came when I was ill and they still put me in the ring. I lost. They came with whips and took the boy away. He cried then, too. I’m not sure why. But the world darkened again. I looked into the eyes of an opponent one night and saw the fear. I didn’t want to hurt anyone else. The rage still came sometimes but I no longer tried to call it up. I wanted an end.

“Then one evening, I looked out into the spectators and saw an angel had come. A shining white angel dressed in black. I knew he’d come for me. I didn’t even put my hands up when the bell rang. It was time to die, I thought.”

A wistful note crept into his voice. “And the angel had come for me. My angel. He whisked me away…”

Thor stiffened suddenly in Drew’s arms, then pulled away abruptly and surged to his feet. “My angel… ohgod…no….”

Drew stood quickly as well. “Orion… Thor, sorry. Don’t run off again, okay? We’ll take you home, if that’s what you want?”


“Yes…well, the home you’ve known for the last couple years anyway. We’ll take you to the Prince, your angel. If you’re ready to see him now.”

“My love,” Vincent broke in, quiet but insistent. “Stay where you are. Give him a moment.”

Horror and confusion warred on Thor’s face. He took a step towards the door, stopped, and turned back with an anguished sound. Vincent held his breath when those tormented eyes turned to him and Thor rushed at him. Violence was not what he had in mind, though.

He dropped to one knee and seized Vincent’s hand in both of his. “How much did he know? All this time? When…and how?”

Vincent considered the questions carefully. There was no good answer here, only the truth. “The Prince has wrestled with the question of your identity from the moment he found you. He only had the bits and hints you could give him, from unfocused memories and fever dreams. He knew something terrible had happened. Guessed you had been in physics. Had learned your first name might have been Thor a few weeks ago when you mentioned it. But not until two nights ago was he able to place all the pieces together and find a person with a history to fit all these things.”

Thor knelt rigid and trembling for one heart-pounding moment. Then his expression crumpled and he dashed off, not outside but down the hall to the bathroom. The door slammed and miserable retching came from behind it.

Katya and Jonathan stepped into the room and Vincent filled them in on the parts they had missed.

“And the regret comes sooner rather than later.” Katya commented with a glance in Jonathan’s direction. “Maybe that’s a good thing. Should I call Elric, do you think?”

“I’m not certain yet,” Vincent said with a little shake of his head. “I don’t think Elric will be in any condition to leave his bed and I’m unsure whether Thor will be calm enough to transport home.”

“Well, only one way to find out, right?” Jonathan went to the bathroom door and put his ear to it. “Hey, big guy, you OK?”

No answer.

“Getting a little tired of pounding on bathroom doors,” Jonathan muttered.

He tried the handle, though, and found it unlocked. Thor lay curled on the floor, head buried in his arms, back heaving with his shuddering breaths.

“Beloved…please be careful.”

Jonathan shot Vincent a crooked smile. “Hey, who knows better how to deal with this kind of thing than me?”

He stepped in and wrinkled his nose while he closed the lid and flushed. Poor man obviously hadn’t eaten much over the last few days. Probably wasn’t helping his short-circuiting brain.

“Hey.” He put a gentle hand on Thor’s shoulder. “Look, I know the Porcelain Goddess is good company sometimes but I gotta tell you, she sucks to sleep with.” When he didn’t get a reaction, he reached down and gently moved one of Thor’s arms from his face. Blue eyes stared out onto some distant landscape. “Great. Ms. Kat, I don’t think it’s a good idea to move him anywhere today or try to get him to make any more decisions.”

Katya nodded her head in agreement. “Richard?”

Richard came forward as Jonathan stood and moved out of the way. He knelt beside Thor, taking up where Jonathan had just been, and murmured soothingly to him. With Richard’s help, Thor got up and Richard took him upstairs to the guest room.

“I’d like to stay with him.” Drew said softly to Vince. “He shouldn’t be left alone.”

Vincent nodded. “Of course, my love. He has recognized you and I am convinced now you will be safe.”


With the thick, velvet drapes pulled shut, the single, dim lamp in the corner of the bedroom only emphasized the gloom. Keit didn’t dare risk any more light for fear of bringing on one of the headaches that made the Prince so ill. His poor, battered head hurt enough.

Evening drew near and soon the hated sun would set. In the meantime, Keit sat on the edge of the bed trying to coax his highness into taking some tea and crackers. The tea he sipped, the crackers he waved away before he slipped back into his brooding.

Beyond bringing ice and staying beside him, Keit had no idea what else to do for him. He had fallen into melancholy brooding of his own when Elric’s voice startled him.

“I do not know vhat possessed me thet evening,” he began softly, ice blues eyes staring into memory. “I despise blood sports. But an aquvaintance needed an escort. She said it vould be exciting. Horrifying vas closer to the truth. These fighters vere so brutal, so intent on causing as much pain as possible. Two metches and I vished to go.”

He placed the teacup down on the nightstand. “But then they led out the most magnificent creature I hed ever seen. Led, because he vas in chains vhich they unlocked vhen they put him in the ring. The announcer called him ‘Beast’ and tried to convince the crowd he vas a vicious, vild animal. Our eyes met. I saw the anguished, lost soul there. And I could not leave until I hed been able to extrect him from his jailers. It vas expensive but how does vone put a price on a man’s life?”

“Easily, my Prince.” Keit said with more cynicism than he usually showed. “People have been doing it throughout history and in all cultures. The things humans will do to one another has always… astonished me.”

One white brow crept up, Elric’s only sign of emotion. “Perheps I should hef rephrased. I meant to say thet for me no price vould hef been too dear.” He reached out to take Keit’s hand. “Herzchen…are you all right?”

Keit lifted his eyes. “I was speaking of those men, my Prince. Not you. And no, I’m not exactly alright, but I’ll be okay.” He brought Elric’s hand up to rub his cheek across the back. He blinked back the moisture in his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat. He would not voice the question, but he couldn’t help thinking, what would happen if Orion didn’t want to come back to them?

Elric turned his hand to cup Keit’s cheek. “Oh, my heart…please don’t cry. Please.”

Keit closed his eyes and pulled in a deep breath. It wasn’t fair of him to cry now, when Elric most needed him. He could wait until later. “Yes, sir,” he said in a husky, but steady voice.

“I did not mean it as a command,” Elric whispered. “I simply feel so…useless. I see you hurt and I cannot think vhat to do. My ections hef caused his anguish and yours. Immer das selber…alvays the same. Those who come close to me come to grief.”

Keit made a sound that was half chuckle and half sob. “My Prince, everyone comes to grief. If anything, you make the grief less.” He turned and slid down next to Elric, careful not to jostle him too much as he put his arms around him. “You don’t know what to do for me, and I don’t know what to do for you… but at least we can muddle through together. Ich liebe dich.”

“So, ja, zusammen.” Elric kissed the top of his head. “I love you, too, my heart.”


Drew settled on the bed beside Thor and pulled the covers up around his shoulders. For a long time he simply sat with him, watching him lie there and drift. Eventually he talked to him, little things, he told him about the Japanese garden Vince had take him to, and the latest piece of music he was working on, and when he planned to go back to school. When he got tired he lay down next to him and held his hand.

Thor’s fingers closed gently over his, though otherwise he remained still. “Drew? I…I’ve hurt him. I said terrible things to him. How could I have done such a thing?”

“You were in shock…grief makes us not think right. He knows that. Ms. Katya spoke to him already. He knows you’re here and safe. He loves you, has already forgiven you, Thor.”

“I’m not so sure I can forgive myself. What if…what if I’m really a monster? Selfish. Bad-tempered. Violent. What if I hurt someone again?”

“I hurt people I loved, too. It doesn’t mean we’re bad, it just means we have to try again, try harder.”

Thor held Drew’s hand up, straightened his fingers out, and then placed their palms together. His hand dwarfed Drew’s slender fingers. “Except when I hurt someone, I might kill them by mistake.”

Drew lifted his eyes from their hands to peer into Thor’s. “All the more reason for you to try harder. Orion… Thor, you hurt him yes, don’t destroy him by turning your back on him for good because you’re afraid you might hurt him again.”

A long silence hung between them, then, “You can call me Orion if you want. I’m not…sure Thor was someone you would’ve liked.”

Over the next two days, Thor spent most of his time in bed, eyes closed. Whether he actually slept or not was debatable but he only stumbled out now and again to use the bathroom and then crawled back under the covers.

Suggestions that he go see Elric were only met with a shake of his head while a suggestion that he call him received a wordless look of anguished guilt. Apparently, Thor couldn’t muster enough forgiveness for himself to face the Prince. Eventually, though, it was gently hinted that Katya was not kindly disposed towards long-term sloth, so he rose and showered and began to putter about the house.

Like many scientists, who often had to rig equipment and invent their own mechanical solutions, Thor had a deep-rooted practical side. He tightened down a loose toilet, fixed a slow drip in the downstairs faucet, repaired the switch for the back patio light, changed the oil in all three cars, and hung a set of shelves in the garage no one had managed to get around to. He went about all his tasks in a serious, silent way, as if he engaged in some solemn ritual rather than home repair. Perhaps if Katya had needed a handyman with a broken heart, it might have been nice to keep him.

Jonathan watched him through the window a few days later while Thor trimmed the hedges. He’d come by to see how things were and wasn’t terribly encouraged. ‘So does he talk about it? About going home?”

Katya shook her head on a sip of coffee.

“That is one big mountain of guilt out there.”

“Mm,” Katya crossed to the window to stand beside him and look out. “Well, you know that old saying about how if the mountain won’t come to the man…”

“Yes, well, been working on that,” Jonathan said and took a long sip from his own coffee. Katya poked him when he didn’t elaborate right away. “Ow. Sorry. His highness hasn’t been in much better shape, is the problem. Hardly leaves his room. Won’t see clients. Of course, I understand him not wanting to see clients with a bruised face. But he’s…eaten up inside. You can tell he blames himself even though he speaks in that same calm voice he always does.”

“But I’m working on it.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek. “How do you feel about hosting a little private, intimate dinner party?”

“You know I would do anything to help right things, my dear. However, if your cajoling does not pan out soon, I will take… stronger measures myself.” Which meant her patience was just about at an end, and one or the other of these stubborn males would soon reap the result of that impatience.

Jonathan sighed. “You’ve been so tolerant, Katya. I know you have. I hope you don’t have to.” Thing was, he feared that a Katya dressing-down would drive Thor further into himself or raise Elric’s hackles to the point where he couldn’t listen to reason. “I’ll do the best I can. And you know I’m very good.”

“Yes, you are sweetheart. Like how you just tried to placate me so I wouldn’t go and bully either one of them and ruin all your finely finessed plans.”

She had to laugh softly at the way he suddenly tried to widen his eyes innocently. She patted his arm. “I would not try to bully Elric. But if your considerable charm and wit fail to produce the desired results, we shall have to examine other options. That’s all I’m saying.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He gave her a soft smile and leaned his head on her shoulder. Maybe it was all they had been through together, maybe it was some other strange connection but Katya was the only woman who could see straight through him. His own mother certainly never had. He loved her for it.


In the dark sanctuary of Elric’s bedroom, blue eyes opened to a whispered argument outside his door.

“Please, Jonathan, he’s been very clear about–”

“I know what he’s been clear on and it’s too freaking bad. His brain isn’t operating on all its cylinders.”

Keit’s desperate defense of the door having failed, the knob turned and Jonathan poked his head in. “Sir? I know you don’t feel well but could I talk to you? Please?”

The headache was better today. He truly should have been out of bed except that he had no energy, no appetite, and no interest in getting up. He hitched up against the headboard and waved Jonathan inside. “Vhat is it, junge? Hes something heppened at home?”

Jonathan winced. Not a good start when Elric called a person ‘boy’ instead of one of his pet names. “No, sir, everything’s fine at home. Except that we’re all worried about you. How are you?”

“Splendid. Never better,” came the softly ironic response.

“Sorry, sir. Stupid question.” Jonathan came to perch on the edge of the bed, his look of anxious concern not one he had to conjure up. He spoke for a while about Vincent and Drew, always coming back to the worry that nagged at them all. “Keit doesn’t look so good either, sir, if you don’t mind my saying so.”

“It pleases me so thet you feel you must remind me of these things.”

Honestly, did the man have to hide behind sarcasm when he was miserable? Jonathan bit back a heated response. “Katya would like the pleasure of your company tomorrow night. For dinner. What should I tell her?”

“Tell her she should issue her own invitations instead of sending a manipulative little messenger boy.”

Jonathan hung his head, bottom lip between his teeth. The tears stinging the backs of his eyes weren’t show either. He had expected an initial refusal but not such a harsh one.

A white hand reached out to cover his. “Süsselein, I am sorry. Thet vas uncalled for. Please forgive me.”

“Yes, sir,” Jonathan whispered but a tear still fell.

“Please understand. I cannot see him this vay. So hideous.”

“Sir, you‘re exaggerating. Sorry. But your nose is back to normal and the bruises hardly make you hideous. You’re still beautiful. What’s he going to think if you don’t come? That you’re afraid of him now?”

“I do not fear any man,” Elric said in a low growl.

“Then come to dinner. Please. A chaperoned, supervised dinner–”

Elric sighed. “Tell her I vill come.”


“Of course he wants to see you, Orion.” Katya told him as she smoothed the collar of his shirt. “Why else would he agree to come tonight?”

He looked at his shoes, his deep voice soft with misery. “To tell me it’s done. He wouldn’t do it any other way than face to face.”

“Mm, you are correct; he would not end a relationship any other way. However, I seriously doubt that is his intention tonight.” She paused. “He wishes to talk to you, he loves you, and he’s missed you. Accept that, at least, and listen to what he has to say before you jump to any conclusions. Alright?”

He nodded, his huge barrel chest expanding in a sigh. Orion. He had insisted they call him by the name the Prince had given him and he wasn’t entirely sure why. What was he to say to this man? The man who had saved him, nurtured him, nursed him, and, yes, had loved him? What if he saw him again and felt…nothing?

“I’m scared, Ms. Kat. I’m sorry.”

Katya cupped her hand to his cheek. “It’s okay, to be scared. It’s normal. Courage comes when we face those fears anyway, no?”

“So I’ve heard.” His forehead creased. “Maybe I’ve never been brave.”


Keit paused on the stairs when he heard an anguished sound from his Dom’s room. He rushed to Elric’s door only to find him standing in his dressing gown, staring at his closet.


“I cannot do this,” Elric said, running a hand over the side of his face. “How am I to face him vhen I cannot even think how to dress?”

“You can’t be that cruel, sir,” Keit said gently. “He is expecting you now. What will he think if you cancel?” he asked, coming forward to help him pick out clothes to wear.

“It is paralysis, not sadism,” Elric muttered. His heart gave a painful thud as his words brought to mind Orion’s last shouted epithets. “Am I cruel, herzchen? Are there times vhen you thought me so?”

Keit had never seen Elric so uncertain of himself, his confidence so shaken. It broke his heart nearly as much as it had when Orion left. “No, my Prince. You have never been cruel. Here…” Keit withdrew a dark emerald silk shirt. Not blue, which might seem cold on him, or red, which might be overwhelming right now. The green would be soothing. He took out fitted trousers in a dark charcoal as well. Very nice yet casual enough for a dinner party.

Elric let out a long breath and seemed to recover himself a little when he shooed Keit back out to let him dress. Why he had to dress in private, he couldn’t explain but it had been that way for a long time. Perhaps because he did it so deliberately, an audience would have destroyed the feeling of ritual.

He let the dressing gown fall from him and stood naked at the mirror. The bruise on his hip was the only sign his body carried from that day while his face…he sighed. Green and purple ran along the left side of his jaw while the skin around his right eye was still distinctly blue. At least I have some color in my face… He choked back a laugh, unwilling to give into nervous hysteria.

He pulled on the clothes Keit had set out for him and searched his shoe shelves for the right boots, black ankle boots with a relatively low heel, then sat down at his dressing table to brush out his hair. He tied it back, grimaced at the severe effect on his bruised face, then teased out the front just a bit and left the back alone. His hands shook as he placed the single emerald in his ear. He supposed it would do.

Appearances. Even when one was miserable and uncertain, one had to keep up appearances. He strode out and down the stairs where Keit waited with his coat in hand.

Keit handed it to him and kissed his cheek, then stood discretely to the side of the front window, watching until Elric was gone. Part of him had hoped he would be invited as well, and that part was sorely disappointed to be left behind, this meeting was so important. He reined those thoughts in, though. Orion and Elric needed their time and space to reconnect, if there was to be any hope of a future together.

When Elric arrived, Richard answered the door, much to his relief. He greeted everyone as he came in and spotted Thor…Orion…Gott im Himmel, what was he supposed to call the man? He hovered in the doorway to the dining room. Their eyes met briefly and Orion’s slid away to a spot on the floor.

Elric very nearly turned and walked out. Only Katya’s glare held him in place.

As if she wasn’t sure if even that would hold him long, Katya came forward and took his arm, leading him inside while Richard took his coat. “I’m so glad you came, Elric,” she murmured softly. “I’m sure there are things that you and Orion would like to discuss.” She took Orion’s arm as well as she glided past. Dwarfed between the two of them, she nonetheless was definitely the one in control of the situation here, in her domain.

In the dining room, a carafe of coffee waited, along with two place settings on the table, one at the head, and one on the immediate right. “I thought it might be better for you to speak privately. Dinner isn’t quite ready yet.” With that said, she kissed Elric’s cheek, and Orion bent when she turned to him so she could place one on his cheek as well, and then she left them.

Elric took the chair at the head of the table, straight and outwardly cool. He poured for them both, as he had always done, and when the big man still stood staring at the floor, he said softly, “If you do not vish to be here, no vone vill force you to stay.”

With a creak, the other chair accepted his weight, eyes still unable to lift from his lap.

“Thor.” Elric pronounced it as it should have been, ‘Tor’. “Do I call you this now?”

The big hands spread and then clasped together tightly. “I don’t know. If you want.”

Elric leaned an elbow on the table and put his chin in his hand. He supposed he hadn’t expected the boy to rush into his arms but this chilly reception threatened to snap his heart in two. “Am I so horrid, then? So revolting you cannot look at me?”

Thor shook his head. “No…it’s not…I mean, I can’t…” With a soft cry, he buried his face in his hands. “I can’t do this! God, I can’t! Please…it’s too much!”

“I vill go,” Elric said softly. “I hef upset you, Thor. It is obvious you no longer feel the same. I shall not torment you vith my presence.” He started to rise. A huge hand shot out and clamped onto his wrist, preventing further movement.

“No…you don’t understand,” the deep voice trembled with the earthquakes rolling through his chest. “Please don’t call me that. I can’t…it’s not…” He reached out his free hand to trace a finger along Elric’s jaw. “I…hurt you. I could’ve killed you.”

“But you did not.” Elric swallowed hard despite himself. “You could hef. But even in your darkest moment, in your rage and grief, you pulled the blows. The physical hurts vill mend.”

“But not the emotional? I said terrible things to you.”

“Orion,” Elric whispered. “Do you still love me?”

Orion withdrew his hands, chest heaving. He lifted his head and finally looked, truly looked, at the man next to him, his Eagle Prince, his angel… “Yes. God help you, yes.”

Elric turned in his chair and opened his arms. “Come here.”

With a strangled sound, Orion flung himself to his knees and buried his head against Elric’s chest, sobbing as if his heart had been torn from him.

Katya walked into the kitchen and a little smile curled her lips. Richard gave her a questioning look and she bestowed upon him one of her full dazzling smiles that made his knees weak. “I’d say things will work out just fine.”

“I hef missed you so,” Elric whispered into the mane of honey-blond hair.

“You don’t even know who I am anymore,” Orion hiccoughed. “I don’t know who I am…”

“You are the same man. There is simply…more of you now.” Elric stroked a hand over his broad back. “Although there vas certainly an awful lot of you to begin vith.”

Orion managed a strained laugh. The sound seemed to surprise him into a larger one. It felt as if an iron cage around Elric’s heart shattered and it beat freely again.

Chapter 286 – Club Night (2)

Der stopped at a place on the dance floor where the crowd had parted for him. Funny, all he had to do was smile sometimes, that white, sharp-toothed wolf’s smile, and people moved for him.

With a hand to Drew’s waist, he pulled him in close, letting the bumping grind of the music take him. He curled over to kiss the top of Drew’s ear. “You look smoking hot tonight, sugar bear.”

Drew laughed and shook his head. “You like the refugee look then, huh?” He grinned as he brushed a hand over the inch or so of hair on his head. At least it was soft now, but still shorter than he’d had it since he was six and his mom decided to take him to the barber for a brush cut for the summer. He glimpsed Xavier and Jonathan through the crowd, melded together at the lips and hips. He turned Der’s head toward them. “Now that’s smoking hot!” He laughed.

Der turned right back, an odd look in his eyes. Drew realized a moment late it might have been hurt lurking there. He still smiled, though, gamely trying to smother whatever thought had hit him. “Always. Those two can’t help it. Like little censures filled with sex incense.”

“Of course, neither one of them can hold a candle to you.” Drew smiled, his fingers pressing on the back of his neck to bring him closer for a soft kiss. “They’re too pretty to be really handsome.”

A soft laugh vibrated in Der’s chest as his hands slid down to the top curves of Drew’s lovely butt. Caught sulking, oh, yes, Drew could read him like a picture book. “Flattery will get you just about everywhere with me.”

Drew grinned happily and kissed him again. “Don’t I know it,” Drew said cheekily as he bounced and wriggled in Der’s arms. He wasn’t as talented as Xav, or as graceful as Jonathan, but he was enthusiastic and always had fun when he was dancing.

Der bent him backwards when the beat turned sultry. His body never stopped moving, a slow, sensual grind against Drew’s as if he took him right there on the dance floor. He closed the distance between them, unable to resist those lips any longer, and seized them in a fierce kiss.

At the table, Vincent let out a little snort that had Brandon looking his way. “I think some of us might end up sleeping alone tonight.”

Brandon’s chuckle didn’t sound entirely comfortable and Vincent bit back a sigh. Apparently, he was capable of making even Brandon ill at ease. He changed the subject slightly. “I wanted to thank you. For Jonathan. For being so kind to him.”

“Well, I, uh…” Brandon cleared his throat. “I didn’t exactly do it just to be nice to him, you know.” He glanced at Vince with a little grin, his expression all sexy boy-next-door. “Although, I’m glad he’s more comfortable around me now.”

Vincent laughed softly. “I didn’t mean to imply that you did it out of pity. He is perhaps one of the most incredible sexual magnets I’ve ever met, a sensual being in every sense.” He leaned his chin on his hand. “I knew long ago I couldn’t demand absolute fidelity. He needs a little…variety of experience. But he needs the rules. And he needs compassionate lovers. Which is why I give my permission carefully.”

He smiled at Brandon. “So, yes, I know how desirable he is. But thank you, for letting him find his way to you. It took Der much, much longer to make any headway with him, you know.”

Now it was Brandon’s turn to snort. “That’s because they both like teasing each other so much.” He took a sip of his beer, looking out over the crowd. Jonathan and Xavier had been swallowed up, but he could still spot Der and Drew. He loved Der more than anything, thought that gorgeous body should be cast in bronze so generations from now some horny boy could still run his hands over it. Watching the way he moved with Drew was pretty damn hot, too… that boy could still make his heart thud, and, ah, other areas a bit further south.

He returned his attention to Vincent. “I think you’re right. I can see Der’s devious plans to steal Drew from you tonight from here.” He chuckled. “Will you mind? If they both go with someone else tonight?”

“Mind?” Vincent shook his head. “No, not mind so much as miss them. I’m not one of those people who can’t sleep alone. But it will be a little strange. I don’t think I’ve had a night yet where I’ve been alone in our house.”

Drew had almost forgotten how much fun it was to lose himself in a crowded dance floor and just let the music pulse through him. He didn’t know how much time had gone by, but Der leaned in to tell him he should go check on Brandon. Drew nodded, but he wasn’t ready to stop yet. He gave Der a kiss and shimmied into the crowd.

Drew had been so absorbed with Der and with dancing that he hadn’t really noticed how many times eyes traveled over him. He noticed as soon as Der left his side, though. He wasn’t gone thirty seconds before a smiling stranger danced his way up to Drew and slid his arms around him. Drew stiffened for a second or two, but he told himself to relax.

Wasn’t he here to dance and have fun? Still, he only danced with him for a minute before moving out of his grasp, but he seemed only to move right into another.

About the fourth or fifth one, he found someone a little more determined not to let him slip away. “You are fuckin gorgeous,” he said just above Drew’s ear. His arms were around Drew’s waist and he pressed his hips close, rubbing up against Drew. “Come home with me so I can fuck your brains out.”

Drew laughed. “Smooth.” He shook his head. “I’m with someone.”

“Bring him, he can watch. Or I’ll do you both.”

“No thanks.” Drew went to pull away from him but another guy pressed up behind him.

“Don’t mind him, honey. He’s trashed. You can still come home with us, though?”

“No, sorry.” Drew said, and somehow slipped sideways. Okay, maybe it was time to go. Or at least go check on Vince and everyone. He wove his way through the writhing bodies and ran smack into Der. He beamed a bright smile up at him and put his arms around his neck. “I was just heading back to the table.”

If Der wrapped his arm around his waist a bit possessively, he couldn’t be blamed. He’d seen the more insistent cruisers. Seen how they had their hands and just about everything else all over Drew and he’d just managed to wipe the snarl from his face when Drew found him.

“Well, perfect, since I was just coming to find you,” Der said with a smile and a nuzzle to Drew’s cheek.

Drew nuzzled him back and found his lips in a softly tender kiss. “I feel bad, I kept you all night. You didn’t get to dance with Brandon at all.”

“Tell you a secret,” Der said in a stage whisper. “Brandon’s too white bread to have any rhythm. He doesn’t like to dance.” He ran a claw tip through Drew’s hair. “I was just wondering, sugar bear, it’s been so nice to see you. Would you like to come home with me tonight?”

“Only if you promise to tie me up and do naughty things to me,” he said in a playful sexy whisper in Der’s ear.

Der held up a hand in a Boy Scout salute. “Scout’s honor. I will be absolutely wicked.”

Drew laughed and was still laughing while he ran to keep up with Der’s long legs as he strode back to the table.

The request made Vincent glance at Brandon with quiet amusement. “Well, we certainly know our boys, don’t we?” He turned back to Der. “I’ve already lost Jonathan to Xavier, they’re already gone. And now you want my Andrew as well? Should I take Brandon home with me to make things even?”

He was teasing, Der was pretty sure, but still his mouth hung open with no snappy retort able to form.

Brandon knew Vince wasn’t serious, but he wasn’t above a little teasing himself. He slid a hand across Vince’s shoulders, caressing over the dark silk of his hair. He leaned in closer so when he spoke his breath moved over Vince ear. “I think that’s only fair.”

Vincent managed to keep both a straight face and a handle on the little shiver that skittered up his back. He still gazed at Der, whose confounded expression had just gone from surprised to adorably perplexed. “Well? An answer sometime today?”

“I suppose if you wanted,” Der answered slowly. “That is, I suppose I shouldn’t be too greedy…”

Brandon leaned even closer and whispered for Vince’s ear alone. “Even if I just end up on your couch, hon. Better than on my own listening to them, hm?” he said, letting Vince know that whatever happened was up to him.

A pale hand reached up to smooth a stray bit of hair from Brandon’s face. “There we are then. Drew, you may have Der tonight. All to yourself.” Vincent smiled for Drew but an odd feeling had hold of him. He wasn’t sure if it was attraction or nerves.

In the hearse, Drew waited until Der had pulled out onto the street before he asked. “Der, you ok with this? For sure?”

Der’s laugh held a strange, fey edge. “Gods. What a jerk I’d be if I asked Brandon to accept all the things I do and then tell him no the first time…not that anything will probably happen. At least…maybe not. It is Vincent, after all. Not that I’m saying Vincent’s not…oh, dear gods, I’m just going to get both big feet stuck in my mouth no matter what here.”

Drew laughed softly, and then said a little more seriously. “I don’t think you would have been a jerk if you’d said no… I mean, he did sort of spring that on you. Although, I don’t think Bran or Vincent meant to, I think they were just teasing, at first.”

“At first.” Der pulled in a long breath as he took a corner. “Right. Not so sure about towards the end there. And I don’t know where this is coming from. It doesn’t give me any sort of turn that you sleep with Jonathan and Vincent. It doesn’t bother me at all that Jonathan’s gone off to screw Xavier’s brains out. I certainly don’t have any odd feelings, except for getting hard as hell, when I see the Prince kiss someone else. And it just gets me hot thinking of Ethan with Quinn.”

He chewed carefully on his lower lip. “So why do I feel like I need to mark my territory now?”

Drew looked at him, waiting…and when he didn’t say anything more he shook his head. “Oh, c’mon Der… you have to know, don’t you? Brandon’s the one, you know, the one. And it’s the first time he’s gone off with someone else since you guys have been together. You’re going to feel a little weird about it. I was just worried that you might feel too weird about it, like cause-a-problem weird.” Drew knew very well and very painfully how these things could suddenly become a big problem.

“Please.” Der snorted. “Just because I’ve fallen in love again, it doesn’t mean I’ve found…” He trailed off, opened his mouth, and snapped it shut again. “Oh. Dear gods…”

In that moment, in Drew’s casual words, he realized it was all true. Brandon was the one he’d waited for, pined for, not just his current love but also that one epic love of a lifetime. His. Brandon was his… “Jonathan’s right. I can be really dense sometimes.”

He turned it over some more and burrowed into the possibility of Vincent and Brandon… his beloved Vincent, his Brandon…and suddenly it didn’t seem odd at all. An image came to him of the five of them snuggled in bed like a basket of puppies and he threw his head back and laughed. “But I think, sugar bear, that it’s going to be just fine.”

Drew watched with a soft smile on his lips as Der worked though the process, imagining little gears turning in his head. He leaned over and kissed his cheek. “You are a great big wonderful man, you know that? Brandon is lucky.” He smiled.

“I’m the lucky one, sugar bear. Twelve times over.” He shot Drew a wink as he pulled into the apartment’s garage. “Now we just have to convince my mother that I’m settled and happy.”

“I think she knows.” Drew said, sliding over to straddle Der’s lap as soon as he cut the engine. “She hasn’t been calling you as much lately, has she?” He observed, kissing teasingly along Der’s jaw and across his lips. “I’ve missed you, Der,” he whispered, kissing him more firmly. The tip of his tongue teased the crease of Der’s lips until he opened and let him in to explore, the little bead in his tongue stroking along the roof of his mouth. His hips moved restlessly in Der’s lap, still wanting to move to the pounding rhythm of music they’d left behind. Drew’s fingers framed Der’s face, sliding back into his hair as they kissed with mounting passion. “I want you so much.” He got out in breathless rush between kisses.

Der’s hands slid over him, their limbs tangling in an urgent embrace. Drew leaned back a little when Der leaned forward and his back pressed up against the horn on the steering wheel, startling them both with a short, impatient blast. They both laughed.

“Maybe we should go upstairs, sugar bear.” Der suggested.

They managed to tumble out of the car and up to Der’s apartment with their clothes still intact.

Once inside, Der hung his coat on the peg and swept Drew up in his arms. “I’ve missed you, too. I’m so glad you’re well again. Have I told you how scared I was?”

“Only about a thousand times,” Drew said softly, his fingers stroking Der’s cheek.

“Sorry.” Der carried him to the bed and set him down gently. “But I’ve promised you wicked things…” He turned to rummage in his toy drawer, humming to himself.

Drew toed off his shoes and took off his socks, watching Der as he made a show of selecting just what he wanted while not letting Drew really see yet what he was taking out. Drew crossed his arms and pulled off his shirt. When he looked over at Der again he was leering comically and holding an enormous purple dildo almost as long as his forearm with pink flowers on it. Jonathan had given it to him as a gag gift a while ago. Drew laughed, “I don’t think so!”

Der frowned and looked at the lurid thing. He gave an airy wave. “Of course not. It will so clash with your hair, honey. What was I thinking?” Drew’s laugh sluiced over him in a warm eddy. Oh, how he loved that laugh.

He finally located what he truly wanted and stood with four lengths of cotton rope in one hand, twirling a hog tie by one of its rings.

Drew stood, slowly unbuttoned his jeans and slid the zipper down as he looked at the ropes in Der’s hands. There was a little flutter in his stomach. Der had never really tied him up before. He’d asked Drew to restrain him, and there had been that once with Vincent there, but that was a little different. Drew realized all the little flutters were anticipation. He slid his jeans and underwear off and stood waiting, his excitement growing along with the stiffness of his cock.

Der took a step towards him and dropped to his knees, gray eyes gazing up at Drew. “You’re so damn beautiful,” he whispered.

He put the hogtie on the bed and the cords on the floor before he lifted Drew’s right arm to kiss the soft skin at the base of his palm. He nuzzled and licked at the palm while he tied the first cord around Drew’s wrist.

Drew’s thumb caressed Der’s cheek while he tied the rope. He stood quietly, letting Der take his time as he tied each one carefully.

Little touches and kisses went with each but Der left the mouthwatering erection in front of his face alone. It was hard…he was hard…but he managed. Finally, he smoothed his hand over Drew’s hip. “Get up on the bed for me, sugar bear, on your front. Get yourself comfy.”


Brandon followed Vincent as he swung himself into the kitchen. “Could I get you anything? Water? Juice? Some of the chocolate biscotti Jonathan made yesterday?”

He hung up his crutches, levered himself onto his rolling stool and got out the offered items so Brandon wouldn’t have a chance to be polite and decline. They talked softly for a few minutes about Der, about the cats and the apartment.

Vincent finished his water and fixed Brandon with a steady gaze. “I do have an extra bed, of course, so there’s no need for you to sleep on the sofa. It’s not that I’m not interested but I would never force myself on you. I know I’m not exactly your type.” A little smile tugged at one corner of his mouth. “I’m not really anyone’s type, to be quite honest.”

Brandon actually laughed. “Ah, you’re right. Hot young men with gorgeous faces, long silky hair, and soulful dark eyes are never anyone’s type.” He made a fussy little wave reminiscent of a gesture Jonathan might use, his smile softening when he pulled a little laugh from Vince.

Brandon touched his fingers to Vince’s chin, tilting his head toward him. “If I felt nothing at all, I would have gone home with Der. It’s not reluctance you’re picking up on, just respect for boundaries.” Slowly Brandon leaned closer, giving Vince plenty of time to say stop, and when he didn’t, he brushed his lips tenderly over Vince’s.


Drew lay down on the bed as Der instructed, wriggling a bit to get comfortable. He thought of something and turned his head to the side to look at Der. “You don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to, Der.”

A strangled sound caught in Der’s chest as his brows crept up his forehead. “You are joking, aren’t you?” He pulled his sleeveless t-shirt off over his head. “Sugar bear, I dream about things like this. Your sexy little body trussed and squirming. How can you even suggest something like that?”

Drew’s lips curled in a little smile at him, though whether the smile was more for the comment or the skin just revealed would have been hard for him to say. “I just wanted to be sure, because you’re being so…careful.”

“Oh.” Der scratched his head. “Do you not want me to be careful? It’s not really what I’m good at. Playing rough.”

Drew chuckled softly. “I love everything you do, Der. Everyone’s been treating me like I might break lately, I was just making sure you weren’t uncomfortable or anything.”

With a little sigh, Der sat down next to him. He ran a claw tip down Drew’s back to circle the little dimple above his tight little cheeks. “You can’t blame us, love. If we feel a little more tender around you for awhile.” His breath caught and his voice trembled. “We thought we were losing you. Vincent was nearly out of his mind with worry. Me, too.”

“I know, Der. I know… I’m ok now though, all better,” he said with a softly encouraging smile.

Der snatched him up, pulled him into his lap, and crushed him close. His desperate war against bursting into tears had him shaking, his hands traveled over Drew’s body as if he needed to be reassured of his solidity. Desperation slid sideways and he seized Drew’s lips in a scorching kiss, devouring him, plunging his tongue again and again into the heat of Drew’s mouth.

Drew wrapped his arms around Der’s neck, pressing tightly to him, kissing him hot enough and hard enough to make his toes curl. Der released his lips only to bend into the crook of his neck, kissing and licking there. Drew tipped his head back with a soft moan of desire.

“Gods…the sounds you make,” Der whispered against his skin. “I’m going to burst into flames.”

“Don’t do that, we don’t have your fireman here to put you out,” Drew teased, his fingers combing through Der’s hair, the ropes still looped around his wrist trailing down Der’s back. He wriggled his hips in Der’s lap. “You’ll just have to find another way to burst.”


Vincent let his fingers slide into Brandon’s hair, so thick and surprisingly soft. He pressed closer as Brandon opened for him and let his tongue explore. His scent was clean and hinted at cinnamon. His hands were so gentle, hard to believe the man put out fires for a living.

“I would tell you about the scars.” Vincent pulled back, his thumb stroking Brandon’s cheek. “But I think you know. And I suppose we…match in a way, now.”

Brandon kissed along Vince’s jaw, his fingers gliding lightly over his ribs. “I won’t worry about them if you don’t.”

I don’t care if you don’t, and I don’t want it if you don’t,” Vincent recited the opening chorus lines of ‘Let’s Go to Bed‘, slipping into the habit of trading appropriate lyrics with Der.

Brandon chuckled softly near Vince’s ear. “Well, come on then.” He whispered, breathing in the scent of his hair. “Let’s go to bed.” He lifted Vince from the stool, strong hands holding him just below his butt. “Is this alright?” he asked belatedly. “Or would you rather walk?”

“This is fine,” Vincent said as he wrapped his arms around Brandon‘s neck. “He likes to carry me, too. And there’s no one here to see.”

Brandon smiled. He kissed and nuzzled Vince’s neck and lips all the way to the bedroom, then knelt on the edge of the bed and rolled Vince down, kissing him more passionately as he did. His fingers went to the buttons of his shirt, undoing them slowly and pushing the fabric back on his shoulders and down his arms.

Vincent allowed it, fighting the overwhelming shyness that crept over him when a new lover undressed him. He stopped Brandon’s hands after the shirt so he could reciprocate and unbutton Brandon’s to slide it off his hard-packed torso.

His fingers traced over the burn scars along Brandon’s side. There seemed a strange pattern to them, almost decorative.

“My death walks beside me,” he said softly as he gazed up into Brandon’s dark eyes. “It’s a strange thing, to stand beside death and have him tell you it’s not time. Survival is… excruciatingly painful at first, isn’t it? Though later you understand it as a gift.”

He came up on his elbow to give Brandon’s lips a tender kiss. “I’m still frightened at the prospect of losing someone I love. Having them dash into the dark before me. But my own death…that no longer frightens me at all.”

Brandon kissed him, soft but intense. “You are too old to be so young,” he murmured.

“So I’ve been told,” Vincent said as his hand wandered over Brandon’s chest. He hitched himself over to the headboard to recline against the pillows. A little wave had Brandon join him, straddling his hips. He caressed over Brandon’s arms, feeling the hard muscles before he moved his hands inward to undo Brandon’s pants.

Brandon watched Vince’s fingers as he worked on the buttons of his fly. His own hands caressed gently down Vincent’s chest, tugging the button of his slacks free and unzipping them. He bent to kiss the side of his throat, working his way down in a trail of hot kisses.

“You may need a shoehorn to get me out of these,” Vincent got out in a breathless whisper, referring to the skin-tight leather encasing his hips. “It took both Jonathan and Drew to get them on.”

“I think I can manage it.” Brandon chuckled. “I’ve had some practice.” He didn’t bother trying to slide his pants down, instead he took hold of the top and peeled the leather down lean hips and thighs. He dropped them over the side of the bed, and shed his own jeans and underwear. He lay on his side beside Vince, one arm propping his head.


Der’s answering growl was both playful and full of heat. He tipped Drew back onto the bed on his front with a little pat to his adorable butt. “You just relax, then, sugar bear, and let me work on getting us both to burst.”

He reached for the hogtie and placed it in the middle of Drew’s back. A little smile tugged at his lips when Drew twitched at the cold metal against his skin. His hands smoothed down Drew’s arms before he eased them back to tie them securely to the top rings. Then he bent one shapely leg up at a time, kissing along ankles and calves while he secured Drew’s ankles as well.

Feet up in the air, knees spread, Drew looked good enough to eat. So Der leaned forward to lick at the beautiful cheeks offered to him.

Drew flexed, testing the amount of movement he had. The tip of Der’s tongue ran a wet line over his cheek and he squirmed a little more.

“You like that, sugar bear?” Der breathed over the crease of his ass. “Or do you want something more?”


Vincent caressed Brandon’s side and hip, his fingers slipping over the curve of one muscular cheek. “I don’t generally bottom,” he said with a soft smile. “Though I usually have to top on my back. I hope that’s all right.

Bran kissed his lips, fingers trailing lightly down his chest. His smile was disarmingly boyish. “Can you snort like a bull, too?” he asked, and when Vince arched a brow, he chuckled. “Sorry, just a little joke. Der… never mind.” He kissed him again, laughing, and slid his arms around Vince. He kissed downward, follow the planes of his chest and letting his warm lips suck at his nipple, lashing it lightly with his tongue.

“Mmm, you are so sweet,” Vincent whispered, his back arching into Brandon’s eager attentions. His hands stroked through Brandon’s hair, over his broad shoulders and back. He gasped when Brandon sucked a nipple into his mouth. In no rush, he let Brandon do as he liked, willing to be teased for a while.


“Yes.” Drew breathed, his hips moving against the mattress in a slow sensual grind. “Oh please, yes…”

“Oh?” Der’s voice dropped to a husky growl. He peeled out of his leathers and reached into the nightstand. “And what is it you want, my little sex kitten?”

Not as if he needed Drew to tell him but he so wanted to hear it from Drew’s lovely lips. He set the lube down in easy reach, pulled a couple of claw sheaths on and waited for an answer.

“Mmm…I want you inside me. I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk straight,” Drew said with a heated look for him.

“I do believe that can be arranged,” Der murmured. He flipped off the top of the lube bottle and squeezed a half dollar-sized dollop onto his sheathed fingers. He didn’t waste any more time teasing, about to pass out from desire himself, but rolled the pad of one silicon clad finger over Drew’s tight entrance until the tip slid inside.


Brandon moved down Vince’s torso with slow caresses and kisses. His mouth was already watering for a taste of the beautiful cock he nuzzled. Unable to resist any longer he laved the flat of his tongue in a lazy circle around the smooth head, and pushed his lips down the silky wetness he created.

Another little gasp whispered from Vincent. His hips rolled, pushing up into Brandon’s mouth. He took his bottom lip between his teeth to keep the hard moan from rising up his throat and some of the more ridiculous words as well. A hundred men had most likely told Brandon how handsome he was, how desirable. Any lover he’d had would have told him how wonderful that sweet, pliant mouth was.

Sweet spirits, his head was spinning. “I want you,” he finally moaned, his body yearning towards the one atop his. “Brandon…I want you so…”


Drew’s hips came up off the bed. “Uhhh…Der…” His name came out a husky whisper.

“Mmm, I’m right here, love,” Der whispered. He leaned forward to kiss Drew softly while his finger slid inside. Drew didn’t want to be treated like glass but he’d be damned if he was going to rush and hurt him.

He took his time, one finger and then two, teasing Drew open, waiting for him to relax. The little squirms were making him crazy, the hogtied position perfect for Drew’s lithe, graceful frame. When he couldn’t take any more, he positioned himself between Drew’s wide-spread knees, took his cock in hand and eased inside.


Brandon lifted his mouth from him and slid his leg over Vince’s hips. Without having to ask, he unerringly reached for a bottle of lube from the drawer beside the bed and stroked a good dollop over Vince’s straining shaft, his hand moving up and down slowly. “I want you too, Vince.”

“Good,” Vincent breathed on a sultry smile. He took Brandon by the hips and guided him, having him lift up a bit so he could position himself. Brandon hadn’t been prepared at all, which gave Vincent a moment of concern, so he rolled slowly, asking for entry rather than demanding it.

Brandon eased down, knowing exactly how much he could take and how fast. He watched Vince’s face, the way his eyes slid closed for a moment and opened again as if he didn’t want to miss anything, the way his soft lips parted on a little gasp, the way his throat bobbed when he swallowed hard. He leaned in, taking his lips like he wanted to devour him, his toned body moving in slow waves on top of him.

A moan vibrated against Brandon. Long arms wrapped tight around him, surprising him with their strength. Though someone who moved his whole body on his arms would have to have strong ones, he just hadn’t thought about it before.

Vincent’s moans came more often now as they moved together, his cock buried deep inside that tight sheath. He reached between them to wrap his fingers around Brandon’s erection, stroking in time with their hips, reveling in the feel of that thick, straight member in his hand.

Brandon rose and fell in steady rhythm with Vince. The hand wrapped around him moved with skill and had him climbing in no time. His own hands tightened in the sheets on either side of Vince. “Mmm…yeah, that feels so good.”


Drew’s forehead dropped to the mattress. “God, Der…oooh.” He exhaled, back arching gracefully.

Der grasped his hips and held him still so he couldn’t wriggle one way or the other. He thrust further in to his first ladder rung, the little balls of his piercings sendings electric jolts through him as they bumped past Drew’s tight ring. In and out, he eased farther and farther in until he buried himself all the way with a ragged moan.

Drew gave a heated moan of his own, his hips moving despite the way Der held them. He couldn’t help it. “Oh, that feels so good Der.” He said breathlessly into the sheets.


“Brandon…” Vincent whispered as his sac tightened, the pressure reaching boiling all at once. “Sweet spirits…kiss me…come with me…”


Der stilled buried to the balls inside Drew’s heat. He whimpered, trying to hold out for a little longer. “Sugar bear, are you anywhere near yet?”


Brandon’s lips hovered just above Vince’s. “Vince… oh, yes, I’m…uhhh!” He lost his words as his body suddenly moved faster, coming down harder and a hot geyser erupted over Vince’s smooth belly.


Drew groaned, unable to answer or even form coherent words. His body did all the talking for him, bucking and squirming as far as his bonds and Der’s weight would allow. It was a sudden, delicious thrill, knowing he was helpless under Der’s firm body, and yet knowing he was perfectly safe. He was so damn horny it was all he could do to hold on for a few more intensely erotic moments. Der’s cock pushed into him, grinding his hips and his cock into the sheets beneath. “Oooh, ooohhh!” His lean body tightened, he bucked hard, once…twice, and his come was gushing into the sheets.


Vincent seized his lips in a bruising kiss, bucking up into Brandon in short hard thrusts as that heated sleeve clamped around him. His cry of ecstasy caught by Brandon’s mouth, he let his lips and tongue tell him how wonderful he was as he came with explosive force.

Brandon collapsed on top of him, panting, and Vincent held him gently, murmuring soft, tender nothings in his ear.


Der’s eyes rolled and his hips pistoned, taking Drew harder than perhaps he ever had before. He came with a strangled cry, fingers digging into Drew’s hips, the room tilting from the intensity of it all.

Drew lay panting and boneless, a warm glow in his bound limbs. He couldn’t have moved even if he were free. He just wanted to lay there and float.

When Der’s eyes uncrossed and his cock had softened enough to retreat gently, he pulled out and undid the knots one by one. He placed Drew’s limbs down on the covers carefully, massaging each one before moving on. With the cords all tossed onto the floor, he moved Drew just enough to slide the wet spot out from under him and lay down beside him to nuzzle at his shoulder.

Drew took a deep breath and let it out slowly, and sleepy sated smile on his face. He turned over, sliding his arms around Der’s neck and kissing him. “That was really fun. So hot.” He grinned, kissing and nuzzling him.

“Of course it was hot,” Der said with a sleepy smile. “It was with you.” He rolled to his back, settled Drew against his side, and covered them both. “You know, if we go to sleep now, we might be able to get up in the morning in time to make Vincent breakfast.”


Vincent was at that moment settling Brandon next to him in nearly the identical position. “I suppose we’ve completed the last piece of the puzzle here,” he said, his hand stroking Brandon’s shoulder.


Dave woke first the next morning. Xavier slept curled in a warm ball beside him. In the living room Jonathan was just opening his eyes when Dave came out. They were both used to rising early, and both had plans for the day. Since Xavier wasn’t likely to stir before noon Dave offered to take him home.

Right about the time Dave dropped Jonathan off, Drew and Der were just getting back in the car from an early morning trip to the bagel shop and headed to the condo as well.

Jonathan took off his shoes at the door, put his keys on the rack in the kitchen and started coffee. A late night for Vincent meant he would still be sleeping and Drew would stay snuggled in with him whether he was awake or not. Jonathan hummed softly to himself as he padded around the condo.

Finally, he pushed the bedroom door open and smiled. Vincent lay on his side, his face angelic and beautiful as he slept, with Drew curled up against his back and burrowed under the covers.

Wait. That’s too big to be…

The body next to Vincent shifted, a heavily-muscled, tattooed arm sliding over Vincent’s hip.

“Holy shit!” Jonathan spat out, backpedaled three steps and fell on his butt in the hallway.

Brandon’s head came up, though it took him a few blinks before he realized he was in Vince’s bed looking at Jonathan on the floor in the hallway. “Jonathan?” he murmured groggily.

Vincent’s eyes snapped open. Then he grunted and buried his head under the pillow. His voice drifted out muffled from underneath. “This is not the manner in which I expect to be woken. Coffee and a kiss good morning, yes. Obscenities and drama, no.”

“But that’s…that’s not Drew!” Jonathan sputtered.

Vincent emerged, turned his head, and gave Brandon a soft, sleepy kiss. “I do believe you’re right, beloved. Such a smart man.” He dove back under the pillow to hide from the light. “More coffee, less drama.”

Jonathan’s mouth snapped shut while Brandon’s hung open. He watched as Jonathan picked himself up and retreated down the hall.

Brandon stroked his hand down Vince’s arm softly and kissed his shoulder. “That was a little…abrupt,” he said gently.

Vincent’s initial response was an irritated snort but the gentle hand kept stroking his arm and he realized he had worried Brandon. He rolled to his back and let Brandon settle his head on his shoulder.

“There are times to offer him comfort and sympathy,” he explained with a soft kiss to Brandon’s forehead. “And there are times when the drama is just drama and shouldn’t be encouraged. Think about it a moment. Going off to sleep with someone else’s boyfriend and then having the nerve to be upset with me for having someone in my bed.”

A little wail came from down the hall. “Where’s Drew?”

Vincent sighed. “When he’s ready to be my sensible Jonathan and not the Empress of Drama, I will gladly explain.”

“Well, do you mind if I go talk to him? I mean, he’s only just felt a little more comfortable around me, I don’t want him to go back to flinching every time I move.”

“I would say sleeping in your arms is more than just a little bit more comfortable,” Vincent grumbled. “Go ahead, then.”

Brandon gave him a long look, but he got up and pulled on his briefs and pants before wandering out. He found Jonathan in the kitchen. “Hey, um, I hope you’re not upset, Jon. Drew went home with Der, so… I came over here.”

“I can see that,” Jonathan snapped as he wiped down the counter unnecessarily. “I’m not blind. And of course the big dork has Drew. Right when I need him most.”

Brandon cleared his throat. “I’m sure he’ll be home soon. Can I help you with anything?”

Jonathan whirled, eyes blazing. “Yes. You can tell me what the fuck you’re doing in my bed! With my Vincent! And don’t you tell me he seduced you since he doesn’t do that and—”

“Jonathan!” Vincent’s voice came from the bedroom, clearly angry. “That’s enough! Bring the coffee and yourself and get in here. Now. Both of you.”

Brandon and Jonathan stood there for a moment, Jonathan still glaring and Brandon looking very blank. Jonathan picked up the coffee mugs he poured and swept past him. Brandon leaned back against the refrigerator and pushed his hands through his hair, blowing out a breath. “Goddamn it,” he muttered. Feeling frustrated he turned and followed.

In the bedroom, Vincent was sitting up, covers pulled up to his waist. His hair kept falling over half his face and he shoved at it irritably. He took the mug Jonathan offered him but his tone could have frozen icebergs. “I suggest that you amend your tone and explain yourself. Brandon is a guest in this house, here by my invitation. He is not an intruder, not some—”

The front door opened and Der’s chain-festooned boots sounded in the hall. He swung around the corner, calling out, “Hi, honey, I’m ho—” He stopped short in the bedroom doorway, bag of bagels in one hand, Drew tucked under his other arm. His face fell and he swallowed hard. “Um…bad time?”

“Oh, no, not at all,” Jonathon snarked. “Your timing, as always, is fucking perfect.”

Brandon, who was probably the most easygoing person in the room, had his limits. Der was where he drew the line. Vince opened his mouth to say something but Brandon beat him to it. “Hey, if you got a problem you can be pissed at me all you want, but don’t you take it out on Der.”

Naturally, Jonathan buried his head in his hands and started to sob.

“Sweet spirits give me strength.” Vincent rolled his eyes and pulled in a long breath. He ignored Jonathan for the moment and held out his arms to Drew. “Good morning, my love. Did you have a lovely evening?” Then he turned his gaze to Der. “Come in, dearheart, don’t stand in the doorway. So thoughtful of you to bring breakfast.”

Brandon, who felt about two inches tall now, had no clue what to do. Der came into the room and handed him the bag and kissed his cheek.

Drew murmured a good morning to Vince as he came closer but stopped to put his arms around Jonathan. He could never stand to see him cry. “What’s going on?”

Feeling a bit spurned, Vincent folded his hands in his lap. “Jonathan came home and found Brandon sleeping in the bed with me. Just sleeping, mind you. He had a…hissy fit. And I’m rather annoyed with him for making Brandon so uncomfortable.”

Drew kissed Jonathan’s temple, but since he wouldn’t look at him, he let him go and slid next to Vincent on the bed, kissing him good morning and smoothing his fingers over his hair. He knew better than to make any comment at all about Jonathan’s ‘hissy fit’, even if he did think it was just a wee bit hypocritical of Jonathan when he’d spent the night with Xavier.

“How come you’re home so early, Jonathan?” he asked, thinking that might be safe enough and hopefully might make him look up at least.

“’Cause…Dave…came home…” Jonathan hiccoughed out through his sobs. “And I… slept…on…the couch…”

“Ah.” Der shed his coat and plunked down on the bed next to Jonathan. “So you got kicked out of one bed last night, then you come home hoping to crawl into bed with your ever-predictable, ultra-reliable Dom and your sweetie, and you find this big lug in your spot.”

Jonathan nodded and threw himself into Der’s arms where he sobbed harder.

Drew, as compassionate as he was, was having a hard time feeling sorry for Jonathan when he was so obviously making Brandon feel like shit. He caught his eye and gave him a wan smile he hoped was reassuring. “He was upset the first time Der spent the night, too,” he offered.

“Jonathan.” Vincent’s voice had lost the chill edge but was no less firm. He handed over a tissue box and patted Jonathan’s knee. “That’s enough now. You’ll make yourself ill. If I had known you were coming home so early, I would have let you know. I’m sorry you had a bit of a surprise but it could hardly have been that much of a shock.”

He motioned for Brandon to come back to bed. “Everyone’s hungry. Dry your eyes and behave. It’s not quite fair of you to go off and see other people, with my permission or not, and expect me to wait in icy solitude for your return, now is it?”

Jonathan shook his head, trying his best to get hold of himself.

Drew suddenly had a suspicion but he kept his mouth shut on it. He kissed Vince’s cheek again and got up, taking Jonathan’s hand and pulling him off Der’s lap as well. “Come on, come and help me get more coffee for everyone,” he said, leading Jonathan out.

Brandon watched them go with a little sigh. He sat on the edge of the bed next to Der and gave him a little kiss, and patted Vince’s leg. “I’m sorry for making any problems for you, hon,” he said, even though he knew it wasn’t exactly his fault. “But I won’t say I’m sorry for staying over.” He smiled and leaned over to kiss the corner of Vince’s mouth.

In the kitchen Drew let Jonathan just stand and pull himself together in relative privacy, knowing it would be easier with just him in the room, while he got a tray and mugs out. He set them down and then put his arms around Jonathan, kissing and nuzzling him affectionately until he pulled a little smile from him. “Did Xavier say something to you? Was he being mean?” he asked, knowing how Xav could be sometimes. He thought that might be why Jonathan was so emotional this morning.

“Not…exactly,” Jonathan said with a little shake of his head. “We were, you know, going at it, and Dave came home unexpectedly while I was still shoved up inside Xav. And he hadn’t checked his messages and he had sort of an adrenaline attack. You know how Dave gets. Nothing he can help. And then he was OK, and Xav got bitchy with both of us and there was lots of yelling from the bedroom.”

He pulled Drew close. “I mean, sure, Dave must’ve set everything straight, ‘cause soon he was bellowing for a different reason. But everything felt kind of…off. Like I’d just been used and Xav didn’t even know it and wouldn’t have been able to explain it if I asked.”

Drew wasn’t so sure Xavier didn’t know what he was doing, and he was immediately indignant on Jonathan’s behalf. “So he fucks you, then treats you like shit, makes you sleep on the couch and kicks you out first thing in the morning. What an asshole.” He said, smoothing his fingers over Jonathan’s hair.

“Um…” Jonathan blinked in surprise over the fierce defense. “It wasn’t quite like that, sweetie. Xavier thought Dave would be crashing at DJ’s. He didn’t make me sleep on the couch. I just would’ve felt bad taking the bed. And he wasn’t even up when I left. I asked Dave to take me home.”

Drew pulled back a little bit to look at Jonathan face, his fingers caressing over his cheek as he searched his eyes for hints that he was just making light of things so Drew wouldn’t get upset. When he determined that Jonathan wasn’t making anything less then it was, his lips twitched a little bit. “Then why are you getting so worked up this morning, hm? Didn’t Xav take care of you…”

“No, no that was just fine…”

“Then give Vince a break. Did you really want him here lonely all night while we were off doing what we wanted?”


“Alright then.” Drew kissed him, soft and tender sweet. He twined his arms around his neck and let the kiss linger a bit longer then he’d intended just because.

Jonathan buried his face against Drew’s neck with a little sigh. “It just all felt a little… weird. And I wanted Vincent this morning, just wanted to crawl into his arms and feel normal again. And then I get here and nothing’s normal and he yells at me and even Brandon snaps at me and…” He trailed off, knowing he was sounding whiny and childish but unable to explain himself any better.

Drew held him, stroking his back. “I’m sure they didn’t mean to. Vince didn’t know you had a bad night, he just knew you woke him up early freaking out. And Brandon, I think he only snapped at you because you snapped at Der.”

Jonathan wiped at his eyes again. “I guess I made a huge, freaking idiot of myself again, huh?”

“No…” Drew consoled him with kisses and pets. “Maybe just a little bit.”

With a huge sigh, Jonathan gathered up the plates and mugs and made his way back to the bedroom where Der had Brandon and Vincent snuggled up on either side. He set everything down and knelt on the bed, hands on his knees, eyes on the covers.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t feel quite…right this morning and I lost my head,” he murmured softly.

“Beloved,” Vincent said softly. “It was more than losing your head. You made Brandon feel unwelcome and as if he had dropped an anvil on your feet.” His fathomless eyes pinned Jonathan where he knelt. “I suggest you make a more thorough apology.”

Hands twisting, Jonathan eyes darted to Brandon and back to the bed. “I’m sorry, Bran. That I made you feel bad. That I was such a bitch. I’m…sorry I shrieked at you.”

Brandon leaned forward and took Jonathan’s chin in his hand. “It’s alright, honey.” He said, and gave him a soft kiss. It was very sweet, and very Brandon to forgive so quickly. It was probably a very good thing the two of them weren’t in a paired relationship or Jonathan would have had him wrapped around his little finger in no time, until Bran had enough and left, which had been how more than one of his relationships ended.

With a little sniff, Jonathan flung his arms around Brandon’s neck and clung tight. He truly did feel bad. Brandon was one of the sweetest men he’d ever met.

Brandon gathered Jonathan up and pulled him into his lap to snuggle and spoil him. Vince rolled his eyes. Der looked amused, Drew relieved.

Feeling just a little bit smug with himself for getting Jon to calm down and now that everyone was smiling again he made a little half jump and dropped across the end of the bed.

“Such a lovely sight,” Vincent said with a little smile around a sip of coffee. “Did Der tire you out last night?”

“Oh no. He insisted we not do anything too strenuous and go to bed early so we could bring you breakfast in bed.” Drew said with a completely straight face. He was lying on his front and he looked at Der with a slow smile as he bent his knees up, his heels almost touching his butt in a pose meant to give him flashbacks to last night.

“Vince, honestly,” Der said on a long breath. “How do you look at that night and day and not have your heart stop?”

“I take it the ‘nothing too strenuous’ was nevertheless interesting,” Vincent purred. “My kestrel, I think you’re overdressed.”

Drew lifted his hips a little bit and reached under to unfasten his pants. Knees and shoulders still on the bed he hooked his thumbs in the waistband and slid jeans and undies down the curve of his butt to his thighs.

“You took home my sweet Drew and brought back this naught boy,” Vincent said with a husky little laugh. “Does anyone feel like dessert first?”

Drew wriggled his hips enticingly and shimmied the rest of the way out of his pants.

Der watched Drew’s antics with a little smile on his face. He wasn’t sure what came over him, maybe just leftovers from last night, but that irresistible little wiggle was…well, irresistible. He leaned up, one long arm making it easy to reach over and give that cute little up-turned butt a playful swat that nonetheless made Drew flinch and gasp at the loud crack.

While not really into the whole spanking thing, that one well place swat warmed more than his cheek. The smoky look he gave in return was smoldering hot.

Der ventured a look over at Vincent and stilled. Those dark eyes had narrowed, one long, pale hand clenched tight. A wrong move, a wrong word now and he might find himself the brunt of an ice storm. Only half a heartbeat passed, though it seemed longer, before Vincent fought through his territorial instincts and relaxed again.

He crooked a finger at Drew. “Come up here, my bad little kestrel. You are too delicious for words.”

Jonathan stirred to join him as well but Vincent gestured him back. “You, beloved, will stay where you are for the moment. You’ve hurt Brandon’s feelings and I expect you to make him feel oh-so-much better.”

“As you command, Oh Prince of Night,” Jonathan said with a grin, his hand already stroking through the fur on Brandon’s chest.

Drew came up on his knees and pulled his shirt off, tossing it aside. Naked, he dropped back to all fours and prowled up Vince’s legs slowly. Even though Der had taken care of him very thoroughly the night before he was quivering with horny need now. His soft lips pressed to Vince’s in a hot, tongue-tangling kiss that was definitely a little on the aggressive side.

“I missed you, too, my love,” Vincent got out in a breathless whisper.

Drew pulled the covers down off Vince’s hips, curling down with a few hurried kisses along his chest before he wrapped his tongue around Vince’s stiffening member.

The press of the little tongue stud shot streamers of flame through Vincent’s limbs. “Oh…dear…gods….” he gasped out. “Der, why is my Drew so starved?” He stroked through the short bristles of Drew’s hair, concentrating on keeping his hands gentle.

“For you, Oh Prince of Night,” Der repeated Jonathan’s phrase in a heated whisper. “For you, we all would crawl on our bellies across burning sands–” He leaned in to capture Vincent’s moan with a tender, thorough kiss.

“Bad enough he sings in bed,” Jonathan muttered as Brandon peeled him out of his shirt. “Do you gag him sometimes?”

Brandon whispered something in Jonathan’s ear and smiled at the giggle he got from him. He nuzzled and kissed just behind his ear while his hand roamed over his chest and down to his waist to undo his pants.

Drew’s wet mouth slid slowly down Vince’s expanding shaft as he hummed his pleasure. His hands slid up Vince’s chest and back down in a caress, as if he couldn’t get enough of touching him.

Drowning in pleasure, Vincent wished he never had to come up for air. One hand stroking Drew’s skin, the other tangled hard in Der’s hair, he used them both as leverage to rock his hips gently in time to Drew’s lovely mouth.

Brandon’s lips nudged Jonathan’s gently, kissing him with building heat. He had to smile though, when he noticed Jonathan’s attention kept creeping back across the bed. He didn’t blame him. The scene unfolding over there was hot enough to melt lead. Drew’s lean nude body braced over Vincent’s as he went down on him was enough to distract anyone.

“Sorry,” Jonathan whispered with a little grin when he noticed where Brandon’s head had turned as well. He slid down to pull a nipple into his mouth and peeled the slacks down Brandon’s hips. The fireman really did have a nice hose, all ready and hard for him, though he managed not to say anything like that. Brandon was probably sick of the joke.

“Don’t be sorry.” Brandon murmured against his skin. “I’ll just have to try harder to get your attention,” he said with a mischievous little grin. That said, he flipped Jonathan over onto the bed, not roughly but enough to let him know he meant business. His hands moved under Jonathans hips and unfastened his button and zipper and he yanked his pants off in one smooth jerk. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Jonathan’s pert little globes, his hands caressing his hips in slow soothing circles. “Do I have your attention now?” He purred, kissed the base of his spine.

The sudden move, the position, the strength in those large hands conspired to hurl an icy spear through Jonathan’s belly. He stilled, willing himself to keep breathing. Brandon, Brandon, Brandon, he repeated over and over in his head. “Yes,” he squeaked out. “Bran? Hold me? Please? For a minute?”

Brandon turned him over, his hands caressing up his sides as he moved up over him. Resting on his elbows he cupped Jonathan’s face in his hands, fingers smoothing over his brow as he smiled at him, his expression somehow both sensual and kind. He kissed the tip of his nose and did nothing more, trusting Jonathan would proceed, or not, as he wanted.

Jonathan wrapped his arms around Brandon’s ribs and held on tight, face buried against his chest. He drew slow breaths, pulling in Brandon’s scent, mixed with Vincent and sex. He rubbed his cheek against the chest hair, realizing it had been awhile. All of his recent lovers either waxed or didn’t have much body hair.

“Mmm, fur,” he murmured, letting his hands start to roam.

Der was in an absolute agony of indecision. He wanted his Brandon, he wanted Drew, he wanted them all. He sat up in the middle of the bed and settled for watching the lovely bodies writhing on both sides, waiting to see where his body led him.

Drew lifted his mouth from Vince’s cock, wrapping his hand around the shaft and swirling his tongue around the head. He looked up at Vince, his expression teasing as he flicked the little stud in his tongue back and forth slowly over the little slit.

“My love,” Vincent got out on a soft moan. “I won’t last that way.” He tugged at Drew to bring him back up so he could whisper in his ear. “Would you like to take me?”

Drew felt the whispered words tickle along his ear and pool like molten heat in his middle. He nuzzled along Vincent’s throat and pulled back enough to smile and him, and urge him to roll over onto his front. His hands swept down Vince’s smooth back and up to gather his hair to one side so he could nibble along the nape of his neck. “I want you so much…” he whispered there, kissing a line of fiery kisses down to his shoulders.

He fumbled the cap off the lube and slicked his fingers, pressing them to the tight little O between Vince’s cheeks and sinking inside him. The little moan he got made him quiver with need.

Brandon stroked his hands over Jonathan’s sleek body while he placed warm tender kisses along his jaw and down the side of his throat. He suddenly let out a soft little chuckle. Jonathan looked at him quizzically. “You have glittery stuff on your neck and chest. If I didn’t know better I’d say you were out all night with a stripper.”

Jonathan’s lips curled into a wicked grin. “I bet there’s glittery stuff other places, too, if you look hard enough.”

With Brandon’s tight muscular butt on one side and Drew’s sexy little globes on the other, Der had an inspiration. “Chocolate cake or chocolate ice cream…why not have both?” he murmured.

He nudged Brandon over so he and Jonathan lay closer to Vincent. Jonathan had already spread his thighs for Brandon, one stroking the backs of his legs. Didn’t take much to get the little beauty to relax anymore. Der stole one of his hands, lubed his fingers and guided them to Brandon’s puckered entrance.

Drew nibbled along the edge of Vincent’s ear, his warm breath caressing the dips and ridges there as he lined himself up with his entrance. A few tentative nudges and a little push and the head of his cock was being squeezed in a tight ring of muscle. “oooooh… Oh, Vince, god that feels so…” He couldn’t even think of words to describe it. His throat worked as he swallowed hard and sank a little deeper.

“Mmm, yes it does,” Vincent agreed as he rolled his hips into Drew’s intrusion, encouraging him and pulling him deeper.

Der borrowed one of Brandon’s hands and soon had his fingers teasing at Drew’s back door. He decided he should probably start with Brandon. His control was better than Drew’s who, once started, careened off like a little freight train and could rarely stop himself.

He removed the three fingers Jonathan had already worked into Brandon and eased the head of his cock inside his gorgeous love.

Brandon nearly had a meltdown. So many sensations at once. Jonathan’s legs around his hips, pulling him closer, the head of his cock pushing up against Jon’s tight slick little ring, Der pushing into him from behind, the way Drew flexed and moaned when he pushed a lube coated finger between his cheeks and entered him.

“Love…gods, you’re so tight,” Der whispered, thrusting in time with Brandon’s strokes into Jonathan.

When he had Brandon panting hard, he pulled out and shifted over a few inches to remove Brandon’s fingers and ease the head of his cock inside Drew.

Drew’s legs parted further and he arched his neck, a soft cry of pleasure forcing it’s way past his lips. His fingers tightened where he gripped Vince and he rolled between the two, impaling Vince with a hard thrust and slamming back to take Der.

“Like that, do you, sugar bear?” Der got out in a strangled whisper. He rolled his hips to get deeper, pulled out to his second ladder rung and thrust back in just to wring another one of those lovely sounds from Drew.

“Uh huh…” Drew moaned for him. “Mmm, yeah…I like that.” He panted, burying himself in Vince’s tightly clenching sleeve. He licked the back of his neck and placed a sucking kiss there.

Der’s extra weight made it nearly impossible for Vincent to push back but he did manage to roll his hips. He buried his face in the pillow with a hard groan, the friction of two bodies thrusting on top of him driving his rock-hard erection into the mattress.

“Drew…” he whispered. “Harder, love.”

Drew lips moved along the back Vince’s neck, his teeth nipping at him with a small husky growl. He had his arms wrapped around Vince and his hands curled over his shoulders, his long delicate looking hands were actually quite strong where they gripped him and pulled him back as he thrust forward hard and deep.

Vincent and Der’s moans washed over Drew in a harmonic echo. Der’s cock drove in harder to mimic Drew’s thrusts and he clenched his teeth hard when he felt Drew’s body tighten around him. “Come on, sugar bear, attaboy. You know you want to…”

“Aaah…aahh…” Drew’s eyes squeezed shut and his lips sucked hard at the tender skin of Vince’s throat. His body went rigid just before he came in a hot rush, pulsing deep inside Vince and spasming around Der’s turgid invasion.

Long, pale fingers fisted in the sheets as Vincent squirmed beneath Drew’s assault. He let out three gasping cries and came hard on the heels of Drew’s orgasm, heaving and writhing with every pulse. Jonathan was going to fuss about the sheets but it was well worth it.

Der stilled, eyes shut tight as he tortured himself. Drew’s heated sheath squeezing him so tight…gods…exquisite. Panting hard, he managed to hold on and eased out of Drew with little kisses to his shoulders and back. Without so much as half a breath, he returned to Brandon and slid back inside with a deep groan.

Brandon had his arms around Jonathan, his lips locked to his while he undulated in a slow, steady rhythm. Watching Drew sandwiched between Vince and Der, watching his utter abandon, was like being next to a white-hot flame fanning their own passions higher. But Bran knew what Der had in mind, and purposely took it slow to wait for him to come back. As Der sank into him, he no longer had to wait.

His lips nearly bruised Jonathan he kissed him with such heat. The powerful muscles of his back and thighs drove into him harder and faster now, rocking between him and Der the same way Drew had. He let go of Jonathan’s lips only to sear down the side of his throat, a softly heated moan gliding over his skin. “Come for me, Jon…” he whispered.

“Bran…ohgod…” Jonathan lifted his legs higher around Brandon’s ribs and heaved upwards, impaling himself harder on that thick cock. “You feel so good…ohdamnoh…”

Brandon seized his lips again as he came with brain-melting force.

Brandon went with him, plunging and bucking as his body was overwhelmed with the tight squeeze of Jon beneath him and the hard pike of Der behind.

“My love…gods, so beautiful,” Der whispered and curled forward to fasten his teeth on the hard muscle of Brandon’s shoulder. He drove in hard once more and held still, letting Brandon’s body grip him vise-tight. Then with soft, desperate cries, the pressure climbed too high and he exploded to join the chorus.

The five of them lay in a contented panting heap, not exactly like Der had pictured the night before, but close enough.

Drew was the first to move, pulling slowly and gently from Vince. Holding himself up on his arms he looked down at the smooth column of his lover’s throat and saw the mark he’d made. “Oops.” He bent his head and placed a soft kiss there. “Sorry…”

With a soft growl, Vincent turned far enough to seize Drew and tumble him to the bed beside him. “Don’t, my love, ever apologize for your passion. I will turn you over my knee and spank you breathless if I feel you’ve held yourself back.”

He smiled at the little giggle he received and then turned his head to speak in a soft, tender voice, “Beloved? Are you feeling better now?”

“Rrmmmph,” came the muffled response from beneath Brandon.

Still nuzzling lightly at the crook of Jonathan’s throat Brandon lifted off him gently on hands and knees, seemingly with no effort despite Der’s long body still sprawled across his back. “Better?” He asked, in a softly amused murmur.

Jonathan gave him a sleepy smile. “I didn’t mind the weight. But, yes, better.”

Still nestled inside Brandon, Der wrapped his arms around that barrel chest to keep from sliding off. The gentle soul masked the power in that body and Der’s cock twitched as he moved effortlessly with his burden. “Ye gods, I love this man,” he murmured against Brandon’s shoulder.

With a little sigh, he slid back to take his own weight on his knees and eased out so he could flop down in the middle of the bed. Brandon nestled close on one side and Drew on the other with Vincent curled close around him so his head rested atop Drew’s and on Der’s shoulder while Jonathan slid between to put his head on Der’s lap.

“Puppies in a basket,” Derelict said with a soft laugh.

Chapter 285 – Club Night (1)

They were seated at a table on one of the risers ringing the dance floor with a perfect view of the stage and all the people jumping around down there. Jonathan leaned over to say something in Vince’s ear, the music and noise too loud to be heard unless he shouted. Drew had a little smile on his face, not quite ready to wade into the crowd yet. Der and Brandon joined them with smiles and waves just as the lights pulsed, plunging the place into utter darkness for a heartbeat.

The lights came up, several bright-white spots swinging as one to the stage as ‘Ladies and Gentlemen’ began to creep through the audio system. Xavier, dressed in jacket, ultra fitted black pants and top hat wandered casually out of the shadows for the set opener. He glided down the length of the T-stage and by the time the song shouted, Do You Want It, Do You Need It, Let Me Hear It, he had the crowd screaming along with the lyrics. It was a perfect opener to whip up the energy of the crowd and Xav worked the crowd beautifully. He was down to just his tight pants by the end of the song.

Drew watched Xavier dance, but his eyes kept returning to Vince. It was more fun to see his reaction. Or, non-reaction. He sat and watched with a little smile on his face, occasionally laughing at something Jonathan said in his ear, but Drew could tell he was enjoying the show.

Two guys who looked like they spent every spare moment in the gym joined Xav on the stage. The music in the background was just a repetitive beat that somehow got under the skin and made one anxious, in anticipation of what would happen next. Each of the body builders carried a pail decorated with candy. Xavier made a play of it, moving around them, and peeking into the containers as they walked down the stage, making the audience think there must be something really good in there. As they reached the end of the stage, they reached in and tossed out handfuls of suckers and packages of multi-colored condoms over the crowd.

This apparently was a well-known signal to those who had seen this routine before and was greeted with a frenzy of cheers and shouts. The last of the candy passed out, one of the guys took the last sucker and on bended knee presented it to Xav. He took it, unwrapped it and very deliberately rolled his tongue over it before sticking it in his mouth as Lil’ Wayne’s Lollipop came up on the speakers.

If the first dance got the blood pumping, this one diverted it all directly to the sexual organs. It couldn’t have been any hotter if those beefcakes had stayed and Xav licked them instead. He got down to a thong, but somehow that bulge in the side of his cheek and the sucker stick at the corner of his mouth vied for what was most enticing to look at.

Halfway through the song Xav did something unexpected. He turned and disappeared off the stage. A moment later, the lights found him and followed him across the railing between the dance floor and the first tier. He stepped off onto his friends’ table and continued the dance, undulating that graceful body in ways that looked like it used more muscles than a person had in their body.

Drew laughed and Xavier bent to run his hand over his soft bristles of hair and kiss his forehead. His body swayed with the beat as he danced. It was impossible to say if Xav timed it, but when the song said, I Get Her On Top, She Drop It Like It Hot, Xav managed to be right in front of Vince and turned, dropping down until his ass was just above his ankles (and consequently about five inches from Vince’s face.) He came back up with a shimmy and swing of his hips. He produced a sucker from who knew where and gave it to Vince with a wink.

It was right about then a few guys in tee shirts stenciled with the word ‘security’ in white came over and picked Xav up off the table. He waved at them over the guy’s shoulder as he was carried back through the crowd to the stage and lifted back up on it. He made even that look graceful and like it was all part of the show. The crowd certainly loved the little unexpected personal performance.

Vincent twirled the lollipop between his long, white fingers. His expression remained fixed but his eyes were a bit glazed. He gestured and Drew leaned in close so he could speak in his ear. “I feel quite privileged.”

Drew grinned and kissed the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, I don’t doubt he’s gonna catch hell for that little stunt.”

Brandon leaned into Der, his hand resting warmly on his thigh. “Do you think Dave would mind if…”

Der laughed. “Yes, he would.”

Brandon laughed too. “I’m surprised the place doesn’t burn down nightly.”

“And that’s why any hell Xav catches won’t be more than a couple seconds,” Jonathan said in a break in the music. “They know what he’s worth. And he knows just what he can get away with.”

Rodney followed Xavier into the dressing room. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” he yelled at him, as Xav pulled his pants on.

“Take it easy, Rod. They’re friends.” Xavier chuckled.

“And if you fell off the damn railing and broke your pretty little neck, guess who’d get blamed?”

“Probably me.” Xav smiled.

“Well, don’t do it again. Stay on the stage and off the tables.”

Xav gave him a salute and kissed his cheek. “Yes, sir. Now get the fuck outta my way so I can go say hi.”

Rodney rolled his eyes and moved.

Xavier took a slightly less conspicuous route to the table and slid into Jonathan’s lap, putting his arm around him and grinning. “If you see Zeph coming, let me know, so I can hide under the table, okay?” He kissed his cheek. Not that he expected to get in that much trouble, but if he avoided the boss tonight, he’d probably forget about it by tomorrow.

“I’ll protect you,” Der offered gallantly, puffing up his chest.

Jonathan snorted. “Right. Zeph would snap at you and you’d curl into a whimpering ball.”

“Would not.” Der stuck his tongue out.

“Oh, now, you can’t do that unless you’re gonna use it.” Jonathan chuckled and leaned over Xavier to give Der a tender, tongue-tangling kiss. Then he returned his attention to the lovely in his lap. “And you. What am I gonna do with you? Embarrassing Vincent like that.”

“I have some ideas,” he said, grinning suggestively and making Jonathan laugh.

“Where’s Dave tonight?” Brandon asked conversationally.

“Getting his dick sucked.”

The look Brandon gave him was so adorably shocked Xavier had to laugh.

“Now that sounded a little bitter,” Jonathan commented close to Xav’s ear and low enough that only he heard, and maybe Vince.

Xavier gave him a level look. “Just being honest. Why would you think that?”

“You wouldn’t have put it that way if he was with Katya.”

“Noooo… if he was with Kat I woulda said he was on his knees getting his ass paddled.” He said. “Now, if you’re done analyzing, you wanna come dance with me?”

“I don’t analyze.” Jonathan poked him in the ribs. “I just observe.” He lifted Xavier off his lap and slid up his body as he stood. “And yes, to the dancing with you. Vince, please?”

“I would be unusually cruel to bring you here and say no,” Vincent said with a laugh. “Go. Enjoy. I have plenty of company, beloved.”

Xav pulled Jonathan along with him into the throng of people gyrating to the pulsing beat. With this many people it was hard to actually dance, it was more a press of bodies that moved together. That close it was hard not to tell Xav was happy to be wrapped around him. “Think Vince will let you come home with me tonight?” he said just below his ear.

“Oh, so that’s how it is,” Jonathan said with a wicked grin as he nuzzled at Xav’s ear. “Davey’s out tonight and you’ll be all lonely.” He ground his pelvis against Xavier. “We could ask.”

“If I was just lonely I could have picked anyone,” Xavier said, brushing his lips along the edge of Jonathan’s jaw.

“Oh.” Jonathan wasn’t sure what to say to that. His hands slid down Xav’s back to tease along the top curves of his perfect butt. There was something wrong here but Xav’s lips and body pressed to him scattered his thoughts. He put a finger under Xav’s chin and tipped his head up to seize his lips in a hungry kiss.

“Go take Drew,” Brandon told Der. “I’m happy here.” Which was very true. He wasn’t much of a dancer but wasn’t quite ready to admit that to Der yet. Drew gave him the perfect excuse since he looked just like Der about then, hardly able to sit still in his seat.

Der didn’t need much encouragement. He grabbed Drew’s hand to pull him along in the same direction Xavier and Jonathan had disappeared.

Bran smiled after them, looking relieved.

With a wave of his lollipop, Vincent had Brandon take the seat next to him so they might hear each other. He watched all the beautiful people dance, an activity which used to cause him all sorts of discomfort and jealousy. But now he watched his own boys, their grace and beauty, and he found he could simply enjoy.

“I’m not quite comfortable out on the dance floor, either,” he said to Brandon and gave his arm a reassuring pat.

Xavier shamelessly monopolized Jonathan for at least an hour before he let him go ask Vincent if he could come home with him while he went and got his stuff. When he came back out, he thanked Vince with a kiss to his temple and took Jonathan’s hand, leading him out into the parking lot. He sent Dave a text that Jonathan was going to keep him company tonight, as his ‘courtesy call’.

For a pair that hadn’t exactly started out as friends they were comfortable enough now to talk and laugh most of the way home, although Jonathan couldn’t resist a few digs about Xav’s driving, belting up and closing his eyes as he was certain they were headed for a collision at least twice. They made it to the apartment all right though, not a scratch or dent.

“Do you want anything to drink? Hungry?” Xav offered after he locked the door and kicked his shoes off.

Jonathan took his shoes off with more dignity and lined them up by the wall. “Parched. You’re not exactly easy to keep up with on the dance floor.”

He found a bottle of water shoved in his hand and he chuckled before he took a long drink. Xav knew he didn’t drink–couldn’t drink, and knew better than to tempt him. He ran the tip of his finger down the elegant curve of Xav’s neck. “Hungry, yeah. That, too.”

“Oh, good.” Xav smiled and coaxed him down the hallway. “I have just the thing for you, right in here.” Jonathan chuckled at his antics and followed him into the living room. Xav pulled him into a kiss as soon as they were past the door, his hands sliding around his hips and caressing up his back. He kissed him deep and slow, and then stepped back to pull his shirt off and shimmy out of his pants.

“You’re so damn beautiful,” Jonathan murmured on an appreciative sigh while he unbuttoned his shirt. “Should be in some exotic temple somewhere, surrounded by flowers and people on their knees…”

As if to demonstrate, he let his shirt fall to the floor and fell to his knees at Xavier’s feet. Rather than go for the bulge waiting for him in the pouch of Xav’s thong, he curled over with his hands behind his back to lick at the fine bones of Xavier’s ankle.

Xavier grinned and lifted his foot to Jonathan’s shoulder, curling his toes. “I am worshiped at the temple, the one called Switchbacks. Only instead of being on their knees they go into ecstatic dances, and instead of flowers they throw money.” Xav chuckled. “And on very rare occasion I take one of the temple goers home to worship me until morning.”

“Ah, one of the lucky few,” Jonathan murmured as he turned his head to nuzzle Xav’s foot. Men’s feet tended to freak him out but Xav’s were so perfectly cared for and manicured, he didn’t have a single squeamish thought.

He licked up the back curve of Xav’s calf and kissed behind his knee. “And how would you like to be worshipped, oh, beautiful one?”

“Oh, well… I think you’ve got a good oral start.” Xav said, sliding his fingers into Jonathan’s hair as he came up further.

“Mmm…” Jonathan’s brain slipped a gear as he nuzzled against a hard thigh and caught the scent of Xavier’s arousal, sweet and spice and oh, damn, so delicious. Hands still behind his back, he rose up on his knees to kiss the curve of Xav’s hip. Gently, carefully, he moved inward to catch the top edge of the thong in his teeth and ease the material down.

Xavier looked down at Jonathan with a heated gaze. “Mm, that’s even better. You gonna lick me like a lollipop, sweetheart?”

“Mmhmm.” Jonathan breathed along the hard cock that sprang free of its lycra prison. “My favorite.” He flicked his tongue over the tip and moaned at the taste as he licked along the flange.

Ordinarily Xav would have let him do as he pleased, for as long as he pleased, but he’d been hot all night and wasn’t in the mood for a slow tease. He moved one hand to his shaft and rubbed the head of his cock over Jonathan’s soft lips, pushing past into the moist heat of his mouth with a hiss and a low groan of pleasure.

Jonathan took the direction eagerly and slid his lips down Xavier’s cock, almost to his base. At first he sucked gently, letting his lips feel every bit of delicately veined shaft. Then he slid his hands up to rest them at the tops of Xavier’s thighs and with a soft moan, sucked hard.

Xav let his eyes slide closed, his head tipping back. “Uhhhmm…so good.” He breathed, rolling his hips as Jonathan plunged down on him. “Ohh, yesss…”

The response was so uninhibited and sincere, Jonathan thought he might come just kneeling there still half-dressed. He loved his sweet, sexy Drew to distraction and his heart belonged to his gorgeous Vincent but there was no one in the world who put off the kind of heat Xav did.

He let his hands slide back to knead his cheeks, pressing and separating the smooth globes, letting himself fantasize about sinking in between them.

Xavier’s fingers caressed along Jonathan’s scalp, guiding him slightly as he rolled his hips and pushed deeper into his accommodating mouth. He bit his bottom lip on a soft hiss, loving every minute of his skilled attention. He felt Jonathan’s hands caressing and cupping his butt with each little flex. “You want to top this time, sweetheart?”

With a little squeeze and a lick to Xav’s tip, Jonathan pulled back with a soft smile. “Oh, hell, yes.”

He leaped to his feet and took Xavier’s hand to pull him to the sofa. With gentle prods and nudges he got Xav turned and bent over the upholstered arm, his lovely ass displayed to best advantage.

Xav turned slightly at the waist, looking over his shoulder with a seductive smile.

“Freaking sizzling,” Jonathan whispered as he undid his belt and dropped his pants. He curled in close to lick a wet line down Xav’s crease and wasted no time attacking the sweet puckered entrance offered to him.

Xavier hollowed his back, bending a little more and spreading his legs a little wider. He slid a hand down to caress over his very hard cock, wrapping his fingers around to stroke lightly. So good…his head was swimming with heat and desire.

Jonathan’s tongue plunged inside the tight ring, heat pooling in his groin at the shuddering moan he elicited. He’d wanted to go slowly, to savor and tease, but his body took over and shoved him along. His briefs joined his pants on the floor, though he did take the two seconds to pick up his clothes and drape them neatly over a chair arm. With Xav wet, ready, and panting, he couldn’t wait any longer. He angled his cock down, spread Xav’s cheeks with his fingers, and slowly pushed his head inside.

“Ooohhh…” Xavier exhaled as Jonathan pushed into him. He held still for a moment and as Jonathan sank a little deeper, he flowed with his movements. “Mmm… Jon, that feels so good.”

“You feel so good,” Jonathan got out in a strangled whisper. Xav was so tight, so hot, god, he was going to pass out. He gripped Xav’s hips and pulled him back into him, setting up a fierce, passionate rhythm that had them both panting.

Xavier pushed back against Jonathan, his body asking for more, deeper, harder… He lifted up so his back fit along Jonathan’s front and turned his head so he could catch his lips in a searing kiss.

Jonathan turned his head to whisper against his skin, “Xav…oh…christ….I’m coming…so fucking hard…”

Xav rode it with him, his hips gliding with Jonathan’s bucks, his hand working hard on his own turgid cock. Jonathan curled him forward, still moving within him. He kissed and nibbled along Xav’s shoulder, and Xav wasn’t far behind him. His chest heaved and his body went tight, a soft needy groan vibrating though him as his hips jerked suddenly and he bucked through his own quaking orgasm.

When Xav’s legs started to tremble, Jonathan kissed along his shoulder blades as he drew out slowly. He turned Xavier in his arms and scooped him up to place him on his back on the sofa before he slid in next to him. There had been a time when he gladly would have punched Xav’s lights out as soon as look at him. Things changed. Now he couldn’t help the flood of protective tenderness that came holding him close.

Xavier snuggled down into Jonathan’s arms, feeling content. However, the feeling didn’t last long with his warm naked body pressed up to him. It wasn’t too long before he was placing little kisses along his shoulder and nuzzling the base of his throat, his hand stroking lightly over his heated skin.

“You’re lucky I’ve been taking my vitamins,” Jonathan said in a mock growl. His hands were ahead of him, though, stroking along the length of Xavier’s back. He had the most wonderful skin, so soft and smooth.

He tipped Xav’s head up to capture those luscious lips for a tender, searching kiss.

Xavier responded with a surge of passion, returning the softly seeking kiss with molten fire and sliding his one hand lower to caress between Jonathan’s thighs. He slid one leg over the top of Jonathan’s and moved to straddle his hips, still kissing him like he wanted to memorize every bit of his taste. “Mmm-uh, I want you so much.” He murmured against his lips.

“I’m right here, baby,” Jonathan purred, his hands stroking Xavier’s thighs. “You take whatever you want.”

Xavier kissed his way down Jonathan’s throat and over the smooth skin of his chest, stopping to kiss, suck, and tease at his nipples. As passionate as he was, he wasn’t in a big hurry this time around. He took his time, exploring Jonathan with his mouth quite thoroughly. He licked, kissed, and nibbled over tight abs and straining cock, the soft orbs of his balls and down lower between his delectable cheeks.

His hand caressed restlessly over him as well, drawing out the pleasure until he had Jonathan tossing his head and a light sheen of perspiration covered them both. Only then did he straddle Jonathan’s hips again, lowering himself onto his renewed erection. They both groaned hard as Xav sank to Jonathan’s pelvis and ground against him, tilting, and rocking his hips.

Even though Jonathan was still technically topping, he let Xav lead. His only move was to grip Xav’s hips to balance him. Otherwise, he simply moved with him, matching his rhythm, his every downward stroke. With the edge off, it was easier to relax and savor every sensation, every lovely sigh and moan Xav made.

Xavier began to move faster, one hand stroked Jonathan’s chest and the other stroked his throbbing cock. The muscles of his thighs and ass flexed as he moved sinuously over Jonathan, his abdominals suddenly tightened and his head tipped back on his shoulders. “Uhhhh….ohgod,I’mgonnacome…” His fist moved faster until the first pearl white rope shot from him up Jonathan’s chest. “Aaahhh! Oh, yeah… mmm…”

Lip caught between his teeth, Jonathan clenched down and forced himself to wait, to watch this gorgeous sight. Xav writhed atop him, though, and he couldn’t hold out any longer. He gripped hard, his back arched up, lifting Xavier from the couch, and he cried Xavier’s name softly as he came again in firecracker pulses.

He was just reaching the point where he could see again, when a voice came from behind them.

“Xav? You still up, sweets? It’s—” Dave’s voice choked off, then continued in a whisper. “Oh, my freaking god.”

All circuits for motor and speech control were not exactly back online yet for Xavier. It took a second for him to have a thought, and that first thought was, ‘thank god he didn’t come in thirty seconds sooner’. His very next thought, which by some strange quirk of fate managed not to come out of his mouth was, ‘what are you doing here?’

“Um, hi, sweetheart…” Xav looked over his shoulder. “You didn’t get my message?” Dave seemed incapable of movement or speech himself at the moment, so Xav continued. “I thought you were staying at DJ’s. I sent you a message that Jonathan was coming home with me to keep me company.”

Dave’s head jerked down automatically to the cell phone in his hand. His thumb punched at the buttons, his mouth working without any sound. “Oh.” He said in a tiny, strangled voice. “So you did.”

He turned and stumbled to the kitchen, muttering something that might have been, “I’ll be in here if anyone needs me…”

Xavier took a breath and let it out slowly as he looked down at Jonathan. “I, uh, better…”

“Yeah…” Jonathan made a little gesture of understanding toward the kitchen.

Xav leaned down to kiss his lips tenderly before he got up, pulled on his pants, and followed Dave into the kitchen. He was pouring juice into a glass when Xavier came up behind him. “Hey… are you mad?”

Dave downed the juice, his hand shaking so much he almost spilled it. “Mad…no…” He took a long breath, then another. “Just surprised. Not good for me, yeah? Surprises. My own damn fault for not checking.”

He gripped the counter with both hands, white-knuckled as he tried to stop the sudden, nauseating adrenaline surge. “Just didn’t like the idea of you waking up alone. So Deej said, go, go home. So I did…” He closed his eyes, teeth clenched against the jackhammer shakes racing through him.

For not being mad, he was sure doing a good job of making Xav feel like an asshole. Xavier touched his arm, pulling it gently away from the counter and sliding it around him as he slid in front and put his arms around Dave. He wasn’t sure if he should apologize or if that would make it worse. He settled for just holding him, nuzzling into his shoulder.

“Sweets…I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” Dave forced out through chattering teeth. He wrapped his arms around Xav and held on hard. “Christ on freaking toast…sorry I’m such a freak…” It was Jonathan for fuck’s sake, not some stranger Xav had picked up in some alley. But somehow the sight of Jonathan wrapped around Xav…shoved up inside Xav… had freaked him out like nobody’s business.

Xavier kissed his cheek softly and ran his fingers soothingly over his hair, shushing and cooing to him until he began to shake a little less although he still held on to him tightly. “Honey, it’s not like I haven’t been with Jonathan before… if you’re not mad then what’s wrong?”

“I mean…I know you’ve been with him,” Dave began and held his breath to try to calm his voice. “But I’ve never, y’know, seen you with him. And it’s Jonathan…and it’s just kinda weird for me. Kinda like…kinda like if you found me in bed with Vincent or something.” He took another breath. “OK, maybe not that weird.”

“Hm, I don’t see what’s so weird.” Xavier said. “Now, if it had been Sebastian, that might be weird.” Dave lifted his head and looked at Xavier like his eyes might fall out of his head. Xavier managed to keep a straight face. “Or your dad, that would be really weird.” Dave’s expression looked like he’d just took a swig of sour milk and Xav had to laugh. “I’m kidding, Dave, jeez.”

He brought both hands up to cup his cheeks. “I’m sorry I freaked you out.”

Dave turned his head to kiss one palm and then the other. “S’OK, sweets. I’m the dumbass who forgot to check his phone.” He leaned forward to kiss Xav’s forehead. “I’ll sleep on the couch if you want. Kinda mean to kick Jonathan out at two freaking a.m.”

“Mm.” Xav agreed, leaning a little closer for a more lingering taste of Dave’s lips. “I’ll go ask Jon what he’d like to do.” He gave him one more tender kiss and slipped out of his arms.

In the living room, he found Jonathan sitting on the couch, although he’d prudently pulled his pants on as well. Xav dropped next to him and put his arm around him. “He’s ok, just surprised, you know. It’s ok for you to stay, if you still want to.”

Jonathan flopped back against the couch. “Well, since you drove, it’s either stay or call a cab. And cabs at two in the morning are not my favorite thing.” Not to mention the fact that Vincent would have a fit about him wandering around the city so late alone. Which was ridiculous, of course, but he couldn‘t say that to Vincent. “I can sleep here.”

Xav laced his fingers with Jonathan’s and kissed the corner of his mouth. “Okay. Just let me get some blankets and pillows for Dave.”

“Whoa! What?” Jonathan reared back in shock. “No, no, I meant I’d sleep here.” He patted the couch. “I am so not kicking Dave out of bed! Vince’ll kill me if I don’t come home in one piece in the morning.”

Xavier wiped a hand over his face. “Okay…I’m so not going to choose for you guys. Dave…” He called and waited until he came out of the kitchen. “You guys figure out which of you is sleeping on the couch, or we can all share the bed, or you two can and I’ll sleep on the fucking couch. Just someone figure it out,” he said in exasperation as he got up and headed to the hall closet for the extra pillows and blankets.

“Um…hm,” Dave got out at his most eloquent. “I, ah, told Xav I’d sleep on the couch, Jon. It’s not real comfy and shit. And it’s not like you didn’t have…that is…already…”

“Well, yeah…but it’s your bed,” Jonathan countered, shifting his feet under the coffee table. “And your…” He ran a hand back through his hair, then looked up at Dave with a sudden thought. “You and Xav take the bed, hon. I’m fine out here. Really.”

Dave opened his mouth to protest again like a good host and caught something in Jonathan’s look. Oh, right. He probably should. “All right, sweets. You and me in the bed. Jon says he’s good out here. Happy?”

“Fan-fuckin-tabulous.” Xavier said, putting an armful of bedding on the couch next to Jonathan. He touched him briefly and kissed his temple. “Good night.” He looked at Dave. “I’m gonna take a quick shower.”

He headed down the hall and into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He turned on the shower and adjusted the temp, stripped out of his pants and got in. Needles of hot water blasted his neck and back while he stood there. For no reason at all he suddenly felt like crying. What the hell was wrong with him? He picked up the shampoo and quickly worked a lather into his hair, rinsed and then just stood there for a while.

He shook his head. Fuck. He was fucked up. He turned off the water, got out, and wrapped a towel around him. He wiped a hand over the steamed mirror and gave a startled gasp that if it hadn’t caught in his throat would have emerged a scream. The face looking back at him had a black eye and bloody lip, his chest mottled with bruises. He looked down quick, holding out his hands and saw nothing out of the ordinary. Looking back in the mirror, he saw his reflection just as it should be. He let out his breath, feeling dizzy. Jesus, what the fuck…?

Taking another deep breath he quickly toweled off and headed to the bedroom.

Dave sat on the bed in his boxer briefs. He’d already cleaned up at DJ’s, not wanting to come home reeking of sweat and sex. When he reappeared, Xav’s face was too blank, and the little bit of worry nagging at the base of Dave’s spine blossomed to crawl up his back. Something was profoundly wrong here.

“Come here, sweets,” he said gently and held out his arms for Xavier to crawl into his lap. He thought he’d start with the most obvious and see where it got him. “Were you mad at me, love? For leaving you all alone tonight?”

Xavier snorted. “No, I’m not mad at you and no I didn’t fuck Jonathan because I was lonely. I am capable of being alone for a night. Geez.” He rolled his eyes. “Jonathan was just… he looked good tonight, and it’s been awhile since we got together. Can’t anything ever just be uncomplicated?”

Dave’s hand rested in the center of Xav’s back. He peered at him for a moment or two. “I guess so. Mind telling me why you’re snapping my head off and being so defensive, then?”

“I’m not…snapping.” Xavier tapered off a bit more quietly. He sighed. “I’m sorry, I think I’m just tired.”

“If that’s all it is, good, wonderful.” Dave wrapped his arms around Xavier and pulled him close. “But if you’re hiding stuff from me…not so good. I know I’m not good at…reading between the lines. But something didn’t feel right when I walked in and something doesn’t feel right now.”

“Let’s just go to bed, alright?” Xavier said, sliding off Dave’s lap.

Dave reached for him, sensing he was still avoiding something. Xavier jerked back, bringing his hand up defensively. Both of them could tell it was a reflex reaction, and Xavier was immediately contrite, coming into the circle of Dave’s arms and holding onto him tightly. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”

“Xav…did you think I was going to hit you?” Dave asked, more than a little unsettled.

“No!” Xavier said quickly. “No…no, I know you wouldn’t.”

“Xavier, tell me what’s going on! You’re really starting to freak me out.”

“I don’t know! I’m sorry! I’m tired. I didn’t expect you to come home. Maybe you just freaked me out a little bit.” He gulped a breath and let it out shakily. “When I got out of the shower and looked in the mirror… I don’t know. I thought I saw me from sometime else. For a second.”

Dave set him back by the shoulders and stroked the still damp hair from his eyes. Flashbacks, yeah, he knew all about those, knew they could be more real than reality sometimes. “What’d you see, sweets?” he asked gently.

Xavier scrubbed his hands over his face, his shoulders slumping. “It looked like someone beat the shit outta me. It was only for a second.”

“Yeah, it’s like that a lot. Just for a second or two.” Dave nodded, fingers still stroking through Xavier’s hair. “Any idea when it was? When you looked like that before? Those bruises, that look on your face?”

Xavier snorted. “I’m supposed to pick just one? Hell, I don’t know Dave. There were a lot of times.” He said, sinking back down on the bed. He really was tired. So tired. He lay down, his eyes half closed as he thought about what dark part of the past was oozing up to interfere with his life this time.

Why hadn’t he had all these issues when he lived with Kat? Well, he’d had some issues, but not so bad. Had he really buried so much? He thought he was happy when he was with her, he’d gotten free of Josh finally and gotten cleaned up. Moving in with her had seemed like he could just forget life before she existed. Maybe that was the problem. He had consciously and determinedly forgotten anything that was painful.

So why was it different now? With Dave? Maybe because with Dave, he was his one. As soon as he thought it, a shard of memory jarred him.

“Relax Xavier. It’s no big deal. You know you’re the one I love,” Josh cajoled, stroking his fingers over Xavier’s cheek.

Xavier looked away, the pit of his stomach an icy knot. He still wasn’t used to Josh saying he loved him. In fact he’d just started to actually believe it, had even said it back to him once. And then he came home early and found Josh fucking some guy on the couch. He immediately turned and walked out. Josh had run after him, tried to get him to come back in, and Xavier had stubbornly refused.

He had been really young, and really stupid, totally in love and totally heartbroken. He told Josh to fuck off and angrily stomped off.

He wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings, or maybe he was just so pissed he didn’t care. He didn’t notice the guys following him until it was too late. They jumped him in an alley he was cutting through. He didn’t remember a whole lot of the beating. He remembered he had been crying and they called him a fag. He remembered saying that fucking guys made him a fag, not crying. He remembered not caring that they were going to beat him harder because of his mouth. They had got his arms pinned and beat the shit out of him, then dropped him on the concrete and left him bleeding.

He remembered crawling home to Josh when he could move again. “I think I remember when that was.” Xavier said, and told Dave what had happened.

“Fuckers,” Dave said softly. Yeah, it was years ago and nothing he could do about it, but it still made him mad as hell. He willed himself to stay calm for Xav and pulled him close again, keeping his hands gentle and soothing. “And then what? What’d Josh say?”

Xavier gave a little shrug. “He said he was sorry it happened. He took care of me. It sort of put the whole thing with me walking in on him fucking someone else out of the picture. I needed him. I could hardly get out of bed for a few days, and didn’t have anywhere to go even if I could have. Now I think he was probably glad I got jumped, so I had to go back.”

“I was really young, and I thought it was supposed to just be me and him.” He shook his head at himself.

Dave mulled that over. Slowly but surely a thought crept in on soft, invasive feet. He put a gentle hand on Xav’s stomach, trying to soothe the trembling there. “Sweets…does it… do you ever…I mean…just you and me? Is that what you’re thinking sometimes?”

Xavier gave him a slow, lopsided smile. “No, Dave. I’m not that kid anymore. If we try and go down the road to monogamy one or the other of us is bound to fuck up and cause a whole shitload of unnecessary heartache.”

“OK.” Dave’s brows still knit together, his hand still describing slow, soothing circles over Xavier’s middle. “But every once in awhile, I’m still gonna ask. Just to make sure, yeah?”

“I’m not going to change my mind.” Xavier said. “Besides, that would affect more than just you and me. There are a few people that would be unhappy with that decision, including you.”

It was Dave’s turn to smile. “I know you feel like that now, love. And you’re right. But maybe someday, you know, if you can still stand to be with me and we’re older…maybe someday we’ll feel different. Dunno if I could still get on my knees for Kat when I’m sixty, right?”

“Ok, we’ll talk about it when you’re sixty,” Xav said with a little grin.

Dave chuckled, happy to see the clouded, guarded expression clear from Xavier’s face again, and pulled him over for a soft kiss. “Damn, I love you so.”

“I love you, too,” Xavier murmured, kissing his lips softly.

Dave’s little boy smile nearly melted Xavier’s heart into a puddle. “So you wanna snuggle and sleep or you wanna mess around first?”

Xavier lips moved across his in soft nudges and kisses. “What, didn’t Deej take care of you right?” he teased lightly, his fingers slowly caressing down the center of Dave’s chest. He’d been very well taken care of himself tonight, twice, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t go again.

“Yeah, but I’m greedy as hell,” Dave murmured as he rolled on top of Xavier .

“Ah, one of the things I love about you.” Xavier snickered as he wrapped his legs around Dave’s waist and pulled him down for a heated kiss.

An hour ago, Dave would have sworn up and down he was done for the night. But with Xav wrapped around him, his body said otherwise in a dizzy rush of blood to his groin. He moaned into their kiss, pressing close to rub their growing erections together. His fingers dove into the soft mass of blond hair as he kissed Xav harder, a sudden, fierce need sweeping through him.

Xavier’s hands slid down Dave’s back, kneading gently at the taut muscles, he squeezed when he reached the curve of his cheeks. “uhh…I want you inside me…” he got out in a breathless murmur between kisses.

“Anything…to oblige…” Dave growled against Xavier’s skin as he planted heated kisses along his jaw. He snagged the tube from the nightstand drawer without lifting his head or leaving the warm envelopment of Xav’s limbs.

It might not have been the first time that night but he still wanted to be careful. Gently, lubed fingers probed between Xav’s cheeks and teased at his opening before easing inside. Oh, yeah, the boy was ready, and opened for him easily.

Dave smiled against Xav’s throat, angled his cock down, and rolled his hips to slide the head inside that deliciously tight ring.

Xavier pressed his head back into the pillows with a groan of pleasure. His stomach muscles bunched and rippled as he pushed up against him, the gentle squeeze of his fingers digging in a bit harder as Dave sunk lower into him. “Ohhh…yes, baby.”

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Dave knew a territorial reclaiming when he saw it. But he wasn’t concerned about it and the primal part of his brain growled, damn straight it is, buddy.

He slid his arms under Xav to hold him tight, lips and teeth devouring the skin of his neck and shoulder. His hips rolled gently as Xav took his whole length and then shifted to long, slow thrusts in and out that had his head spinning.

Xavier lifted his knees higher, sliding his calves in a caress up Dave’s sides until he was nearly bent double. His heels rested on Dave’s shoulder blades and his toes flexed and curled at each slow, deep thrust. Dave sucked at the base of his throat as he pushed into him hard and a hot burst of pleasure and desire shivered all through Xav. “Oh, god… so fuckin’ good…” he murmured huskily against Dave’s hair.

They had both slaked their lust quite thoroughly earlier, but that didn’t dampen the urgency or the passion of their lovemaking, it only prolonged it. Soft moans and whispered words of desire were murmured as their bodies melded together.

Long slow strokes and deep kisses played out as their skin grew damp with their exertions.

The climb took a long time, but was so worth the effort. Every touch and stroke and kiss becoming a layer bringing them closer and closer. Xavier clung to Dave with one hand and stroked along his aching hard prick with the other as Dave’s thrusts picked up speed, his hot breath warming his ear and sending shivers down his back. “Ohhh, oh, yeah…mmm”

Dave felt the sudden shift in him, the tension climbing swiftly now, and drove into him harder, each hard thrust hitting up against his prostate and sending starbursts through his middle. “Uhhhh….oh, Dave…I’m coming.” Xav bit his lips, a deep groan rising in his throat as the pulse of his orgasm rocketed through him in a blinding wave.

Dave cried out when Xavier’s body clutched hard around him. God, it felt like he was trying to squeeze the stuffing out of him sometimes. He buried himself deep, teetering on the edge and let Xavier’s bucking, pulsing orgasm hurl him over.

“Ohchrist…love…ohdamn…” he whispered against Xav’s hair before the first spasm hit him hard and he bellowed out his release.

In the front room, Jonathan smiled and snuggled farther into his blankets. Good. They’d worked it all out then. Whatever it had been.

Chapter 284 – Morning Sonata

Drew woke fairly early. Early enough that Jonathan and Vince were still asleep. He crept over Vince, and got a sleepy murmur but he just rolled back over. He went down the hall to use the bathroom, closing the bedroom door to let them sleep on. He peed, and then took a look in the mirror. The hospital mirror had only showed him from the shoulders up. It was a bit of a shock to get the whole picture.

He looked…weird. Skinny, almost gaunt, and bald. Drew didn’t have the best self-image as it was. To his eyes the reflection seemed like something he’d seen in pictures about the holocaust. Jeez.

He turned around and got in the shower. He didn’t notice it at first, but as he turned on the water he realized he was feeling some trepidation. He’d had several ‘episodes’ in the shower and was still nervous that something was going to happen. That he’d see something, or hear someone…

Nothing happened though. He got in and washed. He even used the shea butter body wash Jonathan left for him. When he finished he got out, dried off, went to his room and got dressed, tying a clean bandana around his head.

The bedroom door down the hall was still closed. He thought about making breakfast, but when he went through the living room he got sidetracked and went to the piano instead. His fingers caressed lightly over the keys. It felt like forever since he’d played. He had so many scores in his head that he needed to get down on paper.

Not this morning though. Not right now. All he wanted right now was to play something sweet and simple. His fingers settled on the keys, the first airy notes lifting softly and a blissful smile crossed his face as he dropped into the music.

In the bedroom, Jonathan came awake slowly, gently roused from a lovely dream. There was a comforting, familiar sound…

He sat up with a start and Vincent’s eyes blinked open. Those dark eyes looked up at Jonathan in a puzzled way and then Vincent smiled. “He’s home.”

“Yes, and he should be in bed,” Jonathan fretted.

“Hush, beloved. This is rest for him, too. He needs it.” Vincent levered himself up and shifted towards the edge of the bed. He snagged a robe from the back of a chair. “I’ll go start breakfast.”

“No, babes.” Jonathan yanked on a pair of track pants and came to crouch in front of him. “I’ll get breakfast. You go listen.”

“All right.” Vincent gave him a soft kiss and made his slow way out to the living room.

Drew was not so lost that he didn’t see Vincent come into the living room. He smiled at him, and finished the piece. “Did I wake you?”

“Yes, love, but it was a lovely way to wake up,” Vincent answered with a smile.

Drew rose and came around to sit with Vince on the couch. “Vince, can we go somewhere? Like, go and see something not within a mile radius of here? Before I go back to school?”

A little frown of concern skittered across Vincent’s face. Drew had been so exhausted just a few hours before. He didn’t want to deny him anything reasonable, though. “And what sort of something would you like to see?”

Drew sat back with a sigh. “I don’t know. Something that means something. Like a pyramid, or an ancient temple, or a volcano, or something…” He stopped and sighed again, then chuckled. “Oh forget it.” He waved a dismissive hand. “It would take too long to plan… I just…never mind.”

Vincent stared out the patio doors a moment. The day promised to be slightly cloudy, on the cool side, one of those days when he didn’t mind so much venturing outside.

“I have a thought. We don’t have to go too far. Trust me?”

Drew slipped his hand into Vince’s. “I trust you more than anyone, Vince,” he said, a little too seriously.

Vincent gave him a puzzled look and then he snickered. “To the ends of the Earth, then,” he said with a rare laugh and tumbled Drew onto his back on the sofa to give him a soft, lingering kiss. “I think we need some breakfast first, though.”

Drew returned the kiss, a little smile on his face. “Yep. Breakfast sounds good.” He dropped his voice to a conspiratorial whisper in Vince’s ear. “I don’t know which I’ve missed more, Jonathan or his cooking.”

Vincent whispered back, “Luckily, they come as a set.”

The promise of an outing perked Jonathan up as well. It wasn’t something they did often and the feeling of occasion spilled over into high spirits and a good deal of teasing. With everyone showered and dressed, and Vincent’s broad-brimmed black hat in Jonathan’s hand, they trooped out to the van.

Jonathan tried to wheedle their destination out of Vince for the first fifteen minutes but then, at a particular turn, he stopped badgering, a little smile on his face. They had turned onto the University campus and Vincent pulled into a parking lot. He led them across the street through where trees hid a structure of some sort. As they made their way up the little path, a stone gate appeared and a sign that read ‘Edward Burns Miller Japanese Garden.’

For Drew, walking through that gate left the city far behind.

Vincent drank in his expression. How he loved to watch those beautiful hazel eyes take in something new. “It’s not a pyramid, my kestrel, but it is a place of significance.” He pointed with his chin to a bench by a nearby pond. “I will sit over there and watch the koi. Go explore. Enjoy the day. And when you’ve had time to form your own impressions come back to me and I will tell you why this garden is important. At least to me.”

Drew slipped his hand into Jonathan’s as they walked down the foliage lined paths. The sound of running water and birds and the absence of any traffic noise made this place seem like it was far more secluded than it actually was.

“Jonathan?” Drew said.


“You know why this place is special to Vince, don’t you.”


“You’re not going to tell me, are you?”


Drew shook his head but didn’t press. The feeling of peace here was almost overwhelming and for a long time Drew did nothing but walk side by side with Jonathan quietly. Finally they returned to the place where Vincent sat, watching brightly colored shapes move in the water.

Drew sat down next to him. “I could take a nap here.”

“Do you need one, my love?” Vincent looked over at him in concern and then smiled at the look Drew gave him. It was hard not to treat him like spun glass but Drew was still Drew and would prefer not to be.

“Drew’s been just torturing me for the answer,” Jonathan huffed as he sat on Vincent’s other side. “So you better spit it out, babes.”

Vincent cut off Drew’s ‘have not’ before the protest could get out. “There are two reasons, actually. And Jonathan only knows one.” He pointed a long, elegant finger to the foot bridge spanning the little stream nearby. Lily pads of various colors and sizes decorated the water, an altogether lovely spot. “Right there, on that bridge, was where my mother proposed to my father twenty some years ago.”

“Aw…” Drew smiled. “What a perfect place. Very romantic.”

“She was a romantic,” Vincent nodded, his voice soft and distant. “In many ways. She’d woven engagement rings for them out of corn silk. My father still has them both. ‘You don’t want me,’ he told her. ‘I’m not brilliant like those people you work with.’ And she told him ‘Don’t tell me what I want, Lastrada. Never that.’ Of course he said yes.”

Jonathan slipped an arm around him, he suddenly sounded so sad. It was never good for Vincent to get all maudlin about his mother. “Well, at least some people’s parents have nice proposal stories,” Jonathan offered in a dry voice. “My father probably had my mother served with palimony papers which she answered with a counter proposal that they probably hammered out over three-martini lunches.”

He leaned in to kiss Vincent’s cheek. “You said there were two reasons the place is special. So give.”

The little smile returned as Vincent went on, “My father brought us all here one day when I was about fourteen. One of those days when he was feeling better. There weren’t too many those first years after she died.”

He shook his head. That wasn’t what he wanted to say. “He had taken my sisters off to show them the garden and I was sitting here, thinking. Enjoying the peace. A man came strolling down the walk, elegantly dressed. I didn’t pay much attention but I thought him old since he walked with a stick and his hair was white.”

“Imagine my surprise,” he looked over at Drew. “When this man sat down beside me and swept off his hat to reveal a young face, perhaps in his late twenties I thought, with skin as white as his hair. ‘Ve are the same,’ this strange man said. ‘Brothers of the skin.’”

Drew smiled with Vince at the memory. “I didn’t know you’ve know the Prince that long.”

“Yes, he’s one of my oldest friends. Though I have to say I found him a little intimidating at first. Those eyes. I mistook the look for a predatory one. Predator, yes,” Vincent chuckled. “But not of children.”

Drew leaned over and kissed Vince’s cheek. “Thank you for taking us here, Vince.” They sat for a few more moments in quiet, soaking up the beauty and peace around them and as it sometimes did Drew’s mind wandered to another beautiful garden, this one indoors though, and at night. He smiled at the memory and then chuckled, which of course made Vince look at him curiously.

“I was just thinking that it’s probably a good thing I wasn’t wearing a necktie today.”

Jonathan choked on a laugh and fell into a fit of coughing.


“I wonder.” Vincent’s brows rose as he looked from one to the other. “If this is one of those things I’d rather not know.”


Drew laughed and shook his head. “No, nothing bad.” He told him about the night of the recital, after Vince and Der had fallen asleep, how he and Jonathan had been ‘caught’ by the Prince enjoying the conservatory.


“Such naughty boys,” Vincent said much too seriously. “And keeping secrets from me, too. Tsk.”


“I thought the Prince would have told you,” Drew said.


Vincent kissed Drew’s cheek and turned to give Jonathan a long look. “No, my love, the Prince is too discreet and would have believed the more senior of you would have taken care of that, as is proper.”


“I meant to,” Jonathan blurted out, his hands spread wide. “And then, you know, with everything. It sort of slipped my mind.”


“Ah, well. I suppose it isn’t that enormous of an infraction. Though you know I can’t let it go entirely,” Vincent said in as stern a voice as he could muster though his eyes danced.


Jonathan hung his head in a good show of despondent repentance. “No, sir, I suppose not.”


“Are we going home to mete out punishments then?” Drew asked in far too chipper and eager a tone, knowing that any ‘punishment’ was certain to be more playful than anything else right now.


Vincent heaved a tragic sigh. “Yes, I suppose we really have no choice at this point. Jonathan, you may drive us home.” Which, of course, meant he wanted Drew in the backseat with him just to torment Jonathan a little before they got there.


Drew was happy enough to slide in the back with Vincent. He tried to feel sympathy for Jonathan as he shamelessly made out with Vince but it was hard to feel anything but desire. He had missed him so much.


When they got home, Vincent said, “My coyote, you may go to the bedroom and prepare yourself.”


“Yessir,” Jonathan murmured, his contrition spoiled by the little gleam in his eyes.


Vincent took Drew in his arms and kissed him once more. “Any requests, my love?” he whispered. “As to how you would like Jonathan?”


Drew thought about it for a second. “We should dress him in one of the things he’s always trying to get me to wear.” Which was no ‘punishment’ at all for Jonathan, but it certainly was an unusual request for Drew.


One black brow crept up Vincent’s forehead. “Really? Hmm, well. There is a rather sweet set he bought with the garters, isn’t there? The one in red?”


“Okay.” Drew agreed, apparently not overly concerned with the particulars. Which told Vince that he probably wasn’t all that interested in dressing Jonathan up for his own sake, but more than likely made the suggestion because he knew it would get Jonathan all hot and bothered…and maybe Vince too.


“My kestrel…”


Drew kissed him to cut him off. “Don’t overanalyze Vince, please? It’s not a big deal.”


Vincent stifled the little sigh that wanted out and let it go. Instead, he turned towards the back of the condo and called out, “Jonathan? Get out the silk covered box from the top drawer. The cream-colored one. Let us know when you’re ready.”


While they waited, Vincent leaned a hip against the recliner so he could free a hand and untie the bandana from Drew’s head. He slipped the cloth off gently and kissed Drew’s forehead. “You have fuzz,” he said with a soft smile.


Drew brushed a self-conscious hand over his head. “Hopefully I won’t look like a gawky alien for too much longer,” he said with a little laugh.


“You are beautiful, my love, with or without the hair,” Vincent said softly, though he knew Drew wouldn’t believe him.


“I’m ready!” Jonathan called from the bedroom.


“Someone sounds eager,” Vincent said with a wink and turned to walk with Drew to the bedroom.


Jonathan knelt on the bed, practically quivering with excitement. He had taken everything out of the box and put on each piece with great care. The little red bikini panties barely covered his ass and the lace around the edges just made them more stimulating. The garters, lace again, held up red lace stockings which had a floral pattern running up and down each leg. Silk, satin, nylon…the combination of textures was making Jonathan crazy.


Maybe it was only because he’d been feeling self-conscious a moment before, but looking at Jonathan, Drew suddenly felt like a toad. He moved over to the bed though, sitting down next to Jonathan and running a fingertip lightly down one garter. He quickly squashed the feeling of inadequacy and focused on how gorgeous Jonathan was, and how very aroused. Leaning back on one elbow he kissed Jonathan’s hipbone. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, and Drew was so damn lucky.


“So are you,” Jonathan whispered, letting his hand slide down Drew’s throat.


“Now, did I say you had the use of your hands, beloved?” Vincent said in mock exasperation.


Jonathan snatched his hand away and put them behind his back.


“Better.” Vincent eased down onto the bed, put his crutches aside and patted his lap. “Come here, my coyote. Face down.”


On his knees, Jonathan went to him and managed to slide across Vincent’s lap without using his hands, an astonishing feat of balance. Vincent caressed the satin and lace on Jonathan’s backside then brought his hand down in a sharp smack, just hard enough to make a nice sound.


Jonathan moaned and pressed his erection against Vincent’s thigh. By the second smack his hips were rolling, by the third he was practically humping Vincent’s leg.


“Drew, would you like a turn?” Vincent asked softly.


Drew had so little blood left in his head it was forgivable that it took him a second or two to figure out if Vince meant for him to take his place or Jonathan’s. His long lashes finally lifted from the erotically tempting sight of Jonathan’s sweet ass in Vince lap and he looked up into Vince’s eyes with a little grin on his face.


He shifted on the bed, stretching out beside Jonathan’s legs. He ran a warm hand over his stocking clad thigh all the way up to the curve of his butt. Instead of a smack though he caressed over the satin and lace panties. A moment more and he eased them down just enough to frame his perfectly shaped ass. God, did he have the most beautiful ass, Drew thought and he leaned forward to kiss the slightly pink tinged cheeks.


“Ohgod…” Jonathan moaned and squirmed in Vincent’s lap. His hands were still locked behind his back and if someone told him to, he was going to come right then and there. “Oh, please…”


“Please what, beloved?’ Vincent asked and when the only response was a strangled sound, he went on. “Oh, you need another?” He brought his hand down again on Jonathan’s now mostly bare and incredibly enticing butt.


Drew looked up at Vince with a slightly impish grin and took the edge of the panties in his teeth, tugging them down a bit more and making Jonathan moan. With another quick glance up to make sure it was alright, he paused and then proceeded when he got an answering smile from Vince. Parting Jonathan’s sculpted cheeks with his long fingered hands he dipped between with his tongue, the tip skating around his entrance. “Mmmm…” he hummed as he kissed him there.


Jonathan’s head shot up on a little gasp and one hand twitched down to steady himself on Vincent’s thigh.


“Tsk.” Vincent shook his head and gently moved the hand back. “Someone who’s being punished needs to keep his hands to himself. Do you need help, beloved?”


With a little whimper and a squirm, Jonathan nodded. Vincent reached over and with a ghost of a smile, snagged one of Jonathan’s ties from the back of the chair.


“Fitting, don’t you think?” he said to Drew as he used the tie to bind Jonathan’s hands behind his back.


“Oh, yes,” Drew agreed with a breathy murmur. His fingers fanned out over Jonathan’s hips, caressing and kneading. He hadn’t realized how much he needed this until they had come into the bedroom. He well knew denial was a potent aphrodisiac, and they had quite a bit of making up to do.


He dipped down between Jonathan’s cheeks again, this time for a longer taste. His agile tongue laved over Jonathan’s pucker sinuously before taking the plunge within.


Vincent had a moment when he wondered whether he should leave them alone but then Jonathan nuzzled at his crotch and any such thoughts flew out the window. He scooted farther up on the bed, taking Jonathan with him so he would be safely in the middle of the mattress. Then he slid out from under Jonathan and scooted around so Jonathan’s head ended up between his thighs.


Drew followed as Vincent rearranged them, hardly missing a stroke, lick, or kiss. When Vince had them settled to his liking Drew shimmied quickly out of his jeans as he kissed his way up Jonathan’s spine one vertebra at a time.


“My love, you may make Jonathan come,” Vincent said as he undid his fly. “But I would prefer you hold off yourself.”


Jonathan squirmed forward without hesitation to take Vincent’s offered cock in his mouth, his lips closing around the head with a desperate moan.


Drew hesitated for a moment. He wasn’t sure he could stop if he was buried balls deep inside Jonathan when he came. He switched tactics and slid back down, every bit as delighted to continue where he’d left off a moment before teasing Jonathan with his tongue. He slipped his hand underneath to caress and stroke his cock and balls.


Jonathan’s hips lifted in invitation, pleading sounds issuing from around Vincent’s shaft.


“Fingers?” Vincent suggested helpfully and got a hard groan from Jonathan.


Yes, or Drew could just test his will power. If he went slow…he could hold on. He reached for the lube that Vincent so conveniently supplied and eased back up. He worked a good dollop into Jonathan’s back door as he slid his own knees up to spread Jonathan’s thighs wider. Lining himself up, he eased his cock inside his tight passage. Something about watching himself slowly sliding inside with Jonathan’s gorgeous ass framed in red was just about the sexist thing ever.


Drew gripped Jonathan’s hips lightly and pulled him back to meet him as he sunk all the way in. “Ohhh…Jonathan…” Drew crooned in a soft whisper, his head tilting back with a little hiss of breath as the tightness of his sheath gripped him hard.


“Mmmrph,” Jonathan answered with his mouth full. He tried not to move too much, knowing how hard it would be for Drew if he started to writhe and buck. It was a tough road, though, with his concentration scattered. The taste of Vincent filling his mouth, the feel of Drew’s thighs sliding along his silk-clad ones, Drew filling him so suddenly, it was enough to make his brain melt.


He pushed up and back just a little, got his knees under him and spread himself wider. Ohgod, this wasn’t going to take long.


Drew curled forward slightly, rocking his hips in a smooth motion. The way Jonathan lifted himself changed the angle slightly and he knew he was hitting it just right. He slid his hands up Jonathan’s sides and back down to his hips in soft caresses keeping his pace slow but steady and deep. He slipped one hand around to tease and stroke Jonathan’s cock, using his own slippery precum for lube.


Little whimpering cries came from Jonathan, faster and closer together with each thrust. Vincent stroked his hair gently and leaned down to whisper in his ear. Jonathan went wild. His bound hands clenched, he bucked under Drew and cried aloud as he came hard and fast.


“Oh, god….” Drew bit down on his bottom lip. Little surges of heat rose up through him and his thighs quivered with the urge to buck wildly and soar over with him. He fought the urge to come and managed to ride Jonathan’s ecstatic orgasm out. A few more strokes within and Drew suddenly pulled out, curling over until his forehead rested in the center of Jonathan’s back and breathing hard. He held back, trembling with need, but he held back.


“Perfect, my love,” Vincent murmured. He sat with Jonathan’s head in his lap now, stroking the dark curls while Jonathan tried to catch his breath. He reached down to untie his hands but otherwise left Jonathan as he was. With his red satin panties pulled down to the bottoms of his cheeks, and his body heaving with the after effects of a wild orgasm, he looked delicious.


Vincent moved once more, up the bed to lean against the headboard. He tugged off his pants and shirt and then held out his arms for Drew.


Drew eagerly crawled up into his arms and dove into a heated hungry kiss. Straddling his hips he rubbed his cock along Vince’s erection creating delicious sensations in them both.


Vincent’s fingers traced over one delicate ear. “My beautiful, elfin love.” He pulled Drew close to stroke his back and kiss along his jaw. “Tell me what you want.”


It took Drew half a second to realize Vince was actually asking him, not teasing him. “I want you to fuck me.” He whispered hotly over Vince’s ear, too far lost in a haze of lust to worry about niceties.


Desire speared through the center of Vincent’s body. His breath caught hard and he had to close his eyes. “I think that can be arranged.”


His hands slid down to cup Drew’s cheeks, fingers teasing along the crease. Something nudged his elbow and he chuckled when Jonathan shoved the lube at him. He managed to get a slippery finger inside Drew and then a second before his patience snapped. He watched Drew’s face as he urged him up on his knees, angled his hard cock at his entrance and pushed slowly inside.


Drew’s eyes fluttered shut and his head tipped back. “Uuuuhh, oh yes, oh…” he moaned as he sank down further on Vince’s cock. His thighs gripped Vince’s hips and his hands gripped the headboard behind them as he moved up and down on the slippery pole impaling him.


The strength of Drew’s grip surprised Vince, though he chided himself for it. Just because Drew looked like a soft breeze could lift him, it didn’t mean as much as it would with someone else. The resilience of that lovely, graceful body would never cease to astound him.


“Drew…oh, my love…” Vincent moaned. Jonathan’s mouth had nearly taken him over and now this, oh, Drew felt so good. “Come with me…”


Drew wasn’t sure if it was Vince’s words or if he was just there already but he felt the first pulse rise up and slam into him. He wrapped his arms around Vince tightly and kissed him with fierce passion, the ripples of delicious orgasm still washing over him, his thighs still flexing as he rode up and down on Vince.


Vincent watched the glory of that orgasm as long as he could and finally had to shut his eyes on a soft cry of ecstasy as his own climax roared through him. His hips rolled, his arms clutching Drew to him as if he were the last stable point in the universe.


Drew rested his forehead in the crook of Vince’s shoulder, his sides heaving, unable to move. Eventually he felt Vince, with Jonathan’s help, shift him. He curled on his side, a sleepy smile on his face, still unwilling to exert any effort yet as long as he was snuggled between the warmth of his lovers.


“Um…babes…” Jonathan unhooked his garters and wriggled out of the red silk and satin. “You’re gonna crush him that way.”


Vincent had pulled Drew in close, wrapping his arms around as far as they would go. “I won’t.”


“Vince…” Jonathan reached over to stroke the silk of Vincent’s hair. “You OK?”




“You’ll have to ease up sometime, don’t you think?”






“He’s safe here. Right here. Nothing terrible will ever happen to my Drew again. Ever.”


There was an odd, strangled quality to Vincent’s voice and Jonathan began to grow alarmed. “Well…um…he’s gonna have to pee at some point…”


“It’s okay, Jonathan.” Drew said softly without lifting his head from Vince’s shoulder. “It’s okay to cry, if you need to Vince. I’m right here.” He understood Vince’s sudden fierce need to protect him, and although Jonathan was right and he was going to have to let go eventually, he was not being smothered too badly. If it made Vince feel better, he would let him hold him all night.


A long shuddering breath shivered through Vincent, then another. The only way Drew knew he wept was the sudden dampness against his bare head. Eventually his grip loosened.


“I’m sorry, my love,” Vincent whispered, though he didn’t explain why.


Drew didn’t press him for an explanation either. He lifted his head though, and kissed his lips and then the tears from his cheeks, and his closed eyelids. He lay back then, still in the circle of his arms. It didn’t seem like they had done a whole lot but Drew was so damn tired, more than just a little fresh air and a healthy romp between the sheets really warranted, but he didn’t try and fight it.


“You wanna take a nap with him, babes?” Jonathan asked softly.


Vincent nodded and pulled the blankets up over Drew.


“All right. I’ll go start on dinner.” Jonathan got up, though he made no move to reach for clothes. “Babes? You know you’re the best thing that’s ever happened for either of us, me and Drew.”


“I’ll try to keep it in mind,” Vincent murmured and watched Jonathan wander out of the bedroom, stark naked except for his green suede collar.


Drew watched him go too, his eyes barely open, but refusing to close completely with that enticingly beautiful body swaggering out the door. Jonathan faded from view. Drew’s eyes closed. “I love you, Vince.” And then he was out.


“And I you, my kestrel,” Vincent whispered and kissed his forehead. “Thank you for a lovely day.”

Chapter 283 – Welcome Home

“You sure you’re up to this, babes?” Jonathan stopped his whirlwind progress through the condo to crouch by Vincent. “You still look kinda…”

Vincent arched a brow at him. “Kind of what? Dreadful? Like death riding in from a late night carnival?”

“Um, no. I was thinking more along the lines of ‘tired’.”

“Ah.” Vincent lay back against the sofa cushions. “Well, since I have you as my personal event manager, I have no need to even get off the sofa, do I?”

“Ducking the question, oh Prince of Dragons,” Jonathan said in a dry tone.

“I’m fine, beloved. Yes, I’m still tired but the need for ceremony outweighs such things. And we’ve only invited family.”

Jonathan chuckled and returned to his preparations for Drew‘s homecoming. ‘Family’ ended up at about twenty-five people but he knew what Vincent meant. Everyone coming was someone they felt close to, all comfortable, old friends along with Drew’s actual kin since his mother would be coming, too. Der actually got the honor of bringing Drew home from the hospital. Jonathan was a little irritated about that but it couldn’t be helped. Too much to do.


Drew finished tying the bandana in place at the back of his head. Looking in the mirror he didn’t think anyone was going to mistake it for a simple fashion accessory. He’d dropped a few pounds and his normally pale complexion looked almost translucent. With his hair gone he looked like a cancer patient. He actually felt better, but he still looked sick. He was going to have a hard time convincing Jonathan not to mother him. He stepped out of the bathroom, switched off the light and found he had company.

“Hey tiger, I hear the warden granted you a pardon,” Phil said.

“Yeah. Going home today,” Drew confirmed. “What are you doing down here? Don’t you have some nut cases to take care of?”

“Like I said, I heard you were getting a pass, so I came to say goodbye. The inmates can hold their own for a few minutes,” Phil said. “Vincent coming to get you?”

“No, Der is. I’ll see Vince and Jonathan when I get home.”

“You take care of yourself now. Don’t go doing too much right away.”

Drew rolled his eyes. “As if Jonathan would let me.”

Phil chuckled. “Right, right. Not much chance there.”

Drew smoothed the blanket on the bed and sat on the edge. It felt a little strange to be dressed in regular clothes again. “Phil…I, um… I just wanted to say, I’m sorry. You know, for trying to…” He made a little gesture toward the bathroom, remembering how he’d stepped out of the shower and got down on his knees in front of Phil because Josh had told him to.

“Now don’t go doing that. We both know you couldn’t help yourself. I’m just that damn sexy, you couldn’t resist,” Phil said, puffing up his broad chest and doing a little strut.

Drew laughed. “OK. Well, thanks for understanding.”

The sound of chain-festooned jackboots rang in the hall, no mistaking to whom they could belong. Der’s sharp-toothed grin was so bright it got there before the rest of him. “Hey, sugar bear! Ready to blow this pop stand? Hey, Phil! Are you our official escort or do we have to wait for someone else?”

“I’m here unofficially,” Phil said.

“I already signed the release papers.” Drew bounced up to kiss Der’s cheek. “Did you bring the bike?”

“’Fraid not, sugar bear. I like my head attached to my shoulders, and I’m pretty sure Jon would take it right off if I drove you up from the hospital on my chopper.”

Drew sighed dramatically but he was smiling. He gave Phil a hug, which the big man accepted a bit awkwardly at first and then settled on a warmly paternal hug in return. They said their goodbyes and Drew and Der were on their way.

As they got close to the condo, Drew suddenly asked Der if they could stop at the park.

“I promised I’d bring you right home. People coming over and all that.”

“I know… just, can we stop for a few minutes? Please?”

Der took the next corner and eased the hearse over to the curb next to the park. “All right. Couple minutes.” He got out and jogged around to the passenger side to hand Drew out. Yes, yes, the boy said he was fine but he looked like a soft breeze would blow him away.

Drew walked slowly next to Der across the grass and to the little trail that ran around the duck pond. It was late afternoon, almost evening. The shadows were long under the trees and the temperature was cooling. They walked past the bench they had once shared when Drew had spotted Der feeding the waddlers and feeling melancholy. A little further on, they passed the place where Jonathan had found him after he’d had a bad day and almost slipped back into an old life.

He didn’t know what he was doing here, why he wasn’t rushing home to see Vince and Jonathan. He should have been overjoyed, but he felt a little anxious. He knew he was making Der a little worried, too.

He supposed he just wanted to stretch his legs a little, breathe in fresh air not tainted with hospital smells. He had joked about being an ‘inmate’, but he really had felt like that at some points. Trapped. Caged.

Der was getting antsy, Drew could tell. They’d walked quite a way already and still had to turn around and go back. Drew stopped at the other end of the pond. Hands in his pockets he stood looking down into the water. The sweater he was wearing was enough to keep off the chill, but the wind went right though it and he shivered. He saw Der about to say something and Drew beat him to it.

“What do you think happens when we die, Der?”

Der blinked and had to regroup before he could answer. Ah. So it was that kind of mood. He put a gentle arm around Drew’s shoulders to offer his solid warmth. “Well, if we’re talking about me, I’m going straight to the devil since I’ve been such a bad, bad boy.”

No little laugh came from Drew, not even a smile. Not the time for bad jokes, obviously, you idiot. Der cleared his throat and began in a pensive tone. “I’ve never died, love, so I don’t know for sure. I used to believe in heaven and hell, when I was little. But those things didn’t make sense to me as I got older.”

He curled down to kiss the top of Drew’s head. “Vincent’s theory is that spiritual matter is like physical matter. It can neither be created nor destroyed. So there is no end. Only another beginning when you die. A new start. I suppose that’s closer to what I think happens. Not like I’m one of those people who claim to remember past lives. But I think we probably had them.”

Drew gave a single small nod, but didn’t look up. “What if there’s nothing? What if this is all we get? We know we’re here, and then we’re dead, and that’s it. Nothing. We’re just…” Drew shrugged. “Worm food.”

“Drew…” Der said softly.

Drew looked up at him. “I’m sorry, Der, I’m not trying to, you know, bum you out. Really.” He took a deep breath and put his arm around Der’s waist. He started slowly walking again, back the way they’d come. “Sometimes I think people just tell themselves there’s something after this, so they don’t get depressed or scared. I want to believe there’s something. I want to think that Angela and Vince’s mom…that they got another chance…even Josh…”

Drew took another breath. Maybe he shouldn’t have walked so far after all, he was tired.

“Nobody can say for sure, you know,” Der said softly. “And anyone who says they can is either deluded or selling snake oil. But if this really is it, a one shot deal, all the more reason to make the most of it, isn’t it?”

Der swept him up in his arms when he felt Drew’s steps falter. “There’s no reason we should be here at all. It’s magic, life, that it happens in the first place. And while we’re here, there’s beauty and there’s love and sometimes people even find a little happiness.” He gave Drew a soft kiss when they reached the hearse again. “I’d say that makes it worth the price of admission.”

Drew didn’t say anything more, but he returned Der’s soft kiss before they got in and finished the ride home.


“What the hell is taking Schiller so long?” Jonathan asked with a scowl.

“Patience, my coyote,” Vincent said and patted his arm. “You know how hospitals can be. Discharge is not always a swift and efficient procedure. They’ll be here soon.” His voice was calm but he understood Jonathan’s mood. Everyone else had arrived except the guest of honor and there had been no call to say they would be delayed.

“I’ll just go see if I can spot them, shall I?” Anthony offered on a bright smile and dashed out the front door. Various odd thumps and thuds followed and then booted footsteps overhead.

“Vince, that lunatic’s gone up–”

“Yes, beloved, I know.” Vincent pinched the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger. “Just let him go.”

The hearse slid up to the curb a mere five minutes later and once again Der came around to help Drew out. Not that he truly needed it but it made Der feel better.

From up above somewhere, a voice belted out, “Oh, Valencia! With you blood still warm on the ground…”

Der’s gaze traveled up and spotted Mad Anthony, balanced on the roof beam. He flung one arm up and answered, “Valencia, I swear by the stars, we’ll burn this whole city down… What are you doing up there, you muttonhead?”

“Looking for you, of course. Mr. Kemp’s having kittens.”

Der sighed. “Oh, fabulous. Come down from there and guard my back.”

“For you, big guy, anything,” Anthony said with a bright grin. He half-ran, half-slid down the roof, stopped himself just short of the edge, leaped off and caught himself one handed on the eaves before he landed as gracefully as any cat.

It was probably a testament to the strangeness of his life, but Drew wasn’t at all fazed to come home to people jumping off his roof. “Hi, Anthony,” he said as they walked up to the door.

“Hey, cutie! How’re you feeling? You need anything? Nice bandana. I like the blue. Good with your eyes. Jonathan’s got lots of food. You’re probably hungry. Hospital food sucks big time–”

“Dear gods, what’s Jon been feeding you?” Der muttered. “Bowls of sugar?” He peered more closely at Anthony who grinned and ducked his head. “No, wait. I haven’t seen you this perky in weeks. You’ve been getting some…”

Any further interrogation had to wait, though, as Jonathan flung open the door. “Drew! Are you all right?”

Guilt assailed Drew for the extra half hour he’d taken before getting home, but he smiled for Jonathan and slid his arms around him. “I’m fine, sorry we took so long.”

Jonathan hugged him close and kissed his cheek, but Drew noticed he was looking at him now in almost the exact same way Der had just scrutinized Anthony. Drew grinned. “No, we didn’t make a pit stop for a quickie.” He chuckled and nuzzled under Jonathan’s chin.

“Hmph. I would hope not. Just out of surgery and all.” Jonathan turned with an arm around Drew and led him inside, pointedly leaving Der on the doorstep.

Their progress was soon blocked by people wanting to see Drew, to hug him, to tell him welcome home, Jonathan put two fingers in his mouth and whistled sharply. “Hold on, ladies and gentlemen, and make a path, please. There’s someone Drew needs to get to first.”

The little crowd parted to form a friend-lined path, opening to reveal Vincent waiting on the sofa. He held his arms out and whispered, “Drew.”

As much as Drew would have liked to fling himself into Vince’s arms, he knew it was probably not a wise idea, and Jonathan would probably faint. He settled for a modest rush and wrapped his arms tightly around his neck as he dropped into Vince’s lap.

There was a soft ‘aww’ that lasted all of two seconds before Xavier rolled his eyes and commented, “Jeez, it’s like watching puppies snuggle or something.” Which got a few chuckles and giggles and diverted enough attention that Vince and Drew could have a semi private moment or two.

“Hello, my love,” Vincent whispered, their foreheads pressed together. “It’s so good to have you home.”

In the kitchen, Der had gone to help Jonathan carry things out and found himself backed into a corner.

“You said you’d bring him right home!” Jonathan stabbed a finger at his chest. “You promised! What the hell is wrong with you? Where the hell have you been?”

A hundred smart ass things occurred to Der but something about this little assault felt off. Jonathan had been treating him like…well, like he used to, when they’d first met, ever since Drew went to the hospital.

“He wanted to stop at the park,” Der answered softly. “He was having one of those ‘what’s the meaning of life’ moments. It wasn’t more than a few minutes. Jon? What have I done to make you hate me again?”

“Don’t be stupid. I don’t hate you.”

“I take you in ‘cause you’re too scared to go home, make sure you and Vince are looked after, and you haven’t done anything but snap and snarl at me since.”

Jonathan turned his back, hands flat on the counter. “I…I didn’t…”

“Yes. Yes, you did.” Der reached out a hand and pulled it back again since he wasn’t sure how even a gentle touch would be received. “Jonathan?”

“You…he…when Vince was so sick,” Jonathan began in a low voice. “I…I slept on the floor next to him. I wanted to be near if he needed me. But I wanted…I wanted to go to you, too. And I couldn’t. Because…because…”

“Because Brandon was in the bed with me?” Now Der put a hand on his shoulder and turned him.

Jonathan nodded, bottom lip caught between his teeth. “I miss you sometimes, you dork.”

“Jon…sweetheart…I’m sorry.” He folded Jonathan into his embrace and held him tight, though he had no idea how to make it better.

Brandon paused in the hall just outside the kitchen. He’d been about to see if they needed any more help. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop…but in a way he was glad he’d overheard before they knew he was there. Now would probably not be the best time to pop his head in. Feeling a little strange he quietly went back the way he’d come with Jon and Der none the wiser.

Shouldn’t he be upset that his boyfriend was trying to comfort his lover for not paying enough attention to him? Instead of being angry though, he felt bad for keeping Jonathan away. God, sometimes this was just so fucking confusing.

Jonathan heaved a breath and pushed back gently. “Christ, I’m sorry. You finally have someone who makes you happy and Drew’s home and everyone should be happy and I act like a bitch.” He waved a hand fretfully. “Don’t pay any attention to me. Too much stress.”

Though Der didn’t think it would help to just let things go at that, Jonathan was right about one thing. This was Drew’s day. He picked up a tray in either hand and let Jonathan put on his charming host face and pretend nothing had happened.

Out in the living room, Vincent trailed gentle fingers over Drew’s cheek. “Are there headaches, my kestrel? Are you feeling relatively well?”

“The headaches aren’t bad,” Drew said. “Dr. Lassiter says they’re normal. My head is sore though, like I clunked it on something and got the biggest goose egg in the world.”

“I suppose it’s a small price to pay for being able to see the world as it is again,” Vincent said softly. “I like being me in your eyes again and not someone else.”

Der put the trays down and was about to go over to Anthony to find out who he’d been seeing. Cold waves of panic washed over him when he saw Anthony lean down to whisper in Sasha’s ear and kiss his cheek. Jerrett was standing right there, for gods’ sakes. Anthony was trying to get his handsome nose bashed in.

With every intent of preventing a tragedy, Der started across the room, and then stopped in confusion. Jerrett had seen the interaction, leaned over to put an arm around Anthony’s shoulders with a sensual smile, and pulled MA in for a searing kiss.

“The things people don’t tell me,” Der grumbled to himself and went to find Brandon instead.

He found Bran off to the side a bit with Xavier in a seemingly intimate conversation.

They had their heads together a little too close to be engaged in just friendly chatting, which was almost more alarming than seeing Anthony with Sasha a moment ago. A quick scan of the room placed Dave preoccupied talking with Jonathan. Worse, when Der walked up they both clammed up for a second, and then got nearly identical expressions of nervous innocence.

“Hey big guy, watcha up to?” Xav asked with a smile.

“About two meters or so on a good day,” Der answered, his forehead creasing. “You know, I’m beginning to feel like the man who fell to Earth today. I don’t seem to quite be making the right communication connections anymore. You think maybe something might be broken? Signals not getting through?”

“It happens sometimes.” Xav said. “I’m sure it’ll work itself out. I’ll see you guys later.”

Brandon watched him go. He knew Der was waiting for him to say something, but he really didn’t want to get into it. Xav and him had been talking about some of the difficulties of making open relationships work. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Der to know what they’d been talking about, he’d just wanted another person’s perspective.

Brandon slipped his hand in Der’s and kissed his cheek. “You okay?”

“No, by all the gods, no I’m not,” Der growled, though his fingers tightened around Brandon’s. “Drew wants me to tell him where we go when we die and then Anthony looks like he’s swallowed a whole flock of canaries and doesn’t tell me anything and then Jonathan tells me he doesn’t hate me after all, he misses me and why isn’t anyone talking to me in sensible sentences anymore?”

Brandon sighed, but it was directed at himself. “I’m sorry Der, I wasn’t trying to keep anything from you, sweetheart. I just needed a few minutes to think. I overheard you and Jonathan in the kitchen…” He paused. “I didn’t want to make anything worse, by walking in.” He paused again. “Maybe…maybe you should stay here tonight?”

Der flung up his hands in a gesture of helpless frustration and in an uncharacteristic moment of pique, stalked out to the patio to be alone. No one, but no one, not even his sensible, solid Brandon was making any damn sense. He flung himself into a chair, pulled a beer out of the cooler, flicked the top off with a claw and sulked.

Brandon sighed again, but didn’t go after him. He was still sensible enough to know when a man needed some space.

“What did you do?”

Xavier looked at Jonathan with wide eyes and put an offended hand to his chest. “Me? What makes you think I did something?”

“You were talking to Brandon, now Der’s out on the patio pouting.”

“Jonathan, I swear, I didn’t start anything. I didn’t even give Brandon any advice. Didn’t have time to. If Der’s upset it’s not anything I did.”

“Right. Such an innocent. Even if you didn’t do it yourself, your fingers are so in it,” Jonathan said with a little snort. For a moment Jonathan debated going out after Der himself. Something about that didn’t seem like a good idea, though.

He glanced over at the sofa. Drew and Vincent were still wrapped in each others’ arms, sharing a moment of soft laughter. Oh, that did his heart good to see the two of them smiling. They needed their peace for a moment more, too.

Instead, he sauntered over to Brandon. “Hey.” He nodded towards the lanky figure sprawled in the patio chair. “Big guy all right?”

Brandon opened his mouth, seemed to switch whatever he’d been about to say, and said, “I don’t know.” He sagged a bit with worry. “He’s mad because nobody’s making sense to him today.”

“Oh. Crap.” Jonathan took a long drink of water. “Here I am trying to blame Xav and I’m probably the one who upset him, huh?”

Brandon cleared his throat. “Well, it’s probably not just one thing. I think he’s had a tough day.” He glanced out and watched Der studiously not looking inside. “I suggested he stay here tonight and he acted like I suggested he move out or something. I didn’t mean it as a bad thing.”

Jonathan gave him an odd, sideways look. So that was it. “OK, let’s see if I got what happened here. You have Der all to yourself for, what? Two nights? And then you hear me whining to him in the kitchen, right? So you get all confused and think you’re doing a good thing and he feels like you’re shoving him away when he needs you to unconfuse him. Sound about right?”

“No.” Brandon said, although it was obvious Jonathan hit it on the head. “Shouldn’t you go apologize to Xavier?” he suggested.

“Oh, hell, no. I’m sure he did something he needs to be blamed for today.” But Jonathan took the hint and moved off in that direction anyway.

Brandon stepped out onto the patio, snagged a bottle of beer from the cooler and sat down next to Der. “Hey there,” he said hesitantly. “I, uh, didn’t mean to chase you off, hon.”

Der waved a clawed hand in his general direction, his moment of anger quickly sinking into melancholy. “S’alright, hon. I know…what you were trying to do. I think. And I should be really happy today, shouldn’t I? It just feels like I’ve made a mess of everything right now. I can’t seem to piece things together. Maybe I’m just tired.”

“Luckily I know the perfect remedy for too much tension,” Brandon said with a far too serious expression, which he then ruined with a lecherous grin.

Der managed half a smile though he didn’t exactly rise to the bait. “You are, without a doubt, the best remedy for relieving all sorts of things. Stress. Tension. Headaches. Bouts of depression. But it doesn’t help me solve what I’m wrestling with right now.”

He took a pull from his beer, then stared down into it. “Bran? How do you feel about Jonathan?”

Brandon’s eyes lifted, sort of a casual glance around to make sure they weren’t being overheard. “He, um, reminds me of one of my ex’s,” he answered, perhaps a bit too honestly. “It’s the fussiness.” He cleared his throat. “I like Jonathan, though.” He paused. “It made me feel bad for him, that he misses you.”

A little chuckle rumbled in Der’s chest. “The fussiness…yes, well. It’s partly a front, when he doesn’t want to deal with something and it’s partly a way of keeping his world in order. It’s no secret; Jonathan was an addict before he met Vincent. Rushing down a long, dark hallway to horror and oblivion. Keeping things in order helps him…keep on track, if you like.”

He reached over for Brandon’s hand. “I don’t want him to miss me. And I don’t want you to feel bad. And I don’t want you to miss me. What I want…” What did he want? His problem had always been that he wanted everything. Which flavor? Yes. Red or blue? Both. “I’d like you to be comfortable with each other. Enough that one doesn’t feel like they have to leave the room for the other.”

Brandon blinked. “You think I’m… I’m not uncomfortable around him. Do I seem that way?” he asked, genuinely surprised. “Or, do you mean he’s not comfortable with me? That, I can see. I don’t know how to fix that, Der. I thought when they were staying with us that…that he’d get used to me, but it didn’t seem to happen.”

Actually Brandon got the impression that Jonathan had to suppress a flinch every time he talked to him. He had no idea why. He didn’t consider himself all that intimidating, and he’d gone out of his way to try and be casual and friendly with Jonathan.

“Ah. Now, as to that.” Der heaved a slow breath. “That has more to do with history than it does with you, love. You’re tall, dark and handsome, and, no, I’m not kissing up. You are. Broad-shouldered. Strong. Unfortunately, Jonathan suffered long-term abuse and finally a kidnapping and near deadly beating at the hands of someone who shares many of your physical features. Now, never mind that you don’t share any other damned thing with this bastard, Pretty Jon can’t help the twitch. It’s almost hardwired.”

Der’s fingers drummed restlessly on his bottle. “He doesn’t react that way around Vic. But he’s known Victor for years and through a lot of shit. I think it’s a matter of…familiarity. Of having other associations. And he really has always kept a polite distance with you. Maybe the three of us should have dinner later in the week. And we’ll see if we can’t make things better.”

“Sure, Der. Although, I don’t think there’s going to be a sudden change of heart on his part, you know? If you’re right, I think it might just take time. I meant what I said, though. If you want to stay, spend some time with them… I do understand.”

Of course, by ‘dinner’ Der was hoping there might be more than just going out to eat but he kept that to himself for the moment. “Not tonight, love.” He lifted Brandon’s hand to kiss his fingers. “They need their time tonight. Drew needs his rest and his Dom and his Jonathan and they don’t need any interference, even from me.”

Brandon saw the logic of that, and he couldn’t say he was unhappy about it at all.

“Hey, sweetie.” Jonathan slid onto the sofa on Drew’s other side and wrapped his arms around him gently. “What can I get for you?”

Drew leaned back into him and closed his eyes, resting his head on Jonathan’s shoulder. “I got everything I need.” Which was a corny as hell thing to say, but Drew didn’t care. It was true.

Jonathan drew in an uneven breath. It felt so damn good to hold the boy again. “You say the sweetest damn things,” he murmured and kissed the top of Drew’s ear. “But you have to be starving. You need to eat some real food.”

“Don’t move, J, you stay right where you are.” Cody appeared before them with a huge plate of carefully selected items, little sandwiches, cucumber and carrot slices, and the bacon wrapped scallops Drew liked. He set the plate on the coffee table in front of them. “Drew looks so comfy, so sit still for once in your life and enjoy the moment.”

“Thanks, Codes,” Jonathan said with a soft smile. Family, yes, it was nice to have family around at a time like this.

Drew ate, but more because it made Jonathan happy than because he had any real appetite. Although, it was certainly worlds better than hospital food. Filling his belly had an unwanted side effect. He was yawning by the time he finished. They had a house full of people who had come to see him, to wish him well, and he could hardly keep his eyes open.

Victor and Elric had their heads together across the room. Katya soon joined them in low, earnest conversation. Victor snagged Ethan as he wandered by, Elric beckoned Jerrett over and Der was flagged down as he came back inside. It all looked rather official and ominous, this heads-of-household conference.

Finally, Elric broke from the group and approached the sofa. He placed a hand over his heart and offered Vincent a little bow of courtesy. “Brüderlein, ve are honored thet you chose us to be here vith you on this joyful day. But ve are in agreement and vill not be persuaded othervise.” He waved towards the group of Doms, who formed a steadfast and unanimous wall. “Ve hef decided not to overstay our velcome so thet you may hef the rest of your evening in peace and privacy.”

“Oh, sir, you don’t have to,” Jonathan protested. “I mean, I could put Drew to bed and–”

“I don’t believe I invited debate,” Elric said with a chill smile. He looked over at the group. “Did I?”

They all shook their heads as one, far too stern and serious, the lot of them.

Vincent chuckled. “Very well then, we surrender to such a well-coordinated conspiracy. And we’ll have a proper party at some later date when everyone feels better rested.” He gathered his crutches and rose to make the rounds, to thank everyone for coming.

Drew was uncomfortably embarrassed that he’d lasted only an hour before looking like he might keel over, but way down he was relieved that this little gathering was being cut short. He was more exhausted than he’d thought he would be.

Everyone came to wish Drew well before they left with lots of hugs and kisses, even a quick peck from Jerrett, which raised a few eyebrows. Der and Brandon waited until last and Der came down on one knee by the sofa to gather Drew close.

“You’re home, safe and sound, sugar bear,” he said softly. “You feel a little better now?”

Drew had his arms wrapped around Der, his face nuzzled up to the crook of his neck. He breathed in his scent, warm skin and the leather smell of his jacket. “Yeah, I feel better.”

“Good.” Der pulled back to give him a soft kiss. “Me, too. You sleep tight, sugar bear. I’ll call you tomorrow.” He turned to kiss Vincent goodnight as well and then rose, swept Jonathan up in his arms and planted a ravenous kiss on his lips. “You hold onto that, pretty Jon. We’ll talk later.”

He put a stunned Jonathan down, took Brandon’s hand and left.

“Dammit, why does he have to be so weird sometimes?” Jonathan grumbled.

“Maybe he misses you.” Drew said, completely unaware of the irony of this statement. He yawned again. “I think I’m gonna go lay down.” He said, because it was really way to early to say he was ‘going to bed’. He kissed Jonathan and Vince and got up, heading for the bedroom.

“Would you mind terribly if I did as well, beloved?” Vincent asked as he watched Drew walk away.

“Go on, babes, you’re barely keeping your feet,” Jonathan said softly. “I’ll just put the food away and finish cleaning up in the morning.”

“Don’t be long.” A hint of a smile tugged at Vincent’s mouth and he followed Drew down the hall.

They hadn’t discussed it, but Drew instinctively headed for the master bedroom rather than his own. Vincent followed slowly, one crutch at a time, too tired to swing himself along as he normally would. “You don’t mind, my kestrel, if I lie down with you?”

Drew smiled as he pulled his clothes off and threw them in the hamper. “I was hoping you would, but it’s so early I didn’t want to ask.” He pulled back the covers and slid between the sheets.

“I’m afraid I’ve been spending almost as much time in bed as you have lately,” Vincent said as he eased down onto the mattress with a sigh. “Though it’s much better to have company.”

He toed off his slippers, glad he hadn’t bothered with socks, pulled his shirt off over his head without undoing the buttons and hoisted himself up on the bed to shimmy out of his jeans. He left the boxer briefs on, a wave of heated impatience taking hold of him. He simply had to have his skin against Drew’s without another moment’s delay.

Drew was only too happy to snuggle close. He was so tired of sleeping alone in an uncomfortable hospital bed. He tried to think of the last time he’d slept with Vince and couldn’t remember, he’d been so…weird before he’d finally freaked out and went into the hospital. The thought suddenly hit him that it had been quite a while since he’d had any sort of intimate contact.

He breathed Vince in, holding him close as his hand drifted over his skin. He had been so tired, he was still tired, but his body was responding to Vince’s warmth and closeness anyway.

Vincent’s throat tightened. He had been so afraid he would never have this again. The times when Drew’s eyes had radiated such unreasoning rage or looked at him with dread and panic had nearly made his heart shatter. He buried his face against Drew’s shoulder, his hand stealing up the back of his neck to stroke his scalp where just the slightest hint of fuzz had begun to grow.

He lifted his head, trying to control the hitch in his breath, and pressed his lips to Drew’s in a tender, searching kiss.

Drew returned the kiss with tender warmth, his lips moved softly over Vince’s, his graceful fingers stroking lightly along Vince’s chest. He thought he knew why Vince’s breath was catching in his throat, and he did not need to ask what was wrong. Instead he concentrated on making sure Vince knew he was here with him wholly and reconnecting with him after they’d been through so much. “I love you,” he whispered between slow kisses.

“Drew…my Drew…” Vincent murmured against his skin as he moved his kisses down his jaw. “I love you so.”

He turned to press them closer, chest to chest, thigh to thigh. His hands wandered down the contours of Drew’s back to cup his lovely butt, pulling him in tighter so their shafts rubbed together. The heat was only beginning to rise, a comfortable warmth, but Vincent knew it wouldn’t take long.

“Hey,” Jonathan’s voice came from the doorway. “Oh, so not fair starting without me.”

“We were just keeping the bed warm.” Drew said, placating. “Come join us,” he suggested, sliding his hand down Vince’s body to stroke the stiffening member rising under his touch.

The way Vincent moaned in response almost made Jonathan faint as the blood all did a sprint from his head. His hands shook as he tore off his clothes, which he draped over the chair but didn’t bother to fold for once. His stomach trembled with need and desire too long denied as he slipped in under the sheets behind Drew.

“So hot,” he whispered against Drew’s shoulders as he licked and kissed. Straight from the hospital, Drew didn’t quite smell like Drew yet but he didn’t care. He rubbed against Drew’s ass, Vincent’s hand finding his cock in the bargain. “Oh…god…missed you so much…”

Drew groaned and pressed back into Jonathan. “I missed you, too,” he whispered heatedly. The slow and tender warmth he and Vince had been building suddenly seemed as if they’d just been waiting for the third in their triad to set the spark to such carefully laid and ready tinder. Drew bent his head to lick and suck at Vince’s nipple, his fingers curling around his erection and stroking more firmly.

Vincent’s hips rocked in time with the strokes. “Drew…oh…” he gasped out.

“Tsk.” Jonathan reached over and stilled Drew’s fingers. “Getting Vince all out of breath. You know he hasn’t been well.”

He rolled Drew onto his back and pulled him down until his head was almost level with Vincent’s crotch.

“Beloved, what are you thinking of?” Vincent asked with a chuckle.

Jonathan leaned over Drew to give him a scorching kiss. “I want to please you both at once. I’ll do all the work. You two can lie back and relax. Please?”

“All right, since you’ve asked so politely,” Vincent said as he rolled to his back.

“Oh, good.” Jonathan began by running his hands over both bodies laid out before him, kissing and licking here and there. He spread Drew’s thighs and dove between to lick at his balls while he reached in the nightstand drawer for the lube.

Drew shivered under Jonathan’s caresses and spread his legs farther in invitation. “God, I want you…” Drew said in a needy murmur. His hand moved to his own cock for a few sensual strokes, both because it felt good, and because he knew Jonathan liked the view.

“Mmm,” Jonathan purred, his eyes, full of heat and tender mischief, traveling up to meet Drew’s. He licked along Drew’s fingers while his own lube coated finger teased at Drew’s back door.

Vincent shoved pillows behind his head, content to watch, knowing he wouldn’t be forgotten.

Drew hissed a little breath and a heated moan escaped him as Jonathan slid his fingers into his tight passage. Oh yes, it had been awhile. Jonathan’s two fingers were squeezed tightly and Drew thought he was going to melt with the pleasure of it. His head turned and he nuzzled at Vince’s hip, despite Jonathan wanting him to just lie back and relax. He was so stimulated he had to do something.

Though he wanted desperately to rush forward, Jonathan took his time. Drew was so tight and tense with need, it took a little coaxing before he relaxed properly and opened enough to take another finger. He reached up and stroked his forefinger up and down Vincent’s shaft in the meantime, just to keep him warmed up.

When he felt Drew was ready, he exchanged fingers for the head of his aching erection. “Christ, sweetheart…so tight…” he panted out as Drew’s puckered entrance practically pulled him in. He had to stay still and concentrate on breathing for a moment so he wouldn’t go over too soon.

Drew bent his knees up farther with a needy little whimper and Jonathan sank farther in. Now he was in position where he could complete the circuit. With his cock buried deep inside Drew’s tight heat, he leaned over and swallowed Vincent’s waiting erection down to the root.

“Jonathan…oh, so good…” Drew murmured as he kissed and licked the side of his throat. His fingers found Jonathan’s nipples to pinch and tease while he eased in and out of him. He nipped his skin and sucked the spot into his hot mouth.

Vincent’s fingers sank into Jonathan’s curls, urging his head up and down. Jonathan’s cheeks hollowed as he increased the suction and Vincent didn’t care how long he held out. It simply felt too damn good. He guided Jonathan’s still-lubed fingers down between his own cheeks and cried out when he was breached, molten pleasure surging through him.

“Beloved…faster…harder…gods, you’re so wonderful,” Vincent got out on heavy gasps.

Naturally Jonathan obliged, keeping the same rhythm for both of them, hips, mouth, fingers, all dancing to the same heavy, thumping beat.

Drew eagerly stroked his achingly hard cock as Jonathan bucked hard between his thighs. The muscles of his abdomen tightened down as the pressure built. He panted, hips rocking in time with Jonathan until he couldn’t take any more. “Ohhh…I’m gonna come!” He got out in a desperate rush. “Gonna…uhhhh Jonathan…yesss…” His tight little hole clamped and spasmed around Jonathan, and he moaned with pleasure.

Jonathan groaned hard around Vincent and drove his fingers in a little harder. Vincent cried out and gripped his head so tight, he couldn’t move. The little, gasping cries came closer and closer together and Jonathan had his second reward when Vincent came hard, hot seed spilling across his tongue.

The taste, the sounds, the hard squeeze of Drew’s orgasm clamping around him and the hard hold Vincent had on him flung him up and over, a tsunami-crash of a climax roaring through him. His hips bucked and jerked through the first spasms and then he lay still, moaning around Vincent’s cock while he rode the last spasms deep inside Drew.

Drew lay unmoving as Jonathan’s weight settled on him. For a moment he wasn’t sure if he was going to stay conscious. There was a fine tremor in his muscles that was partly from the pleasure of release and partly sheer exhaustion. He couldn’t have moved if his life depended on it. He felt Jonathan’s soft lips press to his. He couldn’t open his eyes, but he did respond, his lips caressing back and tasting Vince’s flavor on Jonathan’s mouth.

The tremors telegraphed to Jonathan and he eased back carefully. “Poor sweetheart,” he murmured and settled at Drew’s side so they could hold him between them. He snagged the blankets from the foot of the bed and covered them all for good measure, afraid Drew would get chilled.

Vincent snuggled close and settled Drew’s head on his shoulder, a weight he had missed more than he could have imagined.

Drew fell asleep almost immediately, feeling safe and secure for the first time in weeks.

“Welcome home, my love,” Vincent whispered and kissed the top of his shaved head. “Welcome home.”

Chapter 282 – Never Alone (3)

Two hours later Dr. Lassiter came into the waiting room, clipboard in hand. She was not smiling, but her expression was triumphant nonetheless. “We’ve got something, Vincent. The first MRI didn’t show it, but there is an arachnoidal cyst presenting on the left middle cranial fossa.” She took a breath. “This is good news, it’s a very real possibility that this is the cause of all of Drew’s symptoms, and it’s operable.” She held up the clipboard. “If I can have your autograph, I have a neurosurgeon waiting.”

Vincent reached out with trembling hands and signed as if his own life depended on it. He managed to hand the board back before he buried his face in his hands. “Thank the gods…oh, please, please, let this be it,” he whispered as tears stung the backs of his eyes.

“You may want to go home,” Dr. Lassiter suggested. “It’s going to be a few hours.”

“No. No, I won’t leave him.” Vincent shook his head as he fumbled in his pocket. All this time he had managed without an attack and now his chest began to tighten.

Alone again, he sank back into brooding, wanting to reach for hope, no longer certain he could find it. People came and went. No one spoke to him. He might have been a marble statue or perhaps he had achieved invisibility.

The chairs creaked as a large body settled beside him. “Hello, there.”

Vincent’s head snapped around at the deep voice. “Victor?”

“Well, yes. I had a rather unhappy call from Jonathan who said you were down here by yourself and had forbidden him to come,” Vic said, his forehead creased with worry.

“He hasn’t been well. I didn’t want to upset him more.”

“In that you’ve failed, my friend. He’s upset and demonstrating true drama queen anxiety.” Vic took him by the arm. “You really should give him more credit, though. He’ll have his moments but he has deeper reserves of strength than most of us can imagine.”

Vincent nodded and turned to lean his head on Vic’s shoulder. “Soon. I’ll call him down here soon. Thank you for coming.”

“You’ve always been there for me. Of course I came.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes until two more familiar figures rounded the corner.

“Hey, bud, how’re you holding up?” Dave settled on Vincent’s other side, Sebastian next to him. “Der said you sounded really strange when he talked to you. Big guy’s worried sick, so I said we’d come down and check things out.”

“I’m…all right. They’ve taken Drew to surgery to remove a cyst pressing on his brain. They think it’s the cause.”

“That’s good, right?” Sebastian spoke up. “I mean, they can cure him and shit now.”

“One hopes,” Vincent murmured.

Dave handed him a pack of crackers. “Knew you wouldn’t be eating. Gotta keep your strength up, yeah?”

“Thank you, David. That’s very thoughtful.” Vincent opened the package and even managed to choke down a few bites to please him.

On the heels of their arrival, another small group wheeled around the corner. The Prince, flanked by Orion and Keit, swept in, every head turning as he passed. He’d pulled out all the stops, dressed in eighteenth century finery with a ruffled white shirt, tight velvet trousers of midnight blue, a gentleman’s coat in the French style and his best black riding boots. Only Elric could pull off such outlandish outfits in public and escape appearing ridiculous.

“So.” He settled across from Vincent, left ankle propped on his right knee. “I hef hed two unheppy calls today, brüderlein, from Jonathan and Derelict. They seemed to think you vere no longer reasonable.” He tented his fingers, red eyes watching Vincent closely. “You seem reasonable to me but I must take you to tesk.”

“Why would that be?” Vincent asked softly, not certain he wanted the answer.

“You still seem to think you must face every terrible turn in life alone. Responsibility is vone thing, my dear, trying to shoulder the troubles of the entire vorld alone is medness.” Long white fingers waved at Vincent’s companions. “Though I see others of your friends hef already reached the same conclusion.”

Vincent nodded, unable to speak for a few breaths. “They will shave his head. All of his beautiful hair…”

“It vill grow beck,” Elric said with a snort. “And they save his life. I believe thet is more than compensation for a few veeks lost vanity.”


Drew opened his eyes slowly, blinking as the world came into focus. His throat hurt. Nothing else hurt yet as far as he could tell. There was an oxygen tube up his nose, various other wires and tubing running out from under the blanket covering him, a steady soft beeping came from one of the monitors beside the bed.

He swallowed and winced. His throat really hurt, and he wanted something to drink desperately. He tried to lift his arm and found he was restrained. If he’d had the strength he would have snorted. He could hardly move. Honestly, what did they think he might do? His head rolled to the side and there was Vince. Drew smiled. “Hi,” he whispered in a cracked voice he barely recognized.

“Hello, love.” Vincent unfastened the nearer wrist despite what he had promised so he could press Drew’s fingers to his lips. “Do you see me now? Only me?”

“Who else?” Drew said and licked his dry lips. “You took it off.” He indicated the restraint. “Aren’t you going to get in trouble?”

“I don’t think so, not now,” Vincent said with as much of a smile as he could muster. “My darling kestrel, you had a terrible episode. You thought I was someone else. They took you back to the MRI and found a cyst, a large, fluid-filled sac, pressing against your brain. You have been in surgery, love. They removed it.”

“Oh.” Drew blinked again, still in a groggy post-anesthesia fog. “In my brain?” It took a moment or two but the magnitude began to sink in. “Th-they… operated on my brain?” He took his hand from Vince’s and reached up, feeling carefully, and found his head wrapped in gauze. He didn’t have the energy or lucidity yet to panic, but he was a little worried. No, a lot worried. No one wanted to hear about some doctor having to mess around in his brain.

“So… so, they figured out what was wrong? They fixed it?” he asked, still processing. “A cyst? Does that mean… like, cancer or something?”

Vincent took a tighter grip on his hand. “Not in your brain, love, perched on top of it. They went in with tiny surgical tools and removed it. Some cysts are cancerous. This one was not. But it was causing you considerable discomfort. I wish you had told me about the constant headaches earlier.”

He laid his head next to Drew’s shoulder, still not entirely convinced he should be relieved, too exhausted to think things all the way through. “You must lie still, love, and lie flat. Things need to restabilize. If you sit up too fast or too soon, you will have a terrible, blinding headache. But the disturbances should be at an end. You should get well now.”

Drew brought his arm down behind Vince, his elbow still bent so his hand rested on Vince’s hair. He looked so drawn and gray; he probably hadn’t slept or eaten much. “I’m sorry I worried you, Vince,” he said softly. “You should get some sleep…how is Jonathan? And Der?”

“Worried,” Vincent said on a strangled chuckle. “They were in to see you but you are only allowed one visitor at a time.” So typical of Drew, to be concerned about his loves when he’d just come off the operating table.

Vincent lifted his head and waved a hand around the room. “I think everyone you know has been here to see you. I asked them not to bring flowers since the scent might make you nauseous.”

Around the edges of the room, along every inch of wall, floated mylar balloons in various shapes and hues.

“That beautiful black and silver group.” Vincent pointed to the one in the near corner. “Is from the Prince. The rather exuberant bunch of butterflies.” He indicated the neon-bright ones farther on. “Is from Anthony. The bear-shaped one, of course, is from Derelict. The more tasteful group in shades of blue and green to match your eyes are the ones Jonathan brought. The musical notes are from Victor and Cody. The cheerful little ‘get well’ balloons are from David and Xavier. Ethan and Quinn brought you a little stuffed dog to watch over you.”

He nodded to the nightstand. “Even Orion wanted to leave something for you.” Perched on the nightstand were three more stuffed animals, a gray coyote, a black wolf pup and a shimmering white dragon.

Drew tried to reach for them, remembered his other wrist was still restrained, and undid the cuff. He lifted the coyote. “This is for Jonathan, of course.” He picked up the wolf pup. “And this is Der.” He traced his fingers along the spinal ridge of the dragon. “This must be you. He’s never said before what he thought you were. He’s always just called you my velvet prince. He must have figured out what you were finally,” Drew said with a little smile.

“Yes.” Vincent took a slow breath. It was so good to see that smile. Drew’s normal, everyday smile. “He says I am the child of wind and stars. So one must assume his view of dragons does not include the mindless, virgin devouring sort.”

He leaned in to give Drew a soft kiss. “Would you like me to send Jonathan in now? He’s promised to be calm.”

Drew brightened. “Yes. I want him to see I’m OK. He’s probably been driving everyone nuts.”

“Off and on, yes,” Vincent admitted in a dry voice as he rose. “Though Der and Brandon’s apartment has probably never been cleaner. And he has made them some elaborate dinners. I‘ll be back soon, my love. They have said I‘m to go to bed now, though, whether I‘m willing or not.”

Within seconds of Vincent’s departure, Jonathan arrived. He hesitated at the door, took a step in, and then hurried to the bed. “Hey, sweetie. Christ…oh, it’s good to see you.” He reached out as if he would take Drew in his arms, then recalled instructions and took his hand instead.

Bottom lip caught between his teeth, he met Drew’s gaze. Those big, hazel eyes seemed to take up his whole face since he’d dropped weight and all his hair was gone. He looked like some lost elfin child, out of place in the sterile hospital bed. “How do you…how do you feel?”

Drew smiled for him, truly glad to see his unlikely paladin. “I’m good.” He brought Jonathan’s hand up to his lips to kiss his fingertips. “Vince said I’m not supposed to sit up yet. I’ve missed you, so much.”

“I’ve missed you, too.” Jonathan hitched a breath and shook his head. “You just don’t know.” He slid the rail down so he could lean on the bed with his arm across Drew. “I told them and told them you weren’t crazy. Nobody ever listens to me.”

His fingers traced over Drew’s cheek. “Do you remember all that stuff? The visions? Or is it all gone now?”

“I remember…some.” Drew hedged. He didn’t know if he remembered everything, but he remembered a lot of things in vivid detail. Jonathan didn’t need to know that. His pretty hazel eyes grew serious. “I remember I said some…not good things to you. I’m sorry, Jonathan,” he breathed, his fingers tightening around Jonathan’s.

“You said some pretty awful things, sweetie,” Jonathan murmured. “But I know it wasn’t me you saw sometimes and sometimes it was but you were seeing…different. It’s not your fault.” He kissed Drew’s cheek and gave him a wink. “And, you know, I won’t mind too much if you want to make it up to me when you feel better.”

Drew smiled at him. “I feel good now…and I’m not supposed to get up anyway. You could get naked and slide in next to me.” He picked up the edge of the blanket and made a show of moving some of the wires and crap out of the way. “Plenty of room, I won’t tell if you don’t.” He grinned cheekily.

Of course, the sight of all the tubes and wires bled the mischief from Jonathan’s eyes. “Stop that,” he snapped and tucked Drew back under his blankets. “You need to behave yourself until you’re well again. And don’t you let Schiller talk you into anything either.”

He was trying much too hard for irritated but the way his black lashes stuck together as he blinked gave him away. “Just…please don’t do anything like that to me again. I was so sure we were losing you. Sure that horrible girl was trying to kill you or something. I was so…scared…”

Drew’s knuckles pressed to his forehead, he fought to keep his promise. He had told Vincent he wasn’t going to cry.

“I love you, Jonathan. It’s OK,” Drew whispered, his fingers caressing where they touched Jonathan’s skin. “You can cry, I won’t tell.”

Jonathan didn’t burst into tears but he let them go, put his head on Drew’s shoulder and sobbed quietly. All the terrible days and nights of fear and uncertainty, then all the worse ones of waiting and being told he couldn’t see his Drew, all this had been hard. To have Vincent sick and lost on top of it all had been unbearable.

“I love you, too,” he managed in hiccoughing breaths. “I’m so glad…hell, I’m delirious to have you back.”

Drew stroked Jonathan’s hair and soothed him. “It’s ok, Jon…I’m ok.” He lifted his other shoulder as if he would sit up to wrap his arms around him and Jonathan immediately pressed his shoulders back down.

“Don’t you dare,” he warned.

Drew took a breath and relaxed back on the bed. “OK.” He stroked his long graceful fingers over Jonathan’s cheeks and brushed the tears away.

“Seriously, hon. Twenty-four hours you gotta stay flat for all that cerebrummy-spinally stuff to come up to pressure again.” Jonathan smiled when he got a little chuckle. He kissed Drew’s fingers, the inside of his wrist, the bend of his elbow and finally his lips. “I guess I better send the big goofball in, huh? He’s pouting ‘cause we left him till last.”

“Der’s still here?” Drew said with a little smile.

Jonathan snorted. “Yes, he’s still here. You think he’d take someone else’s word that you’re OK?” He stroked a finger down Drew’s nose. “I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetie. It’s getting late, I need to get Vince home and you need some real, non-drugged-up sleep.”

He smiled and waved in the doorway and then stalked down the hall to the waiting room. “’Is Der still here?’ he asks,” he fumed at the man in question. “Like you haven’t been prowling around this hospital for days while some of us weren’t even allowed to talk about coming down here!”

“Um…well. I’ll take that as permission to go see him, then?” Der edged around Jonathan, out of range of those swift, little fists.

Jonathan glowered at Vincent when Der had left. “What? What’s that look for?”

“I’m sorry, beloved. I know it was hard–”

“No, you don’t! You’ve got no clue or you would’ve let me come see Drew before now!”

Vincent’s gaze was far from cold as he met Jonathan’s. “But I couldn’t come for days, either. And I needed you.”

“Oh.” Jonathan huffed a breath and held out his hands to help Vincent up. “Well, why didn’t you say so?”

“I didn’t think I needed to.”

Der didn’t run to Drew’s room but with his long stride, he got there faster than some could have sprinted. “Hey, sugar bear!” He flung himself into the chair next to Drew’s bed. “You ready to go dancing?”

“Sure.” Drew smiled and reached for Der’s hand, though he didn’t try to sit up. He was sure Der had his orders, too. “How do you like the new look? I’m thinking I should get flames or lightning tattooed on the sides of my head.”

Der nodded. “It’s very streamlined. Very space age. But I think the glare from the lights will blind people when you’re onstage. Maybe you better work on growing the hair back.” He nuzzled at Drew’s fingers when he got a little laugh. “Oh, it was a joke. See, I forgot that you knew how to make jokes. It’s been awhile.”


He sat back so he could look at Drew. “It’s so good to have you back, sugar bear. When you get out of here, we have to have a few champagne toasts. To your recovery. To the fact that the condo does not house ghosts. And to pretty Jon not killing me before I got to see you again.”

“That sounds good, Der.” Drew squeezed his fingers. “How’s Brandon? Vince said him and Jon had been staying at your place for a little while.” Which was Drew’s very PC way of asking if Brandon was getting tired of guests and drama and Der spending so much time worrying over his other lovers.

Der chuckled. “Brandon is…a very patient man. But tonight we have our place to ourselves and I think he’s pleased to have our space back.”

Drew grinned. “Code for ‘I’ll be wearing leather and swinging from the chandeliers in a few hours’.”

“Leather, yes.” Der tried to look serious. “Though I’m not sure if I’ll need the knee pads or the riding crop yet…”

“Now you’re just trying to tempt me to go home with you,” Drew teased. Although, at this point he honestly didn’t think he could get up if he wanted to. He felt like sandbags were tied to his eyelids and he yawned.

Der leaned in and kissed his forehead. “You know I’d like nothing better. But you need your beauty sleep. You’ve had a busy day.” Der moved lower to kiss the bridge of his nose and his lips, gently since they were so dry. “It’s so good to talk to you again and not get my head snapped off.”

He rested his cheek against Drew’s for a moment. “I love you, sugar bear. Did you want me to sing you to sleep?”

Drew’s eyes were already closed but he nodded. “That would be so nice,” he said softly. “Der, I love you, too…make sure Vince and Jon are ok.”

“I will, hon. I’ll call to make sure they got home but I think they need their alone time tonight, too.” He held Drew’s hand, his bass rumbling softly as he began to sing, “Motherland, cradle me, Close my eyes, Lullaby me to sleep, Keep me safe, Lie with me, Stay beside me, Don’t go...”

He sang on until Drew’s breathing evened out and deepened. With a smile, he put Drew’s hand under the blankets, put the rail back up without a sound and managed to walk out without a single metallic jingle. He had to stop in the hall to wipe his eyes. Hospital disinfectants made his eyes water, yes, that was it.

He drove home whistling, feeling lighter than he had in weeks, and called Vincent as he pulled the hearse into the apartment garage. It sounded like Jonathan was making up for lost time, so he said goodnight and left them in peace.

The stairs only took a few bounds, the door already stood open a crack in anticipation of his return. He swept in and hollered, “Lucy! I’m hooo-oome!”

Smoke came tearing down the hallway, ears pinned back flat, back bristled. He hopped twice, flipped around on his back while ferociously attacking a piece of carpet fuzz, then streaked back off in the direction he’d come. Life was never dull with a kitten in the house.

“Hey Ricky.” Bran said as he nearly tripped on Smoke. He shook his head and kissed Der hello. “That cat is a menace. He pounced on Elektra’s tail earlier and I thought she was going to eat his liver. How’s Drew?”

Der pulled him close for the solid feel of that hard-packed body in his arms. “I will try not to remind you that you were the one who wanted to keep the menace.” He nuzzled at Brandon’s neck. “Drew’s very tired. Poor thing could barely keep his eyes open. But he was Drew again, entirely, wholly, without any additives, thank the gods.”

He pushed back so he could see Brandon’s face. “And how are you, love?”

Brandon gave him a smile, slid his hand around the back of his neck and pulled him in for a warm kiss before answering. “I’m good, and I’m glad Drew is doing better. As much as I felt bad for him, it was tearing me up to watch you suffering.”

Der opened his mouth to answer and snapped it shut, then shook his head on a little laugh. “Now, see, here I am worried you’d be ticked at me for neglecting you. I should know better. Good gods, you are the most wonderful, selfless person I have ever met.”

He took Brandon’s hands and sank to one knee. “But I’m still hoping you’ll let me make it up to you.”

Brandon smoothed his fingers along Der’s cheek and let his fingers slide into his hair in a gentle caress. “Oh, I think that sounds like a perfect idea.”

A little shiver of delight skittered down Der’s back. “Mmm, and what flavor would you like?” He kissed along the inside of Brandon’s wrist. “And would you prefer being the spoon or the ice cream?”

Brandon chuckled. “Have I told you I love your euphemisms? Although, ice cream is way too cold for what I’m feeling right now,” he said, his tone dropping to a husky murmur. He leaned down to kiss Der’s lips, drawing it out with sensual heat. “Why don’t you take top tonight?”

Grinning, Der leaped to his feet, hand over his heart. “I live to fulfill your every desire.”

He shed his coat and hung it on its hook by the door, then took Brandon by the hand and led him to the bedroom. He gestured for Brandon to stay where he was, disappeared into the closet, and emerged wearing nothing but black leather pants that looked like he needed a shoehorn to get on, the waist riding so low most of his black jewel line was visible.

He walked back towards Brandon slowly, one foot crossing over the other with each step, his gaze smoldering with the banked passion of many nights’ abstinence. For once he didn’t want anything too elaborate. He just wanted Brandon, Brandon, the name thudding in time to his heartbeat.

His hands slid under the hem of Brandon’s t-shirt and slid it off over his head. He closed in for a soft kiss but pulled back before it could gain heat, his fingers busy with Brandon’s fly. The jeans fell to the floor under the weight of change and keys in the pockets and the boxers followed.

Der turned them and put a hand flat on Brandon’s chest, pushing gently until he sat down on the bed. In four swift tugs he removed everything the rest of the way, Bran’s beautiful, sculpted body completely exposed, his erection already standing ramrod straight.

He waited while Brandon scooted up on the bed a little, then with a soft growl he crawled up from the foot of the bed, parting Brandon’s thighs so he could crawl between them. He stretched out atop him, devouring his lips with a searing kiss, grinding his leather-clad lower half against Brandon’s skin.

Brandon lifted his hips, rubbing his erection against the soft leather of Der’s pants. His fingers sank into his hair as he kissed him back hot and hard for several long, tongue tangling minutes. “God, I want you…” he whispered heatedly between kisses. “So damn much…”

“I’ve missed this,” Der whispered as he kissed along his jaw. “Missed your hands all over me…missed your gorgeous body…” He moaned as Brandon’s hands slid down his back to cup his butt. Oh, hells gates, yes, he’d missed those hands.

He planted a searing line of kisses down Brandon’s throat, unable to get enough of the taste of his skin. And, oh, such joy, when he took Brandon’s nipple in his mouth for a hard suck and got a hiss and an arching of that incredible body.

“Der…” Brandon whispered his name like a caress. He was so damn ready for this he was dizzy with lust, his body aching for his lover. “You are so damn sexy.”

The only answer he got was a soft growl. Der moved Brandon’s hands to the laces at the back of his leathers. Barely legal, these were his favorite clubbing pants, guaranteed to make heads turn, especially when he wore little in the way of a shirt. Brandon’s clever fingers undid the knot and parted the laces while Der reached over to the nightstand drawer for the lube and his claw sheaths.

He rolled his hips on a needy moan as Brandon’s hands slipped inside to stroke his skin. He nuzzled at Brandon’s throat and wriggled to help peel the leather down. When his erection leaped free, he moved down, kissing and nipping along the way over ribs and hard-packed abs. His hands parted Brandon’s legs further and bent his knees up while he licked along the insides of his thighs.

His breath caressed over Brandon’s rigid cock while he squeezed out a good dollop of lube on his fingers. His eyes lifted to Brandon’s face to watch as his lips closed over the head of his erection and his sheathed forefinger slid inside at the same moment.

“Ohhh…yesss.” Brandon’s neck arched, his head pressing back into the pillows. “Oh, baby, that feels so good.”

“Mmm,” Der hummed in agreement as he savored the taste of Brandon’s excitement. He sucked gently, taking more and more of Brandon’s thick erection in his mouth with each dip of his head while a second finger joined the first inside.

He waited until Brandon was squirming and then lifted his head to shift back up. Soft kisses rained along Brandon’s scarred side while Der withdrew his fingers and replaced them with his aching cock. He sank in by slow degrees, in little thrusts and forays, until he was almost swallowed to the balls.

He took Brandon’s face between his hands and went completely still, gazing down into his eyes. “I love you so.”

“I love you, too.” Brandon breathed across his lips. He wrapped his arms tight around Der and pulled him close for a kiss that was both sweetly tender and full of heat and longing.

Der’s long arms slid under Brandon to hold him tight as well, his body moving in slow rolls and undulations, his lips and tongue never ceasing their renewed exploration. He had always loved women as well as men and always would but there was something about having a hard set of muscles beneath him, a strong pair of arms around him, that took his breath away.

Brandon let himself sink wholly into the moment, the rest of the world fading completely as he lost himself in Der. Brandon had been in love a time or two, but he’d always secretly snickered at the idea of ‘making love’. Hot steamy sex, playful sex, wild sex, he’d had all those things before but only with Der could it be hot and wild and tender and sweet all at the same time.

Their bodies moved together, slow and sensual, for a long time. They got hot and heavy, and then slowed again until one or the other started edging their way back up. Finally Brandon could not resist the pull and went one step beyond the point where he could hold back and cool down again. The orgasm welled up uncontrollably and shook him to the core. His head arched back as he cried out with the sheer pleasure of his release.

The sunburst beauty of Brandon’s climax rushed up through Der’s body. He held out for two precious seconds of tortured delight so he could watch his lover’s face in the throes of ecstasy.

“Brandon, gods, Brandon,” he whispered as his hips sped in quick, hard thrusts. “So perfect…so…oh…” He followed Brandon over with a hard groan, his head cradled on Brandon’s broad shoulder.

Brandon lay, boneless and sated with his arms wrapped lightly around Der and just drifted. This was bliss, and if they could only stay like this forever things would be perfect. He had no desire to move, and Der’s weight was satisfying, not heavy.

The same not-moving thought had occurred to Der. Wrapped up in Brandon, the little silver balls on his shaft causing tiny aftershocks as his erection moved as it softened, he regretted the moment had to end at some point.

When Brandon heaved a soft contented sigh, Der lifted his head. “You know, maybe we should have abstinence weeks more often. That was Vesuvius hot.”

Brandon murmured a halfhearted little chuckle. “You want me to get a little cage for you like Vince has for Drew?” He knew about this particular little device when Der explained how Vince had punished Drew after they had been together without his permission. Brandon had been uneasy and worried about what had been done to him until Der told him.

“Now hold on, there.” Der tried for a wounded expression. “Are you saying I don’t have enough self control to last without one?” He grinned when he got another little laugh. “Actually, no, I don’t think I could wear one long term. Vince put the thing on me once to try it out and I thought I’d pass out. Come to think of it, I think I did. Way, way too much stimulation for an excitable boy like me.”

“Hmm… maybe you’re right.” Brandon agreed. “Shall we set a date then? Or just see who breaks first?” he asked, only half teasing. The idea of denying themselves for a time to build up the sexual tension was kind of hot.

“Hmm, lemme think about it,” Der lowered his head to nuzzle Brandon’s throat. “Right now I need a few good nights of this first before we start talking about who has more will power.”

“Oh, that definitely sounds like a better plan,” Brandon murmured and kissed the top of Der’s head. A few seconds went by and Brandon asked, “Maybe we should get started on this new plan right now?” He caressed Der’s back all the way down to the base of his spine.

He got a murmur and a little chuckle from Der, which he took as agreement. Their second inning was every bit as sensual and hot as the first. Making up for lost time was a wonderful thing.

Chapter 281 – Never Alone (2)

By the time they reached the hospital Drew was once again relatively clear headed, though there was nothing he could do as he was still strapped down when they wheeled him into the ER. He wheezed and rattled now with every breath. A vessel had burst somewhere and was filling one of his lungs with blood. They were going to have to take him into surgery.

“I’ll be with you the whole time,” Suzy said brightly from the end of the gurney. “Even in your dreams.”

Drew screamed and thrashed so violently they needed to sedate him to get the IV in. When they came in with needle and syringe he flipped out even more. Vincent arrived in the ER waiting room to the sound of Drew screaming at the top of his lungs down the hall. It did not last long though, as two nurses pinned him down and he was shot up with a healthy dose of thorazine. That took the wind out of his sails quickly. He was then prepped and taken into emergency surgery to find and stop the bleeding before he bled out or drowned in his own blood.

Hours later he was in recovery, the surgeon told Vince they had found the burst blood vessel and repaired it, though this did not explain his psychotic episode or the seizures. When he was fully awake he would be transferred to the psych ward and evaluated by a psychiatrist.

“He has been experiencing sensory disturbances,” Vincent told the doctor softly. “Not only visual but tactile and olfactory. I would assume a neurologist would be called in as well.”

“Yes. An MRI has been ordered and the neurologist will see him,” the doctor told him, not without considerable sympathy. “It’s a matter of finding the correct diagnosis now. We can’t yet rule out schizophrenia, or some other disorder. The tox screen will also show any drug or environmental substances that might have caused this.”

Vincent nodded and leaned back in the waiting room chair. Counterproductive to point out that Drew was clean, they would run the tests despite any protests, and perhaps there was something, a cleaning product or other household chemical, to which Drew had some bizarre and severe allergy.

If only tests didn’t always take so long. Tech hadn’t yet caught up to science fiction in that regard, a handheld scanner or beam of light which would render an instant diagnosis. Vincent pulled his coat closer around himself, shivering. Why did hospitals always have to be so damn cold?


“Der? Please wake up.” Jonathan’s voice had deteriorated from mild sarcasm to desperate pleading. There were freaking ghosts in the house, for Christ’s sake, he didn’t care what Chrys said, and Der decided to take a nap. Drew wasn’t crazy. He wasn’t. It was ghosts.

He gathered Der in his arms and put his back to the wall. At least the big dork was warm and solid. But he couldn’t just sit here. There was so much that needed to be done. Lots of things. Yes. He needed to–

He shrieked at the noise from Der’s pocket. Notes. From…oh, cell phone. The jeans were a snug fit, it was a struggle, but he dragged the cell out and stared at the number. Der’s number. “Schiller’s phone,” he answered in as quiet a voice as he could muster.

“Who’s this?” the pleasant voice on the other end asked.

“Brandon? It’s Jonathan. He’s here…he’s just…there’s blood everywhere and you know how he is about blood and, OK, wasn’t quite a header into the carpet and Drew’s gone in the ambulance and Vince went after him and left me here…” Jonathan’s voice rose to a shriek. “And there’s ghosts, Bran, and I can’t do this!”

“Whoa, whoa…slow down.” Brandon said, trying for calm but there was a slight edge to his voice anyway. “Is Der hurt?” He had to ask, Jonathan said something about blood everywhere and he wasn’t very coherent.

“No, it’s Drew’s blood and…”

“…and he passed out.” Brandon finished for him. “I’m on my way over Jon, just hang in there. Tell me what happened, slowly. From the beginning.” He really didn’t need the information, but he wanted to keep Jonathan on the phone and talking because he sounded so close to breaking down.

He managed to keep him on the phone and get a more coherent and detailed explanation while he drove, like a mad man, through the city streets. He could have used the bubble, but if the chief found out he’d have his ass, possibly even his job, so he behaved and just broke a half dozen traffic laws. He made it in record time and hung up only as he was coming in the door.

“God…” Brandon breathed as he walked in the door. It looked like a small animal or three had been slaughtered in there. “Ok…” He took a deep breath. “Stay there for a minute.” He said to Jonathan and went into the kitchen where he got a dish towel wet and came back out. He did his best to get Der cleaned up while he patted his cheeks and shook him. Eventually Der started mumbling and his eyes fluttered open.

“Hey sweetness.” Brandon smiled at him softly. “Don’t get up, OK? Just lay there for a few minutes.” Bran looked around the room and blew out a breath. “Alright, I’d take you to the hospital myself, but I don’t want to leave Der here, and I’m not gonna put him in the truck yet.”

“Jesus, what the hell happened?” Xavier was suddenly standing in the open doorway as if summoned, although he looked about as shocked as could be. He’d dropped in to see if Jonathan wanted to go shopping because Cody had a cold and was in bed.

“There’s ghosts,” Jonathan whispered as he pulled his knees up under his chin. “There’s ghosts and they put Drew in the hospital.”

Xavier arched a brow. “There’s no such thing as ghosts, Kemp. What the hell happened?” He asked again as he came farther into the room.

Brandon opened his mouth to answer but Jonathan shot to his feet and pointed stiff armed at Xavier. “There is a ghost! Drew is not fucking crazy! You take that back!”

“Well I don’t know about Drew but you sure are nutty…”

Xavier cut off as Jonathan lunged at him, but Xav caught his arms before he actually swung. “Hey! Easy… I didn’t meant it, ok?” he said in a much softer tone. “What’s going on here, huh?” he asked, again, this time with some of the shock worn off the concern in his voice came through.

“Drew had a seizure, he was coughing up blood. He’s been seeing visions… they took him to the hospital,” Brandon answered quickly.

“Oh, man…” Xavier breathed, and since he was still holding Jonathan so he couldn’t punch him, he relaxed his hold and brought him close instead. “Oh, hey, I’m sorry, Jon…”

Jonathan clung to him for a few moments, little whimpers caught in his throat. Then he disentangled himself and meandered down the hall to the bathroom, muttering, “Place is a mess. Everything’s a freaking mess. Somebody’s gotta take care of it…”

All three trailed him and found him on his knees with the wastebasket beside him, trying to stuff pieces of broken glass and wood into the little wicker container.

Der put a hand on his shoulder, his voice wavering as he said, “Pretty Jon, Vince is at the hospital all alone. We should go to him.”

“Fucking ghosts,” Jonathan muttered as if he hadn’t heard. “No respect for a nice, clean house. You’d think they’d want a clean house to haunt. Can’t leave things like this. Blood‘s never gonna come out. Never does. Always blood. Always…everywhere…”

“Gods.” Der wiped a hand over his face. “He can’t go like this. Poor Vince has enough to deal with. And we can’t leave him here. He’s scared out of his wily little mind. Xav, you wanna play Jonathan-sitter? Maybe get him out of here to your place. He’d probably do better away from all this for now.”

“Sure,” Xavier answered quietly. “C’mon Jonathan, let me take you back to my place for a bit. I’ll call Dave and ask him to come clean up here, okay? He can get the stains out no problem.” Xav took Jonathan’s hand and pulled him up, still finding it hard to believe that Drew, quiet shy Drew, caused all this mess. “Leave that stuff, you’re going to cut yourself.” He got Jonathan to leave off picking up debris and led him out of the bathroom.

With his hand between Jonathan’s shoulders he steered him down the hall toward the front door. He looked back over his shoulder. “You guys going to the hospital?” He asked, and Der nodded. “Ok, call me later and let me know what’s what.” With that, he got Jonathan out and into the car.

“I have to take care of it,” Jonathan still murmured. “Who’ll take care of things?”

Xav just patted his knee and pulled out. At the apartment, he couldn’t get Jonathan to sit still. He wandered in aimless circles, picking up random things to wipe them off. Xavier felt a little guilty about it but he finally set him to cleaning the bathroom which Jonathan accomplished with grim zeal. Every inch gleamed when he was through, even the molding behind the door and the spot behind the toilet had been scrubbed.

After that he washed up, wandered back out to the sofa, curled into an incredibly tight ball and went to sleep.


Vincent sat hunched over his crutches, determined to control the shivering if it killed him. He lifted his head when an official medical sort walked towards him.

“He’s awake? Could I see him?”

“Yes, you can see him. We’ll be transferring him soon, and then visiting will be up to the doctors, but you can see him now.”

Vince made his slow way up and the nurse added, “He’s restrained, don’t be alarmed, it’s for his own safety, but don’t take them off.”

He nodded and made his way to the room number he was given.

Drew was still groggy from the anesthesia, asleep when Vince went into the room. Black Velcro restraints circled his wrists on either side. He must have heard him though because he lifted his head, blinking sleepily with those huge hazel eyes. “Vince?”

The lump in Vincent’s throat threatened to choke him. He pulled a chair over to the bed with his right crutch and eased down so he could kiss Drew’s forehead. “I’m here, my kestrel. Right here. How do you feel?”

“Tired.” Drew answered slowly. “I heard the nurse say they fixed the blood vessel, but they’re not letting me go home.” He seemed lucid. He reached for Vince, or tried to, and sighed. “Can you undo these? I want to hug you.”

Vincent stroked his hair, a spear of pain driven through his heart. “You are ill, my love. They have a number of tests to run still. And they’ve asked me not to unfasten you.” He fought the hitch in his voice and another bout of shivers. “Please forgive me, love. I’d like nothing better than to hold you.”

Drew turned his head to nuzzle into Vince’s palm, kissing him there as the only comfort he could offer. “Vince, you don’t look so good. Are you okay?”

“I’m perhaps a bit…tired, love,” Vincent managed in a voice strained to breaking. “Sleep has been a little scarce this week, hasn’t it?” The chill was simply the sub-arctic hospital temperature, nothing more. He put his head on Drew’s shoulder. “I hate the waiting,” he said softly. “I suppose everyone does.”

Drew once again tried to raise his hand and remembered he couldn’t. Tears suddenly stung his eyes. He couldn’t even hold Vince. His throat hurt and he swallowed hard. “She’s not a ghost, is she, Vince?” He said in a hoarse whisper. “I’m going crazy or something.” His breath hitched and a twin trail of hot tears spilled over his cheeks.

“Don’t cry, my love, please don’t cry,” Vincent said in soft desperation. He took Drew’s face between his hands and kissed him softly, thumbs brushing away the tears as they fell. “She is not a ghost. She haunts you only in the sense that she haunts your subconscious. But–” He turned Drew’s head to face him when he whimpered. “But that does not mean you are insane.”

He brushed the hair from Drew’s eyes. “The more I see and hear, the more I am convinced this is a medical issue as the Prince suggested. They will be taking you to psychiatric for evaluation. Please don’t be afraid. Be a good boy, do as they ask, and answer all of the questions truthfully. The neurologist on staff, Dr. Lassiter, will be coming to see you as well. She’s very kind. I’ve spoken to her and told her all I could. There will be tests and radiology procedures. I may not be allowed to be with you but know that I’m thinking only of you.”

Drew swallowed, trying to get the huge lump in his throat to lessen. He nodded to make Vince feel better, but all he wanted was to be held, to go home with him. He didn’t want to be left here alone.

When they came to wheel Drew away, it took all of Vincent’s willpower not to fling himself across the bed and beg them not to take him. After a last kiss for Drew, he watched in stoic silence, unwilling to let strangers see the hole torn in his heart.

Back out in the waiting room, he slumped into the nearest chair, completely unaware of his surroundings until a long shadow fell over him.

“Hey, handsome.” The deep voice came from far above. “You don’t look quite your dapper, cool self.”

Vincent gazed up and up until he found Der’s gray eyes. “What took you so blasted long?”

“Oh, you know, issues of state, various diplomatic crises. How goes the war, General?”

Vincent told them everything he knew while Der settled on one side and Brandon on the other. Towards the end, his teeth started to chatter and Der frowned in concern.

He put a hand to Vincent’s forehead and hissed. “Hon, you’re burning up.”

“Odd. I don’t feel warm at all,” Vincent murmured.

“You need to go home,” Der began and then remembered no one would be home to take care of him. “Strike that, back up a step. Bran, what’s the verdict? Our place? And we’ll get Jonathan later? I mean, you did make me buy that new sofa bed…”

“Of course,” Brandon said.


Drew lay on the flat table. They had taken the restraints off finally, but he didn’t have any doubt if he twitched wrong they would put them right back on. The radiologist made him take out his tongue ring and the ring in his nipple and put them in a little tray so they could put him in the MRI machine. She asked him if he was at all claustrophobic.

“I don’t think so.” Drew said.

“You don’t think so? Well, I suppose we’ll take that as a no. Usually if you are, you know. Now, you need to stay perfectly still the whole time, alright?”


She pushed some buttons and the table slid inside the tunnel, head first, up to his shoulders. Drew stayed perfectly still. The machine turned on and Drew thought about Vince, and Jonathan, and Der, and how worried they all must be. He thought about school, and the latest composition he was working on. He fought the urge to itch his nose. After what seemed like forever they finally turned the machine off and the table moved again, pulling him back out.

Drew sat up. The radiologist came back around the wall smiling. “All done,” she said, and then her head split open, spilling maggots and black ooze onto the floor.

Drew screamed and jumped off the table.

“Easy! Easy…what’s wrong?” the thing that had been the radiologist asked him.

Drew knocked the IV stand over as he backed away as far and as fast as he could. She was between him and the door and she was coming toward him. “Don’t touch me! Stay away!” he screamed at her as she came closer, dropping putrid bits of flesh as she did. “No! Stay away!”

“Honey, calm down, it’s okay…” Her voice still sounded perfect coming from the ruined decay of her face.

“Oh, please, please don’t touch me.” Drew had backed into the farthest corner he could get, dragging the IV with him. More people were coming now. Drew curled into a ball, whimpering. They were all dead. Horrible, decayed corpses. He squeezed his eyes shut. They grabbed him and there was nothing he could do. He screamed and struggled and he felt the stab of a needle in his arm. He struggled still, but became weaker, and weaker until he couldn’t fight anymore and the dead people picked him up and put him back on the gurney.


“Is there someone here for Andrew Brennan?”

The question brought Der’s head up with a jerk. He blinked, searching for the source, stiff and disoriented. Damned stupid, dozing off in uncomfortable waiting room chairs. There, the tiny woman in the white lab coat. He raised his hand and stood to greet her.

“Well, hello,” she smiled as she shook Der’s hand, apparently not at all phased by sharp teeth and claws. “I‘m Dr. Lassiter, Drew‘s neurologist. You’re not the young man I spoke to before.”

“No, sorry, Vincent was feeling poorly. We sent him home.” And you’re not what I pictured in a neurologist. The iron gray pixie cut, the hand knit sweater vest under the lab coat, with four-color pockets no less, the warm, sunny smile, she looked more like someone’s retired librarian grandma. “Derek Schiller. Friend of Drew’s.”

“No family in the area?”

“None that could be here. You’d have to consider Vincent his family.”

“Boyfriend? Long term?”

“Live-in, yes. Power of attorney and all that.” He took a deep breath and cocked his head to look at her. “Doc, why the third degree? You folks don’t usually want family unless you need to say something no one wants to hear.”

“Mr. Schiller, let’s sit down,” she waved to the empty waiting area. When he settled, no longer towering above her, she began. “Drew’s case is…puzzling, to say the least. From everything Vincent told me, I was certain something would show. But his preliminary MRI’s came out negative and all the blood work shows normal, no foreign substances, no elevated lead levels, nothing.”

“Oh.” Der stared down at his hands, not trusting himself to say more.

“Do you know if he’s ever had any sort of episodes before? Talked about not being connected to his hands or anything like that?”

“You’re saying he might be psychotic,” Der grated out. “He’s not. He’s one of the sanest people I’ve ever met.” He raised his head to look at her, his voice wavering. “He lived through hell, Doc, and came out in one piece. He has a little issue with impulse control but what person his age doesn’t?”

“I’m not saying anything yet, Mr. Schiller.” She reached over and patted his hand. “I’m just trying to gather as much information as possible. Drew’s had another episode, perhaps the worst yet. He’s been sedated and taken to psych or I’d let you see him. I’m not giving up, though, count on that.” She glanced at her watch. “It’s late. Go home. People are probably worried about you.”

Der nodded and did just that after he extracted a promise that she would call with any updates, no matter what time.

Four days later they were no closer to a diagnosis. Drew was put through a battery of tests and was scheduled for more yet. He had fully lucid moments, and episodes of stark terror with increasing frequency, duration, and intensity. The psychiatrist prescribed a handful of drugs, despite Drew’s reluctance to take anything. He was watched carefully to make sure he did swallow the pills. They made him dopey and confused, but did not stop the hallucinations or delusions. That was interesting to the psychiatrist, the fact that Drew came in and out not only of the hallucinations but also the delusion, the belief that the hallucinations were real.

When he was lucid Drew was able to discuss the hallucinations objectively and even tell the doctor he knew he was seeing things that were not real, but while they were happening he couldn’t make that connection and believed everything he saw. This was unusual, the doctor said. In the handful of psychiatric conditions he was trying to narrow down, in nearly all the delusion persisted beyond the actual psychotic break. This led him to believe that whatever affected Drew was not purely in the psyche and he concurred with Drew’s neurologist that more extensive testing needed to be done.

He did not, however, rule out schizophrenia and kept Drew on the drugs. At least they let him out of the restrains unless he became violent. With the cocktail of psychotropics flowing in him, at least his ability to get completely out of control was lessened.

He was allowed visitors, two at a time, and only during certain times of the day. He watched the clock a lot, waiting for Vince or Jonathan.

“Hey there, sunshine! You want to hop in the shower before your friends get here?”

That was Phil, who could probably win a look alike contest with Denzel Washington. Although he had a darker complexion, he could have been his brother. Drew tried thinking of him as a prison guard, but the bitterness wouldn’t stick. Phil was too damn cheerful. Despite Drew’s innate distrust, his anger at being kept in the hospital, and his fear of not knowing what was wrong with him, when he tried to hang all that on Phil he shook it off like water. He was probably the kindest, most patient person Drew had ever met.

He got to see Phil once a day. Drew was not allowed to take a shower without ‘help’. Basically someone had to watch to make sure he didn’t freak out, fall, and brain himself. He was surprised they let him piss and take a crap on his own.

“I guess so,” Drew said. He got up like a creaky old man. It was weird how just lying around in bed all the time made him feel like that. Or maybe it was the drugs.

Shouts came from the hall, one of the other ‘inmates’ riding the crazy train.

“Hang on tiger, I’ll be back for you. I gotta go help out.” Phil disappeared out the door.

Drew sighed, but he sat patiently on the edge of bed, swinging his legs. His fingers moved restlessly on the mattress, tapping out melodies he wanted to hear and maybe write down.

“Hey, Sugar, what’s shakin?”

Drew looked up fast, his breath catching in his throat even as the sickly sweet smell of flowers and dead meat hit him in the face. Josh sat on the chair next to his bed. Drew felt all the air in his lungs turn to lead.

“What? Aren’t you happy to see me?” Josh rose slowly and moved toward him.

Drew made a small frightened sound but he was paralyzed, watching the cobra coming to get the mouse. Josh’s hand touched his cheek and Drew started to tremble. “Josh…”

“Shh…its alright, Sugar. I’m gonna get you outta here.” His cold lips touched Drew’s forehead. “You just close your eyes and open your mouth, okay? Get this guy off quick and I’ll take you home.”

Drew squeezed his eyes shut. “N-no… Josh, please…”

“Now don’t start being a dick. You fuck this guy and we can go home, that’s not too much to ask, is it? After all I do for you?”

Drew sat, shaking so hard he had to grit his teeth. He shook his head no, but he knew he’d do what Josh wanted. He always did what Josh wanted. He had to.

The door to the hall opened again and Phil came in, cheerful as could be. If he noticed Drew’s distress he ignored it, and just went on in his competent way. Drew got up and followed him into the bathroom. Josh watched him go, smiling at him.

Drew stripped and got into the shower while Phil did his thing of watching without really looking. For a big man in a small space he somehow managed to make it seem like he wasn’t really there, just part of the background.

Drew finished and got out, turned the water off and wrapped a towel around him. He knelt on the bathmat in front of Phil and reached for him.

Phil caught his wrists before he could touch him. “Hey… now…um.”

Drew looked up at him with empty eyes. “It’s alright. Josh said to take care of you.”

“I don’t know who Josh is, but you don’t have to do anything of the sort, now c’mon and get up, honey.”

Drew’s expression changed to pleading. “No… please, just let me… Josh will be so mad…”

“Jeez, listen Drew, get up now. I got a wife and three kids at home and even if I did swing that way I wouldn’t take advantage of you.”

Drew tried again to get to his pants. “Please… you don’t understand what he’ll do if you don’t let me…”

“OK, OK,” Phil said, still keeping Drew from groping him. “Listen, I’ll tell Josh we did, and everything will be alright. Okay?”

“I am hoping,” a soft voice that held all the chill of deep space drifted into the bathroom. “That there is a reasonable and credible explanation for this.”

Exhausted and shaky from his bout of flu, Vincent still managed to exude an odd sort of otherworldly menace. He had come alone, despite various protests because he couldn’t risk Jonathan’s stability any further. And now…to find this…

Phil looked at Vince, not in the least intimidated by the tone. “Apparently someone named Josh told him to…ah…” It was hard to tell with his dark skin, but he could and did blush. “…proposition me.”

Drew looked over his shoulder at Vince and a smile came to his face. He seemed to forget about Phil and that he was kneeling nearly naked in front of him. He got up and went to wrap his arms around his lover. “Vince! You came!” He buried his face at the side of his throat. “I missed you so much.”

The towel had slipped to the floor and Vincent found himself with a naked body pressed against him. “My love…” He decided not to mention the towel, leaned his left crutch against the chair and wrapped his arm around Drew. “I’ve missed you, too.”

Without a word, Phil brought a clean pair of hospital scrubs, the long-term patients often preferred them to drafty gowns, and got Drew into the pants without making him let go of Vincent.

“I’m so sorry, Phil,” Vincent said over Drew’s shoulder. “I’m afraid I’m still not feeling quite myself.”

“No problem,” Phil said, smiling.

Drew let Vince go so he could move back and they sat on the bed together. Phil left them alone and Drew wrapped arms and legs around Vince, holding him tight. “When can I go home? No one will give me a straight answer.”

“When they discover what’s wrong, my kestrel,” Vincent said gently. “While you’re here, you have medical assistance at your beck and call, at any time of day. If I took you home and you had another serious seizure…”

He trailed off to hug Drew close. “Be patient, my love. Once they have found the cause, I’m certain we’ll have you home quickly.”

“But… I hate it here.” Drew tried to stop the words before they were out, he tried to at least temper them so he didn’t sound so whiny, but he couldn’t help it. He was miserable, lonely and afraid, and he just wanted to go home. “And I haven’t had another seizure…” he tried to reason, but he already knew it was best for him to stay. He couldn’t ask Vince and Jonathan to put up with him freaking out at any given moment. “Can you at least talk to them about taking me off the drugs? I mean, I’ll take the anti-seizure one but the rest of them… they make me feel like shit. I can’t think.”

“I will suggest it, love, but I can’t guarantee anything,” Vince answered as he stroked his hair. Helplessness warred with an unreasonable anger, not at Drew but at this thing which held him in its grip, at the doctors who could not find the cause and at himself for not being able to make Drew feel any better.

Drew heaved a sigh and fought back tears of frustration. It occurred to him then, for the first time… what it there wasn’t a solution? What if he was like this permanently? The thought was so startling…so sobering, he pulled away. Fear gripped him suddenly. He couldn’t ask Vince and Jonathan to live with him like this… “Vince, what if…w-what if…” He looked up and Josh sat where Vince had been. Drew scrabbled backwards on the bed, pulling his knees up to his chest defensively.


He heard his name as an echo, Vince’s voice overlaid with Josh’s. Icy panic roared through him. What if Josh was possessing Vince? Oh god…no, no, no… this couldn’t be happening. He needed Vince, needed to be able to trust him. He whimpered in fear and confusion. If he couldn’t trust Vince, he couldn’t trust anyone. “NO!” Drew covered his ears, and shook his head, eyes closed tight. It felt like the last light in the whole world had just died. A trickle of dark red slid from Drew nose.

Vincent heaved himself from the bed, scrabbling to get his crutches under his weight. “Phil? Phil! I need help in here!”

Running footsteps sounded in the hall and Phil careened around the corner.

“He doesn’t recognize me, he’s going out again!” Vincent gestured desperately toward the bed, barely keeping his balance.

Phil hit the alarm by the bed and half the staff came at a run. Drew was bundled onto a gurney, half conscious though still struggling. Dr. Lassiter arrived while they were strapping him down.

She took a quick look in his eyes and checked his pulse. “Call over to radiology. I want the hi-res MRI cleared now. I don’t care what else they have scheduled. We’re getting to the bottom of this.” She turned to Vincent. “Courage, my dear.”

Drew thrashed in the restraints, screaming and pleading alternately. Josh was holding him down while Suzie prepared the syringe. They grinned maniacally at him. “This is going to feel soooo good, sugar.” Josh whispered to him. “Just a little something to take the edge off, then our big, black friend here is going to fuck you so hard you’ll feel it next week.”

“No! No! Josh, please no…!”

Suzy giggled as she came at him with the needle. “Night-y night Drew, as soon as you go out we’ll have you aaaalll to ourselves, no one to get in our way.”

“NOOOoooo!” Drew howled and threw every last bit of his strength against the bonds holding him. Vince’s pale worried face swam in front of his eyes, just out of reach. “Vince! Please… don’t let them! Pleasepleaseplease…I’ll be good…don’t… don’t!”

The needle sank into him and Drew screamed again. “They’re going to get me! They’re in my head!” His body bowed as far as the restraints would allow. “They’re in here! They’re…Vince… please…” He suddenly went slack as the sedative began to work. “They’re… in… here…” He slurred the last, his voice becoming quiet and trailing off. “In here…with me.” His eyes slid closed.

Dr. Lassiter patted Vince’s arm sympathetically. “He doesn’t know what he’s saying, dear. Try not to take it to heart,” she said gently as they wheeled Drew out of the room.

Vincent couldn’t move, couldn’t think. Drew’s last anguished words had transformed flesh and bone to heavy crystal. A hard breath and he would break.

“Vincent? Vince, c’mon, hon, we better get you sitting down.” Phil was at his shoulder, had an arm around him and guided him out of the ward to the waiting room.

He reassured Phil in a soft voice that he was fine, stared at the floor and then pulled out his cell. “Spirits help me,” he whispered. “I need to be made of stone.”

When Der’s voice came on the line, he began tell him, quietly and swiftly, what had happened. “Don’t react. Don’t cry. Don’t come down here. Stay with Jonathan.” Vincent squeezed his eyes shut. “Keep him calm. He’ll know something’s not right when I don’t come home. I’ll call you when I know more.”